WEDNESDAYPONDERINGSRamblingsover(mostof)theWednesdaysacross18months

ByLilianaNegoi

WednesdayponderingonbonsaisJuly10th,2013

Isawabonsaitreeearlier.Exquisitelyarranged,perfectinitsappearance.Iadmireditinawe,andthenathoughtcrossedmymindandIcouldntgetridofit:whatexactlywasitthatIadmiredinamutilatedtree?Theartofeducatingaplanttogrowaccordingtoourownwill?Thewaythesmalltreemanagestoforgetaboutthecuttingandtheclumpingandthetrimmingandthewiringandthealltogethercontortionismtowhichitissubjected,andsimplygrows?Whatistherealbeautyofabonsai?Doesitresideinthesmallness?Butsmallnessisrelativerelatedtoourownsize.Dowecreatebonsaisinorderforthemtomakeusfeelbigger?Anidenticaltree,thoughbiggerthanus,wouldbesmallerthanamountain.Butthenagain,anidenticalthoughbiggertreewouldntappearjustasbeautifulindifferentcircumstances.Wedlookatitwithpityandsaypoortree,sotwisted,withoutrealizingthatthetwistedoneisourownview.So,isitactuallyaboutthecircumstancesinwhichwelookatit?Doweactuallylovethehiddenwisdomofnature,lettingusbelievethatwesubdueditandforceditintoshape,wheninfactnaturesimplyfolloweditscourse,survivingthecircumstances?Isthatwhatimpresses?Ormaybetheapparentresignationandsubmissionofthetreeunderourtouch?Doesthebonsaifeeltheaweintheeyesofhisbeholders?Doesthatcomfortitinanyway?DoesouradmirationinfrontofitMATTER?Ormaybewhatweactuallydoissubconsciouslyenjoythetacitguiltspicingouradmirationamilderformofsadismunderthepretextofartandbeauty,excusingthecruelty.Atthispointatleasthalfofyou,dearreaders,will

protestandtalktomeabouttheseculartraditionofbonsaiaestheticsandsaythatitsnotaproofofcruelty.Isitnow?*smiling*FootbindinginChinausedtoalsobedoneunderthepretextofbeauty.HowinterestinglysimpleisactuallythehumanessenceButletmenotdivagate.Ilikedthesightofthatlittlebonsai.Isippeditsbeautywithallmystrengthandloveditandassumedtheguiltforlovingitwithawareness,withhumilityandshame.Thatbonsaibearsthemarkofhumanartistryandmaybethatisthelessonafterall.

WednesdayponderingonbloodJuly17th,2013

Todaywasonebloodyday.Literally.Andfiguratively.Firstthesunrise.Iwokeupat5a.m.andduetothatIgottoadmireableedinghorizon,absolutelysplendid.Ofcourse,allsunrisesarespectacularandmostofthemareredandimpressiveandsoon.Butthisonecamemorelikeapreludeofallthatcamenext.Whichwasmyeldersonsbloodtests(thereasonforthoseisunimportanthere)andafullarrayofnervesandedginessaccompanyingthem.Attheemergencyhospital,wherewehadbeensentfirst,theyhadnospecialchildrenneedlesfordrawingblood,andafterafailedattemptspicedwithtonsoftearsandscreamsofmyoffspring,thedoctorthere(quiteaniceladyactually)sentustothepediatrichospital(whereweshouldhavegoneinthefirstplacedontaskmewhyweweresentattheotheroneinitially,Ihavenoidea).Anyway,wemanagedtohavehisbloodtestedeventually,andthenfollowedanotherstage.Idonatedblood.ItwasntthefirsttimeIdidthat,andmostcertainlywontbethelasttime.ButeachtimeIgototheHematologyInstituteforthatmatterIexperiencetheweirdestfeelings.TodayIwaslookingatthepeoplewaitingtheretosharetheirownlifeforcewithotheranonymousreceivers.Somecamealone,somewiththeirfamily,somewithafriendortwo.AtfirstIwantedtotakemysonintherewithmeandshowhimthewholething,butwefoundoutthatchildrenwerentallowedintheroominstitutespolicy,forfearthattheyoungoneswontbetraumatizedby

witnessingtheentireprocedure.Personally,Ibelievethatisonestupidpolicy.Childrenshouldbeallowedtoseethisprocess.Tounderstanditandbecomeawareofitsmeanings.Torealizethatthesamebloodthatflowsthroughtheirparentsveinsandtheirownveinsflowsthroughtheveinsofeachhumanbeingonearth.Iliketothinkthat,ifaparentknewthathischildcannotstandwatchingbloodbeingdrawn,he/shewouldntbringthemthere.ButIbelievemysonwouldhavebeencapabletowatchandunderstandthis.Besides,Ifinditironicthatwatchingaselflessactlikewillinglydonatingbloodforotherswouldtraumatizeachild,butseeingactsofcrueltyonthestreetandonTVandinthefamilyandsoonwouldnt.Forgiveme,Idontquitefollowthislogic.Andnow,sittinginmyyard,Imwatchingtheskystillhavingafewhourstillsundown.Whichwillobviouslybered.Afteradaylikethisithastobered.Ithastobebloody.Thatwaythecirclewouldbecomplete.

WednesdayponderingonnothingJuly24th,2013

Iwantedtostartwritingmytodaysponderingearlier,butIcouldnt.NotthatanythingpreventedmefromdoingsobutIjustdidntknowwhattowriteabout.Youknowthatkindofdayswhenyourebeingaskedwhathappenedtoyoutodayandyousaynothing?Well,thatswhatprettymuchmycaseisrightnow.Sofarnothingworthtalkingabouthappenedtometoday.OratleastthatshowIfeltuntilfiveminutesago,whenIwasstillsqueezingmybrainforatopic.ThenIrealizedsuddenlythatitsgoodtohavedayswhennothinghappens.Anothinglikemakingatomatosoupandpaintingwiththechildrenorwatchingsparrowsdiggingforbreadcrumbsintheyardwhileoneofthedogsleanslazilyagainstmyleg(andthemuttincauseisjustanadultGermanshepherdbutthenagain,theresnolawgoverningcaninesizerelatedmushiness)canactuallybeveryrefreshing.Andifyoucometothinkaboutit,thenothingsthatIlistedaboveareaverysolidproofthatmylifeisagoodone,formanywouldenvymeforatleastoneofthem.True,itsnotlikeallthosethingsareREALLYnothing,butwehavethistendencyofreducingtheimportanceofourdailyeventsbasedontheirlevelofroutineinourlivesoronthequantityofadrenalinethattheyinjectinourveins,andonlywhenweredeprivedofthemwerealizejusthowmuchtheytrulymeant.Atomatosoupisaverysimplecourse,buttherearepeopleforwhomitwouldbearoyalmeal.Childrenpaintingcanbemessybuttherearekidswho

haventgotatleastonecolouredpencilandtherearewomenwhodgladlywashkidsclothesdailyiftheyhadanykids.Andtheunconditionalloveofananimalissomethingforwhichwedosolittletodeserveitsometimes!Weminimizemuchtooeasilythelevelofsomethingnessofcertainaspectsofourlives,andbecauseofthatweforgetabouttherealvaluesofourexistence.Andwearemuchtooevanescentinnaturetoaffordtoforgetaboutsuchathing.Imgoingbacktomynothingnowadmiringthecloudsatthehorizonwhilehavingalatecoffee(yeah,feelfreetoenvymesomemoreforthecaffeinenothavinganyeffectsonmysleep)andtryingtoignorethescreamingofmythreeboys(countingmyhusbandasachildtoo,yeah)playingwiththewaterhoseintheyard.Happynothingstoallofyou!

WednesdayponderingonhappinessJuly31st,2013

Itsraininghasntrainedforawhilenowandonlythoseofyouwhovegonethroughextensivedroughtwillunderstandtheolfactoryclimaxgivenbythepetrichorrising:).Addtothatamildbreezefluffingthewindowcurtains,acupofcoffeeandthesoundofRachmaninoff,andthereyouhaveasliceofperfectlyseasonedhappiness.Andspeakingofhappiness,theresasmallparableintowhichIbumpedtheotherday:AmansaidtoBuddha,"IwantHappiness.HowdoIgetit?"Buddhasaid:Firstremove"I",that'sego,thenremove"want",that'sdesire.See,nowallyouareleftwithisHappiness.Butisitactuallythatsimple?(ascomplexthatsimpleactuallyis)Wewanthappiness.Allofus.Andthatswherealltheparadoxbeginsthemorewewantitandrunafterit,thefartheritseemstobe.ClichslikeIvesearchedforhappinessmyentirelifeandneverfounditcanalwaysbeheardroundus.Butonemustunderstandfirstofallthathappinessprovidedbyperishablethingscannotbesomethingpermanent,becausewhentheobjectorthecircumstancesprovidingushappinessaregone,guesswhat:soisourinnerfeeling.Andonecannotbaskfortherestofitslifeinthememoryofwhatwasbutisnomore.Thenagain,WHATgeneratestherealhappinessthateverybodychases?Thefeelingofjoy?Asprinkleofgoodluck?Havingthebarenecessitiesoflifefulfilled?The

numberorqualityofourearthlypossessions?Discoveringthesecretsoftheuniverse?Beingtogetherwiththeonewelove?Happinessisadifferentdrugforeachofus,andamostexpensiveonetooitcostsusourentirelives,andnomatterhowmuchweallhaveofitatsomepoint,wekeeponwantingmore.Sofarthough,nobodycomplainedofhavinganoverdoseofit.Thatmayalsobeduetothefactthatwekeepchasinganillusioninsteadofseeingtherealhappinesswhich,often,ismerelyaglanceawayandevenwhenwenoticeit,itallseemssosimpleandathandthatwethinkitcantbethateasy!andwemoveon,ignoringit.Buthappinessdoesnthavetobesomethingcomplicated.Happinessneedsonlybefelt.Notwanted,notchased.Justfelt.Itsineverythingaroundus,anditdoesntcostadime.Doessmellingflowersmakeyouhappy?Doit!Youjustlovetoreadbooks?Whynot?!Runningearlyinthemorningandbeingstruckinthefacebythebeautyofsunriseisasourceofit?Goahead!Real,rawhappinessisthere,inthesmileofalovedoneorinthedeliciousnessofsomefruitorinthebeautyofstars.Orinacupofcoffeespicedwithmusic,petrichorandamildbreeze.

WednesdayponderingonheatAugust7th,2013

ItssodamnhotoutsidethatImsureIcanfryaneggonthestreetsasphalt.Anditsnotjustafigureofspeech.Andhere,inthecountryside,theheatisbearable,comparedtothefeelingofsuffocationonegetsinthebigcities,whereconcreteandasphaltandinsufficientvegetationtendtoamplifytheburningeffectofsunlight.Areweallowedtocomplainabouttheclimatechange?Abouttheheatoutside?Honestly,no,becauseamajorreasonforwhatisgoingonisthethinningoftheozonelayerandthesignificantdestructionsrelatedtothevegetallifeonearth.Manywillsaythattheyarenottoblame,becausetheyarebehavingveryecologicallycorrect,recycling,savingenergy,etc,buttherearesomanyotherswhocouldntcarelessabouttheworldwidesituationandjustgoonwiththeiractions,willinglyignoringitall.Shouldweblamethem?Whoshouldthrowthefirststone?Andwhoshouldbethefirsttobestoned?(No,notstonedinthatway:P.)Personally,Ibelievethatthesindidntstartwithmodernage.Modernageonlyperpetuatedit.Maybeitallstartedwiththeindustrialrevolution,ormaybeitstartedwiththeinventionofthewheel,ormaybeitallbeganwhenmankindsimplyappearedonEarth.Doesitmatteranymore?!ArentwematureenoughatthispointastostopchasingforguiltyonesandtoactuallyDOSOMETHINGaboutthecurrentsituation?!

Irememberashortstorywhere,duetoahugestorm,theseahadthrownontheshoreanawfullylargeamountoffish.Thefishwerefloppingthere,onthesand,suffocating,unabletogetbackintothewater.Amanwaswalkingontheshore,saddenedbyalltheview,whenhesawasmallboythrowingfishintothesea,onebyone.Themansaidwithabittersmile:Youcannotsaveallthefishyoungboy,whystruggle?!Andtheboyreplied:IknowIcantsavethemallbutIcansavethisoneandthisoneandthisoneIliketothinkthat,afterthatline,themanalsobegantohelptheboyandtothrowbackfishintotheseabutImnotsurethatswhathappened.Asathinparalleltothis,thinkaboutthefollowingthing:weareover7billionpeoplelivingonthisplanet.Sure,noneofuscouldsavethewholeplanetallbyhimself.Butifeachoneplantedatleastonetree,imaginewhataforestthatwouldmean!Startcaring,people!Notbecauseothersdontcare,butbecauseifyoudont,whywouldothers?!

WednesdayponderingonsilenceAugust14th,2013

IwasreadingaboutJohnCagetodayandhisfamouspiece,433.Asyoumayknow,thatisacompositionconceivedin1952,meantforanyinstrument(orcombinationofinstruments),andthescoreinstructstheperformer(s)tonotplaytheinstrument(s)duringtheentiredurationofthepiece,whichismeanttoconsistofthesoundsoftheenvironmentthatthelistenershearwhileitisperformed,althoughitiscommonlyperceivedas"fourminutesthirtythreesecondsofsilence".ThereasonwhyIwasreadingthatislessimportant,theironywasthattherewasanawfulamountofnoisearoundmewhileIwasplungingintoCagesreasonstowriteapieceaboutsilence.Now,preciselyatthetimewhenIwassortofprayingforamiraclethatwouldstopallthatnoise,myeyesfellonthefragmentquotedbelow:In1951,CagevisitedtheanechoicchamberatHarvardUniversity.Ananechoicchamberisaroomdesignedinsuchawaythatthewalls,ceilingandfloorabsorballsoundsmadeintheroom,ratherthanreflectingthemasechoes.Suchachamberisalsoexternallysoundproofed.Cageenteredthechamberexpectingtohearsilence,buthewrotelater,"Iheardtwosounds,onehighandonelow.WhenIdescribedthemtotheengineerincharge,heinformedmethatthehighonewasmynervoussysteminoperation,thelowonemybloodincirculation."Cagehadgonetoaplacewhereheexpectedtotalsilence,andyetheardsound."UntilIdietherewillbesounds.Andtheywillcontinuefollowingmydeath.Oneneednotfearaboutthe

futureofmusic."Therealisationashesawitoftheimpossibilityofsilenceledtothecompositionof433.Andlo!WhileIwasreadingthat,thehugenoisearoundmestopped,andIwasabletohearthemusicofmyneurons,chewingontherelativesilencesuddenlyfallenuponmysurroundings:).Quiteapoeticcoincidence,ifImayadd.Butcomingbacktothepoint,whatpeoplegrewtocallassilenceismerelytheabsenceofsounds.Anabsenceotherwiserelative,asdemonstratedbythequoteaboveforourownbodyalwaysplaysitsownmusic,abovetheabsolutestateofsilence.Sometimeswelikeit,sometimeswedont,simplybecausesilence,likeallthings,issometimesnecessary,andothertimesitshouldbereplacedbysomethingelse.Therecanbesilenceinthemiddleofthestorm,aswellasitcanlackinthemiddleofsomeanechoicchamber.Whatmattersmostisnotthephysicalsilencethatweexperience,butthementalone,whenthemindcomestothatstateofsilencecalledpeacebecausethatiswhenweactuallyhearoursoul.

WednesdayponderingonwasteAugust21st,2013

YesterdaywastheWorldOvershootingDay.IsawtheaboveinsertedphotoyesterdayonaFacebookpagethatIabsolutelyadoreIfuckinglovesciencehttps://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScienceandforasecondIthoughtwow,thatsworrying.ButthenIrealizedthatitwouldbeworryingifwewerethetypeofthoughtfulconsumerswhotreatedwithmoderationeachresourceandproperlyweighedtheimportanceofeachthingdone,andtheplanetsimplydidnthaveenoughresourcestosustainallofus.ButheresanotherstatisticsuntowhichIbumpedawhileago,statingthatwealreadygrowenoughfoodfor10billionpeopleandstillcantendhunger(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ericholtgimenez/worldhunger_b_1463429.html),evenifcurrently

theworldpopulationisofapproximately7billionpeople.Inmyunderstanding,thatmeansthatwhatweactuallydoisWASTE.Withcapitals.Andthat,dearfriends,isworsethanworrying,itshorrifying.WhatsevenworsethanthatisthattheWorldOvershootDaydoesntreferonlytofoodbuttoALLresources.Thatmeansthatwekindoffinishedourbudgetforthisyearinabouttwothirdsoftheallocatedtime.Andtoquotefromtheimagedescriptionfromthesamepagementionedabove,Todayisthedaywhentheworldhasusedupoursustainableresourcesandcarbonabsorptionfortheyear.Everythingweusebeyondthiscannotbesustainedunderpresentconditionsandisessentiallyborrowedfromfuturegenerations.DoesntthatsoundatleastaLITTLEfreakishtoyouall?!Sure,thereareplentyofzensayingstellingyoutonotworryaboutthepastandthefuture,butonlyfornow.AndIamnottellingyoutoworryaboutyourfutureseither(itseemsyoudont,anyway).Buttryworryingalittleaboutthepresentofyourchildren,andabouttheoneofyourgrandchildren,andsoon.Donttheydeserveachancetonotworryabouttheirownfutures?Wecantstopconsumingforthenextfourmonthsorso,sothatouryearlybalancecomestozerobytheendofDecember.Butcanweatleaststarttonotwastesomanythings?Areweevenawarethatononesideweproducebillionsoftonsofgarbage,whileontheothersidetherearepeoplewhohavelearnedtorecycleituptothepointofturningitintoartlikethemusicplayedoninstrumentsmadeoutoftrash?Youcanseethatathttp://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2013/07/20/therecycledorchestraplayinginstrumentsmadeoutoftrash/.Butofcourse,youshouldntworryaboutthefutureorthepast,onlyaboutthenow.However,whatifyournowisawrongone?

WednesdayponderingonsufferingAugust28th,2013

Alittleearlierafriendofminewascomplainingthatshewasgoingthroughterriblesuffering(well,shewasntreally,itwasjustafigureofspeechanditdoesntmatterwhysheusedthatexpression),butitwasthenthatIrealizedthatthepast24hoursrevolved,onewayoranother,aroundthisword:sufferance.Mineorothers.AndIstartedtoponderabouttheroleofrealsufferingsometimesphysical,sometimesmentalorspiritualinourlives.Somemaysaythatthatthereasonwhywesuffer,nomatterforwhatreasons,isforustolearntoappreciatethejoysweencounterinourlives.Andmaybeitstruethatwecanonlylearnhappinessbybeingdeprivedofit,andwecanonlylearntocherishthenowbycomparingittothepastandthefuture.Thereasonforthiscouldresideinthewayweareraisedintobelievingthateverythingonthisearthismerelyamixtureofoppositesindifferentproportions,butallbasedontheyin&yangprinciple.Ergo,sufferingisapartoflifethatwehavetoexperienceatsomepointandinacertaindegree,inordertolearnsomething.RelatedtothisIrememberafunnyquotefromNancieJ.CarmodywhichIminsertingbelow:

So,puttingasidethesmile,accordingtothis,theresagoodpartabouteachsufferingitonlydependsonhowyoulookatit.Sometimesitsmerelytheglasshalfempty/halffullexercise.Othertimesitsnotthateasy,andtherearepainsthatwecouldntpossiblybelievetohaveagoodpart.Somehowthough,theyhaveoneandsoonerorlaterwefindit,andifwerewiseenoughweacceptit.Andwhenweacceptit,weclosethecircleandcompletetheexperience.Becauseitsinthehumannaturetoassumethateverythinginthisuniversemusthaveaperfectopposite,andtoperceiveeachoftheoppositeelementsindividually,aspartsofawhole.Theawarenessoftheabsolutesingularitiesistheappanageofthedivinewhateverthedivinemaybeforeachofus.

WednesdayponderingongreedSeptember4th,2013

Idontknowhowmanyofyou(thosewhoarenotRomanians,Imean)haveheardabouttheprotestsgoingonhere,relatedtothegovernmentsintentiontoallowacertainCanadiancompanytominethegoldandsilverfromtheundergroundofaplacecalledRosiaMontana.Briefly,thecontractlooksasifthecompanyactuallybuys(withoutusingthatpreciseword)thewholearea,beingallowedtoliterallywipeoutthevillagesandmountainsinthatfieldinordertogettotheundergroundriches.WhattheRomaniangovernmentreceivesascompensationforthewholeactionisludicrouslysmallcomparedtowhatitgives.Asanote,RosiaMontanaistheoldestattestedcityinRomania.Therearearcheologicalsitesthereandnaturalmonumentswhichwillbelost,becausetheycannotberelocated.AndtheySHOULDNTberelocatedanyway.Thatswherehistoryhappenedthatswhereitshouldremainandbelearnedabout.

Thegovernmentpassedtheprojecttotheparliament,inorderforitsmemberstovotefor/againstitsputtingintopractice.Asimagined,peoplecouldntjustsitasideandletallthisatrocityhappensotheywentoutinthestreets,andtheykeepprotestingeveningafterevening,butthelocaltelevisionsshownothingoralmostnothing.Themotherofadearfriendofminenoticedtheamountofinformationcirculatingontheinternet,regardingthismatter,andaskedmyfriendSo,thosewhodonthaveinternet,orFacebook,wontfindoutaboutallthesethings?!Whatcanoneanswertothat?!Ihavefriendswhoareparticipatingtotheprotestmarches,whostrivetokeeptheirmoraleup,sinceitallappearstobejustalostcause:peoplewillcontinuetoprotest,somewillbefinedbecauseofdisturbingthepublicpeacebutthenagain,isntthewholethingamatterofpublicpeace?!IsntthethoughtofharboringaHUGEcyanidereservoirinthemiddleofourcountryamatterofpublicpeace?!Imean,ifthepeople,theRomanianpeople,arentthepublicinneedforpeaceinRomania,thenWHOTHEFUCKis?!Andtogoevenfurther,acyanidereservoirshouldbeamatterofconcernforanycountryintheworld,notjustmine.Wearetalkingabouttonsofpoison,whichnobodycanriskpenetratingtheearthslayers.WearetalkingaboutapotentialcatastrophecomparedtowhattheChernobylwilllooklikeateenagecamp,tousethewordsofoneofthosetalkingaboutthismatter.Soplease,tellme,WHOshouldbeconcernedaboutthisfirstofall,ifnotUS?ALLofus?Anyway,myfearinallthisisthat,intheend,theywillgetthegoldandwhateverothermetalsarethere,intheearthsbowels,wewillgetthecyanidebasin,andprettysoonRomaniawillbegintosinkwithinitself.Whathappenshere

happenedinsomanyotherplaces,andwillhappeninotherplaces,andasasplendidcoincidence,intheverysecondwhenImwritingthisdown,alinefromamovierunningonTVreachesmyhearing:THISisanactofwar.Andsuchanactitisindeed.Anactofthreateningthehealth,thesafety,thewelfareofpeople,ofANYpeople,ISanactofwar.Nomatterifitsproducedbyaforeigngovernmentorbyitsown.THISiswrong.

WednesdayponderingonlifeanddeathSeptember11th,2013

12yearsagopeoplediedandwecommemoratethemeachyear.Thetruthiswealldie.Everythingdies.Itsinnaturescourse.ItonlymattersHOWyoudie,andhowyoulivedyourlifebeforethat.Weshouldntmerelysurviveforanumberofyears;weshouldactuallyLIVEourlives.Weshouldliveandlearn,andteachotherswhatwelearned.Weshouldteachourchildrenthatdeathisindeedapartoflife,andthatweshouldtrytonotinflictitonotherpeopleorotherbeings.Anybeings.ThoseofyouwhoknowmealsoknowthatImnotmuchofareligiousperson,butonedoesnthavetobeverymuchreligiousinordertoknowthatatleastoneoftheChristianTenCommandments,Thoushallnotkill,isaboveChristianity,aboveanyreligionatall.Itsabouttheessenceofhumanitywhichissupposedlyflowingthroughourveins.Butpeopledied12yearsago,likepeopledied50yearsago,or2000yearsago,ofteninnocentandnotdeservingthetortureandthehorrortowhichtheyweresubmitted.Now,12yearslater,or50yearslater,or2000yearslater,we,theliving,havelearnednothingfromthat.MaybeweshouldallstartthislearningwithPrimumnonnocereFirst,donoharm.Whateverharmmaymean.

WednesdayponderingonairSeptember18th,2013

Iwassittingoutsideearlier,enjoyingacoldfuriousautumnwindthatblewallalongmyyardsignthatsomewhereastormmusthavehappened.AndwhileIsmelleditschildishangerIcouldnthelpthinkingaboutitsatomsvisitingmylungs,divorcingthereandoxygenremaininginwhileCO2(andwhateverelseaside)flyingoutfreely.Thesameatomsthat,maybe,felttheflutteringofsomesparrowswingsoh,whatthehell,letsmakeitaneaglesincewethinkaboutbirdsintheskiesorthatmayhavebeenwashedbyanimbuscloud.Theatomswithoutwhichourlifeherewouldbeimpossible.Maybetheairtakencaptivebymylungsoncevisitedotherlungs.Ormaybeitwasvirgin,untouchedbyhumanbreathbeforethatmoment.Itdoesntmatter.Whatmattersisthat,onceitremainsinsidethelungsofoneofus,oxygenneverleavesus.Weareitsultimateconsumers.Doweevertakethetimetothanknatureforproducingit?ThatirreplaceableO2,giventousforfree,comingoutthroughphotosynthesisfromtheporesofeachgreenplant?Wedont.Wetakeitforgrantedandoftenwasteit,likewewastesomanyotherthingsonearth.Andyouknowwhatwewasteitonmostoften?Onsheerstupidity.OURstupidity.Ifoneinventedsomechemicalprocessofsplittingstupidityintooxygenandsomethingelse,thatonewouldbecomerich.Andnextwewouldhavepeopleabletoselfsustaintheirlivesduetothehugeamountofstupiditystoredintheirbeings.Andmaybenextstupiditywouldbethenextgreatthingonearthsothisisntgood.Comingtothepoint,IdontthinkwhatIdislike

more:theabsurdscenariomytiredmindjustcreated,ortherealismofthefollowingimage:

Intheend,nomatterthattheoxygenweburncomesfromtreesorplanktonorothersources,itsvalueisstillthesame.Priceless.Andweneverwastethechancetopolluteitbeitwithchemicalsorwithinnateidiocy.Sogohugatree(anytreeitsthesymbolthatmatters)andthankit.YoumayproduceCO2whenyoubreathebutthetreedoesntneedyoutoproduceitforit.You,however,needtheoxygen.Wealldo.Theimagewastakenfromhttp://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/4444788/title/

WednesdayponderingondiamondsSeptember25th,2013

Somesaythatdiamondsareagirlsbestfriends.Whenyoufirsthearthat,ittendstosoundverymaterial,shallowmeaning,Butifyoutakealittletimetothinkaboutit,youwillunderstandthatitsactuallyaverytruestatement.Diamondsarenotonlyagirlsbestfriends,butoftenevenmirrors.QuotingWikipedia:Inmineralogy,diamond(fromtheancientGreekadmas"unbreakable")isametastableallotropeofcarbon,wherethecarbonatomsarearrangedinavariationofthefacecenteredcubiccrystalstructurecalledadiamondlattice.Diamondislessstablethangraphite,buttheconversionratefromdiamondtographiteisnegligibleatstandardconditions.Diamondisrenownedasamaterialwithsuperlativephysicalqualities,mostofwhichoriginatefromthestrongcovalentbondingbetweenitsatoms.Inparticular,diamondhasthehighesthardnessandthermalconductivityofanybulkmaterial.Veryscientific,preciseandcold.Allowmethoughtowarmthingsupalittlebit,bypointingoutoneofthemostbeautifulsimilaritiesbetweendiamondsandhumans:theyarebothcarbonbased.Maybethiswouldexplaininacertainmeasuresomanywomensattractiontowardsthesegems.Afterall,theycanalwayssayHey,itsfamily!Andfamilyshouldsticktogether!:)Butdidyouknowthatadiamondisjustasfragileasitishard?Thatitonlytakesforatinyscratchononeofitsedges

forittosimplycrackintoshards?Thehardestknownthingtomanisalsoofanunbelievablefragility.Andhere,diamondsrelate,again,towomen(well,theywouldrelatetomentoo,butyouknowmen,theywouldneveradmittheyrefragile:)).Thesamecanhappentothestrongestoneofus.Wearediamondsuntilsomeone(orsomething)findsthatexactspotwherejustatinyscratchtearsustopieces.Sometimeswegetfixed,sometimesnot.However,theessenceremainsthesame.Imawoman.Anddiamondscouldindeedbemybestfriends.BecauseImoneofthem.

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://www.fansshare.com/gallery/photos/535118/marilynmonroediamonds/?displaying

WednesdayponderingonfriendslostOctober2nd,2013

Didyouevercryforatree?Ididyesterday,forasevenyearsoldacaciathatwasgrowinginthebackofmyyard.ThattreewasbarelyrisingwhenIandmyhusbandmovedinthehousewherewelive.Inthepastyearsitgrewintoasplendor.Lastyeareven,tooursurprise,itbloomedfourtimesquiteunusual.Naturedecidedtocutitdowntheothernight.Ididn'tcrywhenmygrandmotherdied.Ididn'tfeeltheneedtoduetovariousreasons..Butyesterdaymorningthebackofmyyardwassuddenlysoempty,andthesightofthefieldbehinditsodesolating,thatIcouldn'tstopthetearsfromflowing.Thewindthattookitdownwasstillblowing,awfullystrong,butIkneltasidethefallentrunkandputahandonit,asitlaythere.Thebarkwascoldandrough,andIfeltsoterriblysorry,asifsomeoneverydeartomehadjustpassedawayandforsomereasonitwasbecauseofmyfault,becauseIdletitdown.Iknow..."it'sjustatree",someofyoucouldthink.TothoseofyouIonlywanttosaythatnotreeisjustatree.Threemetersfurtherfromitthereisanoldcherrytree.Veryold.Halfofitisdeadalready,hollow.LastyearmyhusbandandIweretalkingaboutcuttingitdownthisspring,asifprayingtobeallowedtocontinuetolive,itblossomedinthemostbeautifulwaypossible.Wedecidedtoletitlive.Ironically,thecherrytreeisstillthere.Evenifhalfdead,itstillstands,despiteithavingfacedthesameawfulwind.Theacacia,ontheotherhand,thoughstrongandhealthy,

fell.Maybethat'swhyIfelttheneedtocrybecauseofthefrustrationthatencompassedmewhenItriedtounderstandwhattwistedreasoncouldnaturehavetohelpsurviveanoldandcrippledtreebuttakedownanotheryoungerandstrongerone?Butthen,asIsatthere,bythefallenacaciasside,Irealizedthatthewindofchangenevercaresaboutonesageorstrength.Iwillnotsaythattheresareasonineverythingthathappens.Maybeitis.ButwhatIwanttotellyouisthatthereisnothingthatprovesbettertheevanescentnatureofallthingsonearththanthedeathofthosestillyoung,stillstrong.Mysevenyearsoldacaciaisnowdead.Butthirtycentimetersawayfromthenowbrokentree,ayoungacaciasproutstartedtogrowthisyear.AndnowIwonderifthatcouldbethewayinwhichmynowdeadfriendprepareditselfandmeforitspassing

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Acacia_%28flower%29_IMG_0835_1725.jpg

WednesdayponderingonshootingstarsOctober9th,2013

TodayweweresupposedtowatchtheDraconids.Weplannedalldaylong,meandmykids,themomentwheneveningwouldcomeandwedseethemultitudeofmeteorsinthenightsky.Luckyusthougheveningcamecloudy.Athickgrayblanketcoversatthispointthecelestialcanopy,hidingfromoursighttheastronomicphenomenon.Itoftenhappenslikethatinlifeyoumakeplansforsomebignightevent,andwhenthenightcomes,theskyiscoveredwithclouds.Butthatdoesntmeanthattheplanscantbefurtheradapted.Cantseethestarsabovewithyoureyes?Whataboutwithyourmind?Itmaysoundlikeanexerciseofimagination,butwhatitreallyis,isanexerciseofoptimism.Yousimplyhavetofindawaytobypassthelessersideofthings.Youmayfindthateventhethickestblanketofcloudscanbepenetratedbyasharpmind,whenyoureallywanttoseebeyondit.Andwhenyoumanagetodoso,whatsplendidrewardyoureceive!Imgoingoutnowtolookattheskythroughmyeyelidsandseetheshootingstarsfurrowingthedarknessbeyondtheclouds.Badweatherwontpreventmefromenjoyingtheirbeauty:).Andwhoknows,maybeatsomepointthelayerofpuffygraynesswillmoveasidealittle,enoughformetoseeatleastoneofthosecometparticlesburningtodeathinouratmosphere.

WednesdayponderingonmiraclesOctober16th,2013

Myyoungersonfoundapeachpittoday,andinhisinnocencedecidedtoplantit.Sohedagahole,putthepitinsideit,covereditandthenwateredit.HesaidIputasmuchwaterasitneededtogrow.Anditwillgrow.Ithinktomorrowitwillgrow.Ismiledat

hisconfidentstatementandashemovedfurtherIfoundmyselfardentlyhopingthathistreewouldindeedgrow,notnecessarilyinorderforustohaveapeachtreeintheyard(thoughitwouldbenicenotetoself,plantapeachtreea.s.a.p.)butbecauseIwantmychildrentofindreasonstobelieveinmiraclesinabouteverythingespeciallywhentheyhelpcreatingthem.ThewordmiracleoriginatesfromtheLateLatinmiraculum,meaningwonder,marvel,frommiraritowonderat.Apparently,astheMerriamWebsterdictionaryexplainstous,thewordsfirstknownusewasinthe12thcentury.However,miracleshappenedbeforethattimeforsure,eveniftheywerenameddifferently.Peopleusedthiswordorotherstopointtowardseventsnotascribabletohumanpowerorthelawsofnatureandconsequentlyattributedtoasupernatural,especiallydivine,agency.Ifyoucometothinkofit,miraclesbirthedandkilledgodsthroughthemeansofmanslimitedpowerofunderstanding,becauseincertainpeopletheytouched

theirfear,whileinotherstheytouchedtheircuriosity.Thatshowreligionandsciencewereborn.Thebestthingaboutmiraclesthoughisthattheymakeusgrow.Allofus.Onewayoranothertheypushushigher,farther,andevenifofficiallytheystopbeingmiraclesinthesecondwhenwediscovertheirexplanation,theystillremainmiraclesinourhearts,becauseduetothemweexpandedourknowledge.Maybetherewillbenopeachtreegrowingfromthatpit.ButIdoknowthatinmychildsheart,thepeachtreerootedalreadyandTHATismoreimportantthananythingelse.

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://www.photospublicdomain.com/2012/03/10/peachpit/.

WednesdayponderingontimeOctober23rd,2013

IjustrealizedaminuteagothattodaywasWednesdayandIdidntwritemyponderinguptothismoment.Forvariousreasonsthedayflewbyme,andittookmeuntilnowtonoticethat.ForasecondIfeltashamed,butthenIadoptedaphilosophicattitudeandquotedtomyselfwhatYokoOnosaidatsomepoint:Timeisaconceptthathumanscreated.Whatistimeafterall?Whatisthisthingthatwefelttheneedtostructureinseconds,minutes,hours,days,months,years?Wecompareittosand,wesayitflows,anditdoesindeed,orsowefeel.Whatwecalltimeareactuallythechangesweseeintheworldaroundus.Butshouldthesechangesnotoccuranymore,wouldwestillperceivetheflowoftime?Wouldwestillfeeltheneedtocountit,asifcountingitwithwatchesofallsortswouldtripthesecondsandtheywouldfallprisonerstoourmodernclepsydrasandthuswedkeepthemforourselvesforever.Whatweactuallyfightisnottheflowoftime,butthechange.Thechangeofallthatweknow,includingourselves.Wefearchangesomuch,andweblamethisinventedconceptoftimeforourfear.Andthenanotherquestionpopsinsidemymind:ifwedidntfearchangesomuch,ifwedidntfearchangeatall,wouldthentimedie,becauseoflosingmeaning?Idontknow.Iwillprobablyneverknowandhonestly,IdontknowifIcare.Fornowmysandstillflows,andevenifItryeverydaytodamitforcertainreasons,itstillcreeps

throughmyfingerssometimesevenwithoutmenoticingit.

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://onlyhdwallpapers.com/tag/hourglass/

WednesdayponderingonignoranceOctober30th,2013

Thereisasaying,statingthatignoranceisbliss.Imsurethatthe18thcenturypoetThomasGrayhadnoideawhatsoeverthatthesweetlysarcasticendingwordsofhisOdeonaDistantProspectofEtonCollege(letsbeclearaboutitstoneitisirony,OK?)wouldcometosuchawideuseintime.Alesspoeticversionistheexpressionwhatyoudontknowcanthurtyouwhichistrue,atleastinacertainmeasure(testedthatmyself,andImsurethatallofyouhadatonemomentintimethetendencytosaythatitwouldhavebeenbetterifyouhadntknowsomerandomthing),butuptowhatpointdoesignoranceremainabliss,uptowhatpointwecanchoosetoremainunawareofallsortsofthings,isrelativelikealltheotherelementscomposingthislife.Ofcourse,wecouldalwaysadoptSocratessciomenihilscireIknowthatIknownothingandhideourchosenignorancebehindit,almostwithafeelingofstoicismandpride.Butisthattrulyananswer?Isittruethatwhatyoudontknowcanthurtyou?Actuallyitcan.Forinstance(pardonthedarkhumor:P)ifyoudontknowthatyourfoodispoisoned,itwilldomorethanjusthurtyouitcouldactuallykillyou.Somemaysaythatignoranceisblissbecausethestateoflackofknowledgeimplicateslessresponsibility,andinordertofightthistheorylegalprincipleswascoinedlikeignorantiajurisnonexcusat("ignoranceofthelawisnoexcuse")againstwhichwastheninventedtheplausible

deniabilityandsoonManyconnectionsweremade,likeignoranceparentingfearforinstanceButcanweaffordtochoosetobeignorantinthe21stcentury?Idontknow.Doyou?...Puttingasidetheramblingthinking,truthbetold,ignorancekills.Evenifnotphysically.Itkillsyourmindfirstofall,allowingittoemptyinadestructivemanner.Ofcourse,youmaychoosetolimityourknowledgeregardingonethingoranother.Butitsyourchoice,yourfreewill,yourriskthereforeitshouldbelimitedtoyouandyouonly.Andjusttoendthisatadifferentlevel,beforeGraywritinghisOde,SirFrancisBaconsaidsomethingveryimportant:"ipsascientiapotestasest"('knowledgeitselfispower').Knowledgemayhurtbutitwillneverhurtasmuchasignorance.

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://www.zazzle.com/if+ignorance+is+bliss+posters

WednesdayponderingongiftsNovember6th,2013

AcoupleofdaysagoIwentwithmyhusbandtohelpanoldladyfriendprepareherapartmentforrenovating.Aftermovingsomefurniturearoundthehouseandreadyingthespaceforthenextstep,wewantedtoleave.Theoldlady,however,didntwanttoletusgoawayuntilshegiftedmewithsomethingsofhers,includingseveralflowerpots,which,shesaid,wereanywaydeprivedofcare,sinceshedoesntactuallyliveinthatapartmentandonlycomesthereonceinawhile.Itookthoseflowerswithgladness,notnecessarilybecausetheyweregifts,butbecausetheyarepiecesoflifecomingfromapersonwhoselifeishurryingtowardsitsend.Theladyinquestionisabout65yearsoldandsuffersfrombonecancerinfinalstage,anddespitethat,anddespitetheevenworsesituationthatherownsonsuffersfrommultiplesclerosis,shestillfindswithinherselfthepowertonotonlysmile,buttoactuallylaughandenjoywhatisleftofherlife,andevenmakefunofthehorriblesicknesseatingheralive.WhileIwaspreparingthoseflowerpotstotakethemhome,Ihadasmallconversationwithher,andonethingthatshesaidremainedwithme,likeasecondgift:Thereissolittlethatweactuallyhaveinthisworld,nomatterhowmuchwepossess!Inhereyes,whenshesaidthat,IthoughtInoticedaglintofpain,butinthenextseconditwasgone,andshetoldmethatshewouldgivemealltherestoftheflowers,ifIwantedthem,andIhappilyaccepted.Astrangetoneofjoycrossedhervoicewhentalkingagain,asifshewassuddenlyrelievedfortheflowersfate,andsowe

establishedthatnexttimewegotothatapartmentwewouldtaketherestofthepotstoo.Thenweleft.Therearemanygiftsthatwereceiveinthislife.Manyobjects,manyproofsofourevanescentnature.Mostofthemgetlostalongtheway,andweforgetaboutthem,expectingothersinexchange.Thereare,however,irreplaceablegifts,like,forinstance,everysingledaythatweliveonthisearth.Donotletthatwastebecauseatnightfall,thedaywillhavepassedanywaybutitsuptoeachofustonotletitgoinvain.TheflowersthatItookfromherarenowinmyownhouse,makingfriendswithmyoldervegetaltenants,andIdontknowwhichgiftwasmoreimportanttheplants,whichsheturnedintoasuddenpieceofheritageforme,orthesplinterofherownlifeandwisdomthatshedecidedtosharewithme.Idoknowthoughthat,evenaftershewillbegone(nomatterwhenthatwillhappen)shewillstillbealiveformeineachofthoseflowers.

WednesdayponderingonartNovember13th,2013

Iwillnotgiveyouadefinitionofart.Thereareplentyofdictionariestodothat,andtheimportantthingaboutartisdefinitelynotitsdefinition.Whatisimportantaboutartisthepassioninwhichitfindsitsroots,theloveinvestedbytheartistinwhathe/shecreatesandtheadmirationofthoseobservingthefinaloutcome.Butartisntonlyaboutwhatcanbeobservedthroughthemeansofourfivesenses.Itsmorethanjustthat,anditadoptsadifferentshapeintheeyesofeachofus.Tome,forinstance,itslikeaspiral,beginningitsjourneyintherealmoffantasy,crossingthelineintoreality,thenmovingbackintothefantasyland,thistimenotalone,buthandinhandwiththeartist,andthenrepeatingthisroutetogetherwiththespectators.Toothersitcouldbesimilartosomethingelse.Butonethingiscertain:artisnotfiniteitcouldneverbe.Neitherisitsproduct.Weallknowatleastonepersoninvolvedinsomeartisticactivity.Infact,weALLhaveanartisticside,whichwecultivate,somemore,someless,becausesomeofusgladlyembracethissideofours,whileothersdeemittobeaproofofweakness.Tothissecondcategoryofpeople,Iwanttoremindyou,(randomchoice)aboutthefactthatonethingthesamurais(Iguesswecanallagreethatsamuraiweakness)usedtostudyinthepastwastheartofcalligraphy.Art(anyart)requiresstrength.Aboveall,thestrengthtoignoreyourselfandtoputtheresultbeyondyourdoubts.Andalsothestrengthtobethefirstbelieverintheline,nomatteriffollowedornotbysomeoneelse.I

know,thatsoundslikeareligion,andmaybeitisoneareligionintheserviceofamoodygod,sometimesexcruciatinglydemanding,othertimesignoringyou,butwhenitdecidestorewardyou,itdoessobyfillingyourheartwithatremendousjoyandsatisfaction.Thereisartinthetiniestofthingsthatwecanthinkabout,ifwedoitwithpassion.Andoneofthemostwonderfulartsofallonthisplanetisalsothemostcomplexandmysteriousone,requiringallthepassionitcanget.Itscalledliving.

Theimagerepresentsthekanjisymbolforart.

WednesdayponderingonwindmillsNovember20th,2013

Oneofthemostwonderfulpiecesofliterature,inmyhumbleopinion,isCervantesDonQuixotedelaMancha.AndoneofthereasonswhyIsaythis,isbecauseofthewindmillscene(duuuh,whatdidyouexpectwithaponderingtitleliketheoneabove?!).Idecidedtotalkaboutthistoday

becauseduringthepastfewdaysmanythingsaroundmeunfoldedunderthesignofthewindmilleventsspicedwithpointlessness,onapparentlyaimlesstrajectories.Andasitalwayshappensincaseslikethis,Ibegantodoubtmyreasonstokeepfightingforthem.Weallhavewindmillsofourown,againstwhichwedesperatelyfight,atleastaslongaswebelievethemtobeferociousgiantsafightcanbepleasantwhenwethinkwefightagainstaworthyadversary,forajustifiedreason.Butwhentheadversaryorthereasonorbothofthemprovetobeamockery,whatdoyoudo?Whathappenswhenwerealizethatwhatwehaveinfrontofusisnotsomethingthatwouldretaliateinaproperlyexpectableway?Whathappenswhentheproverbialwindmilltriesonetoomanytimesourpatience?DonQuixotebelievedinhiscausewithallhissoul,ignoringtherealityasperceivedbythosearoundhimandsimplyfollowedhisownvision.Maybeitsidiotic,orhilarious,orboth,thisloyaltytowardshisbeliefs.I,however,findittobewonderful,becauseitstrulyamarvelousthingtobeabletofocusonyourgoalsowellthatthepathwouldliein

frontofyousoclearlysimple.Fromthisperspective,DonQuixotewasTHEdreamer.Butasithappenswithalldreamers,wakingupfromhisidealisticdreamintotheinsipid,colorlessandinodorousrealityasseenandcreatedbythosearoundhim,provedtobeafatalact,becausehecouldntfindagainthepathtowardshisdream,andhegotstuckinthemudofamuchtooanemiclifethread.Suchachangeinthepointofviewisneverpleasant.AndImyselfconfesstohaveexperienceditmorethanjustonce.Itmademewanttogiveupondreams,andpeople,andsituations,andtoquestionmyreasonsforchoosingthatpathinthefirstplace.ButthenIrememberedPoesfamouslines

IsallthatweseeorseemButadreamwithinadream?

andwonderedif,afterall,itwouldbesuchabadthingforonetoclosehiseyesandsimplypretendthatthegiantwasstillinfrontofhim,ifthatiswhatitwouldtakeforagoaltobeachieved.Andthenithitme:thewindmillnevermatteredanyway:whattrulymattered,bothinDonQuixotescaseandinmineandinanyoneelses,wasthedream.Thegoal.Youmayhavetofaceferociousgiantsorstubbornpatienceeatingwindmillsinyourpath,butifyouhaveenoughfaithinyourgoal,thosewillneverstandinyourwayfortoolong.Andwhenyoullreachyourdream,youllseethattheirpurposewasmerelytheoneofmakingyoustronger.Theimagewastakenfromhttp://thelordofexcess.blogspot.ro/2011/06/windmillsofwargaminginnorthernutah.htmlcopyrightFabricioMoraes,02June2007

WednesdayponderingonsticksandstonesNovember27th,2013

AminuteagoIbumpedintoalinkthatmademesmile,althoughthesmilecarriedahugeloadofsadness.Youcanseeitherehttp://www.viralnova.com/protectivebikers/.ThearticleisabouttheBikersAgainstChildAbuseInternational.Briefly,ittalksaboutalargenumberofbikerswhohavemadeittheirownbusinesstoprotectchildrenagainstthosewhoabusetheminanyway.TheirmottoisquiteawonderfuloneNochilddeservestoliveinfear.andwhenreadingit,Irealizedthatactuallynobeingatall,notjustchildren,shouldliveinfear.ThisconnectedtothefactthatjusttheotherdayIhappenedtowatchavideorelatedtoacampaignagainstdomesticviolence,andsomehow,despitetodaysmorningbeingaverypeacefuloneforme(ormaybepreciselybecauseofthat)IknewthattodayIshouldponderontheviolenceappliedtoanybeingatall.Startingwith

SticksandstonesmaybreakmybonesButnameswillneverhurtme

Nottrue.Anamecanhurtjustasbadlyasaphysicalhit.Besides,violencedoesnthavetobeloud.Doesnthavetobeoften.Onceisalreadytoomuchwhenitcomestothistopic.Andeventhetiniestwhisperloadedwithviolenceismuchlouderthantheloudestscreamofjoy.Becauseviolenceispaincumulatedpain.Thepainofthevictim,thepainoftheaggressor(ohyes,theaggressorhasitsownshareofpain,evenifinatwistedway),thepainofthedirectorindirectwitnessesDonotmakethemistake,mydearreader,tobelievethatviolenceneedstobephysicalin

ordertoinflictpaintherearewordsthatcancutdeeperthanthesharpestknifeandtherearehissesthatslashyourheartandmakeitbleed.Therearegazesthatareabletofreezetheairinyourlungsandbacksthatseemtobringtheendoftheworldwhentheyareturnedtoyou.Thewhybehindtheviolenceisirrelevant.Scientistshavestriventounderstandthefactsthattriggerviolentattitudesamongpeople,andhaveclassifiedthem,dissectedthem,attemptedtoexplainorjustifythem,butbeyondallthatonethingremainsthemostimportantofall:violenceSHOULDNOToccuratall,undernopossibleform.Notagainstchildren,notagainstotherpeople,notagainstanyotherbeing.Nothingjustifiesitshappening,notevenrevengeandhereIcandelightfullyquoteMahatmaGandhi:Aneyeforaneyewillonlymakethewholeworldblind.Andasapersonalobservationtothat,IdoubtthatthisUniversewouldappointageneralophthalmologistforsuchadegenerateraceasours

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://carolcassara.com/2011/06/letsendsportsfanviolence.html

WednesdayponderingonwordsDecember4th,2013

Ididsomesortofanexercisetoday,inordertowritemy(bynow)traditionalWednesdaypondering.Iaskedafriendofminetotellmeaword,aroundwhichIintendedtoweavemyownthoughts,butwithouttellingherwhatIwasgoingtodo.Andherwordwasword.SohereIamnow,ponderingonwords.Theyconstituteaveryimportantpartofourexistence.Soimportantthatinmanyreligionstheyaretheveryrootoflife,oftheuniverseitself.Butwhataretheytruly?Whatistheiressence?Beyondmerelylabelingbeingsandthings,whatistheirtruenature?Wesayawordwhatenergydoesitcontain?Andquestionscouldcontinuetoflowadinfinitum,aswebowourthoughtsbeneaththeweightofwhatotherthanwordsagain.Thisisaverytrickytopic,words.Becauseitsveryample,andimpossibletocontaininsuchashortpostasthisone,andbecauselanguageisinaconstantevolution,inapermanentchange.Justlikeariver.Justlikethewayweare.Whatisinterestingthoughisthat,althoughononesideweclaimtobewordsheirs,wedontalwaystreatthemwiththeproperrespect(kindofacommonthingactuallynowadays,kidsdisrespectingtheirelders)andwetendtoignoretheirmeanings,theirenergycharge,theirpotential,theireffects,andsoon.Weoftenusethemshallowly,flauntingourmisunderstandingoftheirroleinthisworldasifitweresomebadgeofhonor.Somewouldsaythatwordsarenottobeplayedwith.Ithinktheyare,because,frommypointofview,weareclosertothelevelofhomoludensthantotheoneofhomosapiens.Wearestillchildren,and

childrenlearnbyplaying.Theprobleminplayingwithwordsisnottheactionitself,buttheintentionbehindit.Whichis,again,expressedinwords,andwhichoftenisfarfromchildish.Anotherinterestingthingaboutwordsisthatevenwhenwetreatthemwithrespecttheyremainclosedtous,orbedintheirprehumanorhumanitygeneratingessence.Inthismatter,IllmentionhereKabalaandthefactthat,evenafterallthesehundredsofyearsoflearninganddissectingandanalyzing,thethingthatisthelanguageisstilltoohighadimensionforourstillundevelopedconscience.Anyway,mypointisthatmaybepayingalittlemoreattentiontothespheresofenergyattractiongeneratedbyeachwordthatwespeakwoulddowellforourselves.Andforothers.Andforthewordsthemselves.Afterall,werefamily,arentwe?ThinkaboutMasaruEmotoandhisexperimentswiththeeffectsofwordsonwater.Now,ifyouweretoputalabelonyourbeing,whichonewoulditbeandhowwoulditaffectthewaterentwiningtheclayofyourbody?

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://angelicinsights.blogspot.ro

WednesdayponderingongivingDecember11th,2013

Mykidshadasmallfestivityatkindergarten.Theysangsongs,andrecitedpoems,andthenSantaClauscameandgavegiftstoallofthemoverallitwasnice.Andobviously

crowded,becauseforeachofthekidsinthefestivity,therewasatleastoneadultinthepublicinfrontofthem,admiringthemandcheeringthemanddoingwhateveradultsdowhenattendingtheirchildrensfestivities.Afterweleft,whenwegotbackhomeandthekidsopenedtheirpresentsandbegantoplay,IcouldnthelpthinkingaboutthechildrenofthisworldwhoseChristmasgiftmaynotbebigenoughastocontainmorethansomefruit,letalonetoysorotherthings.Andthatssad,because,aboveall,Christmasisatimeofgiving.NotbecauseofSantaClaus,butbecauseofitsoriginalmeanings.GobeyondthebirthofChrist,whichwasagiftinitself,giventotheworld(yes,IknowthataccordingtosomenewcalculationsChristwasactuallyborninspring,butitsthesymbolImtalkingabouthere),gobacktothosetimesofyore,whentheonlythingcelebratedduringthisperiodoftheyearwasthewintersolsticethejoythat,afterslowlyshorteningitsgiftofdailylightforsixmonths,thesunwasbeginningtoturnthewheelaroundanddayswerestartingtogrowagain.Thiswasthegiftpeoplegotbackthenlight.Morelight.Which,

cometothinkaboutit,issuchanawesomeandpricelessgift!Anyway,thepointofthisponderingwasthatofremindingyouallthat,evenifIdontbelievethatgivingshouldbetheappanageofChristmastimealonebutawayoflife,Idobelievethatthisisagoodtimetorememberaboutallthegiftsthatwehaveeverbeengiven,nomatterbywhom,andtotryandimaginehowourliveswouldhavebeenhadwenotreceivedthose.Startingwiththegiftoflifefromourparents,andtothegiftofblessingsfromourchildren.Andifyoucan,ifyouhavethemeans,helpthoseinneedbyfillingtheirChristmastimewithalittlemorelight.Youdonthavetogivehugegiftsthesimplefactthatsomeonethoughtaboutthemandgavethemanythingatallwillbemorethanwhattheywouldexpect.Andtheirjoywhenreceivingyourpresentwillbeapricelessgiftyougiveyourselves.Theimagewastakenfromhttp://morguefile.com/archive#/?q=present&sort=pop&photo_lib=morgueFile

WednesdayponderingonapplesDecember18th,2013

LastnightIwokeupforafewsecondsandIsaidtomyselftomorrowsponderingmustbeaboutapples.ThenIfellasleepagain,andIhavenoideawhythisponderingwassupposedtobeaboutthattopic.ButsinceIlearnedtotrustmyinstinct(evenwhenImsleeping)hereI

amnow,talkingaboutthis,inadifferentmannerthantheusual:Thefruitoffall,asmanynameitso,nomatterifitsyellow,greenorred,ifsweetorsourish,smallorbig,yallknowthatmanytalesaboutithavebeensaid.ForbiddenintheEdensgarden,cravedbyEveandAdam,causingtheirdecay,theapplesnamehasbeensincethenengravedinmythslikesomeinsidiousclich.WefinditintheHesperidestree,andduetoonetheTrojanwarwasstirred;swiftAtalantalostherselfforthree,whileSnowWhite,WilhelmTellandotherserred.ItfellonNewtonshead(again,thefall)andnowadaysJobsapplerulesthemall.

Andthat,mydears,wouldbeaVERYbriefandsupposedlyfunnylookthroughtheappleshistory:).Theimagewastakenfromhttp://morguefile.com/archive#/?q=apple&sort=pop&photo_lib=morgueFile

WednesdayponderingonChristmasDecember25th,2013

Dontletthetitlefoolyoufortworeasons.Firstisthatthisponderingofmineisscheduled.ItmeansthatIwroteitinadvanceandtoldwordpresstoblogitformeataspecificmoment.Normally,assomeofyouknow,IwritemyWednesdayponderingsonWednesday(thencethename,obviously:P)andaboutsomethingrelatedtothatdayinparticular,butwhenIrealizedthatIwouldntbeathomeornearaninternetconnectiontodothisIdecidedtowriteittodaySaturday,December21,2013.Second,becausetheWednesdayincauseisthatofChristmasandIimaginethatfewofyouwillactuallyreadthispost,sinceonadaylikethatyoushouldactuallyenjoyyourtimewithyourfamilies.SoIwillnotwriteaboutChristmas,mainlybecauseitisnttoday(asintoday,whenImactuallywritingthistext)andalsobecauseeverybodywritesaboutChristmasthesedays.AndifIcannotrespectthefirstofmyponderingruleswritetheWednesdayponderingonWednesdaysIllrespectthesecondonewriteaboutwhathappensinthedaywhenyourewriting.Itsratherearlynow,whileImwritingthisandtheonlycompanyIhaveatthistimeisthatofmydog,Bella,whoconstantlypushesmewithhernose,insearchformyhand.AndwhileIcaressher,andlookather,Icannothelpseeingtheneedforloveinhereyes.Shesamemberofourfamilyforabouttenyearsnow(whichisalotoftimeforadog)andeverybodylovesher.Somewouldsayshesbeenlucky.

Andthethoughtthatpopsinmymindnowiswhydoanimalsneedtobeluckyinorderforpeopletolovethem?Whatdidanimals(ingeneral)everdowronginordertodeservetheharshtreatmentgiventothembycertainrepresentativesofthehumanspecies(otherwisenothingelsethansomesupposedlyevolvedmammals)?Thinkaboutthestraydogsorcats,theexperimentsonmiceandmonkeysandotheranimals,thecruelhuntingpartiesmenacingwithextinctioncertainspecies,andthelistcouldgoon.IwasaskingmyselfatsomepointintimewhatisthepurposeoffliesIhonestlycantstandthem,andImsurethatmostofyoucansaythesameandafriendofminetoldmethattheysimplyarefoodforbirds,anditsgoodthattheyexist,becauseotherwisethebirdswouldhavetofindfoodfromothersources,andwhoknowswhatthosewouldbe?!Hisanswerleftmethinking.Wealreadyknowthat,shouldbeesbeextinct,everybody,butEVERYBODYonthefaceoftheplanetwouldhavetosuffer,thataffectedwouldbetheecosystem.Thefactthatwehaventyetfoundoutthehiddenpurposeofsomeanimal,insectorplantdoesntmeanthatithasnone.ItsimplymeansthatourunderstandingisstillVERYlimited.Andthatshouldmakeuscautious,careful,wheninteractingwithallthelifeformsonourplanet.Andfirstofallwiththeplanetitselfthebiggestlivingorganismwithwhichweeverinteracteddirectly.Ioncebumpedintoahighlycaustictextwhichstatedthatshouldanyanimalspeciesgoextinct,sowouldtherestoflifeonearth,butshouldhumankindgoextinct,lifeonthisplanetwouldflourish.Now,IliketothinkthatwerenotTHATindispensableonthisplanetsuchthoughtwouldbetoopainful.Butwhatifweare?Thisacidpoisonofthe

whatifshouldmakeusallstopforasecondfromwhatweredoingandponder.Maybethenwedrealizethatitisntthedogthatisluckyforhavinglivedwithusfortenyears,butwearetheluckyones,havinghadfortenyearssuchaloyalandlovingfriend.Wearetheluckyonestohavebeenbornonaplanetwithsomuchpotential,aplaceofsuchanindescribablebeauty.WearetheluckyonestobenefitfromalltheresourcesofthissplendidparentwecallMotherEarth.Andweshouldallbethankfulforthat.Ithinkitsnotthatbad,toseeyourluckintheeyesofalovingdog,onaSaturdaymorning:).MerryChristmastoallofyou!

Theimageisthatofmydog,Bella,anditwastakensomeyearsagobyaverydearfriendofmine,Mihai:).

BelatedWednesdayponderingonguiltJanuary2nd,2014

Iknow,itsnotthemerriestoftopicstoponderonanewyearsfirstday.Tobrieflyexplainmyreasonsfortalkingaboutthistoday,IdhavetosharewithyoufirstthefactthatIstartedmyyearinasadwayoneofmydogs,Nero,gotscaredbecauseofallthefireworksandcrackersandbangersandranfrommyyard.Isearchedforhimwithmyhusbandallaroundtheplaceandcouldntfindhim.SoIcried,andguiltblossomedinmelikethemostfertileweed,reachingquicklywithinthefarthestcornersofmyheart.IfeltguiltybecauseIfeltthatIfailedtotakecareproperlyofmyfriend,Ifailedtosoothehisfearswhenheneededitmostly.IfeltguiltybecauseallIcouldthinkaboutwashimrunningscaredandconfusedandnotunderstandingwhypeoplehavetomakesomuchnoiseallofasudden.IfeltguiltybecauseIdidntanticipatesuchaleveloffearandbecauseIwasnttherewhenitallhappened.Andnomatter

howmuchIsearchedforhim,notbeingabletofindhimatetheheartoutofme.LastnightIwokeupfeelingcold,andIthoughtthatawindowmusthaveremainedopenthroughthenight.Infactthefrontdoorwasopened,andNerowassleepingthere,nearthedoor,inthehallway.WhenIsawhimIrushedtowardshim,wantingtotakehiminmyarms,butfirsthepulledback,asiffeelingashamedandscared,andIrealizedthat,inhisanimalinnocence,hethoughtthathewasgoingtobepunishedforfleeingthewaythathedid.AndIfeltawful,becauseitwasneverhisfaultinthisentiresituation.Thisstoryfortunatelyhadahappyending.Butguiltleftitsfootprintsallovermyheart,andalthoughitisntapleasantthing,Ithinkitproveditselftobeuseful,bymakingmemoreawareofcertainaspectsoflife.Guiltcanbeanawkwardfeeling.Sometimesitseffectsareconstructive,othertimestheysimplydestroyallintheirpath.Theysaythatwoundsheal,butscarsremain.Theyareremindersofwhathappened,oftheeventthattriggeredtheappearanceofthatscar.Itisonlyuptoustolearnfromthatandtotrytoavoiditshappeningagain.Theimageisthatofmydog,Nero,anditwastakeninAugust2013byanotherverydearfriendofmine,Raluca:).

WednesdayponderingonwhisperingJanuary8th,2014

Icanthelpnoticingmoreandmoreeventswhichnamesincludethewordscreamwomenscreamagainstsomething,worldscreamagainstanotherthing,someminorityscreamingagainstsomemajority,andsoon.Howdiditcometothis?Howdiditcometothefactthatpeoplearescreamingtobeheard,butearsdontwanttohearthem?Whendidthe

humanconsciencedevelopsuchahugeresistancetothehumanvoice?Ortoanyvoiceatall?Theresaverynastypartaboutthescreamingthingandthatisthefactthat,normally,onehastoscreamlouderthansomeoneelseinordertocoverthatsomeonesvoice.Andifyouhavetwopeoplescreamingateachother,everlouder,youcanonlyimaginehowquicklythatcanescalateintoaconstantyelling,andhowpainfultheresultcanbefortheanatomyoftheonesinvolved.Notjustfortheirears(anywayenduringtheincreasingdecibels)butfortheirentirebeings.Andevenifnotbothpersonsscream,evenifonlyonedoesthat,theeffectisstillpainful,forbothofthem.Imean,didyoueverscreamwithangeratsomeone?Didyoufeeltheenergyunleashed,snappingagainstmatter?

Icanunderstandwhycertaingroupswouldusethisword,scream,symbolically,inordertoattractthepublicsattentionontheirmessage.ButthenIwonder,wouldntitbemoreeffectivetowhisper?True,whensomeonewhisperssomethingyoumaynothearitatfirst.Butiftheykeepwhispering,youwillinvoluntarilyshutup,inordertobeabletohearwhattheyhavetosay.Andthemessagemightactuallyhaveachancewhenallaresilentandlistening.Theimagewastakenfrommorguefile.com.

WednesdayponderingonseasandbicyclesandwhiskeyJanuary15th,2014

Youcantcrosstheseamerelybystandingandstaringatthewater.ThesewordsbelongtoRabindranathTagore,andtheycametomymindwhileIwasactuallylookingatanoverwaterbridgethatiscurrentlybeingconsolidatedintheareawhereIlive.Ilookedatthebridgethisearlymorning,seeingitforwhatitisaconnectionbetweenthetwoshoresoftheriver,meanttoeasepeoplesaccessfromonesidetotheother.AndthenIrealizedthattheimportantaspectofTagoresquotewasnotwhatwassaidinit,butwhatitimplied:theideaofmoving,ofdoingsomething.Theideaofnotwaitingforthingstocometoyou,butoftryingtoreachthosethingssomehow,whetherbybuildingbridgestowardsthem,orbygettingaroundtheobstructions.

Manlearnedtocrossseasandmountainsbecauseofhisneedforexploring,formoving,fortryingtoobtainthebetter.Upuntilnow,evolutionwasnotdoneonlybystayingstillandadmiringthecircumstancesalthough,ifsittingstillmeanslearningandevaluatingtheprosandconsofanaction,itis

alsocalledmoving,inmyopinion.Seas,waters,obstacles,arealwaysinourpaths.Sometimesweseethemfromadistance,thushavingtimetoprepareforthem,othertimeswewakeuprightinfrontofthem,andwehavetomakeadecision.Andmostofthetimethedecisionimpliesmovingeithertowardsourgoal,orawayfromit.Sittingthereandnotdoinganythingaboutit,althoughavalidchoice,istheworst,becauseyouwillinglyconfineyourselfintoadeadend.Andlifeisnotoratleastitshouldnotbeaboutdeadends.Lifeislikeridingabicycle.Tokeepyourbalanceyoumustkeepmoving.TheonewhosaidthatwasEinsteinandthemainwordinthatquoteisthelastone,becausenomatterwhathappensatacertainpointintime,inaspecificplace,nomatterhowbigthepain,thehorror,thejoyorwhatevertheexperiencedfeeling,time,aswe,humans,perceiveit,continuestoflow.Thingschange.Lifegoesonwithorwithoutus.Andrelatedtothat,IllendmytodaysponderingwithoneoftheshortestquotesthatapplyhereJohnnyWalkersKeepwalking.

WednesdayponderingonphysicsappliedJanuary22nd,2014

Peoplecomplainaboutmanythingsaroundmelately.Hell,evenIcomplainaboutmanythingsmoreoftenthanIwouldliketoadmit.AndtodaytheFacebookstatusofoneofmyfriendsslappedmyneuronsbigtime:wespendmoreenergytryingtoconvinceourselvesthatithastobelikethisinsteadof

spendingitinordertosimplygetwherewereallywanttobe.Thefirstwordthatpoppedinsidemymindwasinertia.AndthenIstartedthinking(yeah,Idothattoofromtimetotime:P)thatinertiaisrelated(orsophysicsteachesus)totheobjectsmass.Infact,accordingtoWikipedia,Inertiaisoneoftheprimarymanifestationsofmass.So,ifourstateofmindhasinertia,itsimplyHAStohaveamass.Thebiggertheinertia,thebiggerthemassandviceversa.Directproportionality(abitofmathneverhurts:P).So,themoreenergywewasteonthinkingaboutwhatwedontlike,themorewewontlikeit.Now,ifathinghasmass,thenmostcertainlyithasaweight,translatedforinstanceintothegravitywithwhichitisattractedbytheearth.AndifIalsoaddthelawsofattractionhere,wecanmentiontheforcewithwhichitisattractedbyourselves.And,again,directproportionalitythebiggerthemass,thebiggertheforce.Themorewedontlikethings,themorethiswillbotherus.

Nowtakeaminutetoimaginethatourstateofmind,filledwithproblemsandangerandsadness,isaboulder.ApplyingwhatIsaidabove,thedarnboulderkeepsgrowing,fueledbyourowndiscontentment.Andgrowing.ANDGROWING.Obviously,itsmassgrowstoo.Anditsweight.Andwecontinuetocarryit.Untilwefeelsuffocatedbyitandourbodyhurtssobadlythatwestarttocomplainevenmorebutwedontputtheboulderdown.No,really.Whywouldwe?!Imean,itfeelssomuchbettertowasteallthatamountofenergyontorturingourselveslikesomeselfdesignatedSisyphusescarryingourboulders,insteadofsimplyputtingthedamnthingdownandmoving!Afterall,ifwedidntclingtothatoriginalsourceofdiscontentmentwithsuchstrength,noneofthiswouldbeheretheboulder,thepain,themisery,thecomplaintsetc.Andwedbehappy,andwedbewhereweactuallywantedtobe.Sohonestly,whygiveuponoursourceofunhappiness?!Afterall,itssotrendytocomplain!Andhappinesssooverrated!Puttingasidethesarcasm,IthinkImputtingmymindonanenergysavingdietinthetimetocome.Itscheapertosimplygodirectlyforwhatyouwantandlike:).P.S.Feelfreetogoogleforallthephysicsrelatedinfo.Itwillbelessenergyconsumingthanyourconstantcomplainingaboutthethingsthatyoudontlike:).P.P.S.Yeah,Iknowaboutthephrasestatingthatenergyisconserved.Imnotsayingitisnt.Imonlysayingthatyouyourselvescouldhelpconservingit;).TheimagerepresentsaphotographicreproductionofTitianspaintingSisyphus,astakenbythePradoMuseuminMadrid.

WednesdayponderingonfearJanuary29th,2014

Youwillwonder,dearfriends,whatreasonIhadtochoosethistopic.Well,briefly,IdecidedtotalkaboutthistodaysinceonlyacoupleofdaysagoIwasdiscussingwithafriendabouttwoexperiencesofhers,bothrelatedtofear,buteachtoadifferentsortofit.Inonesituationshewasafraidofsomeone,intheothersituationshewasafraidofherself.AndItoldmyselfSure,whynot?Fearcanbejustagoodatopicasanyother.Whatisfear?Whatscaresus,andwhy?No,Iwontgiveyouthedefinitionaccordingtosomedictionaryofpsychology.Illtrytodefineitmyself.Becausefearisindividual,itsrelatedSTRICTLYtowhatwemightloseinacertainsituation.Fearistheanswerofourbeingwhenfacingthepossibilitytolosesomething.Orsomeone.Howitmanifests?Oh,Imsureyouallknowthis,soIwontgointothesedetails:).WhatIwanttoemphasizethoughisthatfearisthefirstproofofattachment.Nomatterthetypeofattachment.Fearimplies,byitsexistence,thefactthatwecareaboutthatthingorthatpersonwhichwemightlose.Butgoingbacktothebeginning,myfriendwassayingthatshewasafraidofsomeoneinonecase,andofherselfintheother.Andherecomesthequestion:whendowefacethesituationofbeingafraidofourselves?Whywouldweevenbeafraidofourselves?Mostofyouprobablydontthinkaboutitthiswaybutletsfaceit:whenareweactuallyNOTafraidofourselves?Evenwhenweblamesomeoneelsefor

triggeringthisreactioninourbodyandheart,weactuallyfearourownreaction.Whenwefearthatsomethingwillbetakenawayfromus,wefearthatwewontbeabletodefendteethandclawsthethingthatwelove.Andwhenwefearanexamwefearthatwewontrisetowhateverlevelofintelligenceisexpectedfromus,orthatwellbelabeledasfailures.Andsoon.Wejusthavetounderstandthatitisallreducedtobeingafraidtobeourselves.Andwhenwefinallychoosetobeourselves,weareafraidwewonthavethestrengthtosticktoourbeliefs,orthatwellletothersdown.Darlings,theonlypersonwhomyoumustneverletdownisyourselves!Nomatterthesituation,nomatterthepotentialloss,nomatterthethreat,itsustowhomweanswerinthefirstplace.Andrememberthis:

TheimagewasfoundbyGooglesearch.

WednesdayponderingonlearningFebruary5th,2014

IwasinstallingsomethingonmycomputerthismorningandIsmiledwhenIrememberedthat,priortomeetingmyhusband,computerswereformesomethingthatIbarelytouched,usingtheoneinmyhousebackthenonlytowritesomepaperworkforuniversityfromtimetotime(yeah,thatwasadifferentage,weusedhandwritingmoreoften:PIstilluseitprobablymorethanhalfofyou,dearreaders,althoughIdiscoveredalsothatMicrosoftOfficeisquiteafriendlyapplication:)).Anyway,whatImtryingtosayisthataftermeetingmyhusbandIevolveduptothepointwhereImnotonlycapabletousethecurrentsystem,butImabletoassembleonefrompieces,installthesoftware(startingwiththeOS)andwhateverotherprogramsIneed,anddomanyotherthingswithit.Inotherwords,Ilearned.WhichissomethingthatweALLdo,allourlives,voluntarilyorinvoluntarilywelearninordertoadapttothecircumstancespresentedtousbylife.SomesaythatweareabletolearnevenpriortobeingbornfromourmotherswombsIdontknowaboutthat,butforsureweareabletolearnstartingwiththemomentwhenweareborn,andwecontinuetolearnuntilthedaywedie.Thereasonswhywelearnareobvious.Thereasonswhywedontlearncanalsobeobvious,butneitheronesnortheothersmakemytopicfortoday.InsteadIamgoingtomentionadiscussionthatIhadwithafriendonlyacoupleofdaysago,inwhichhe(myfriend),who,coincidentally,isgoingtobeaprofessor,wastellingmethatifImnotableto

teachsomeoneacertainthing,maybeitsbecauseofthemethodthatImapplying.Iwastemptedtorejecttheidea,formanyreasons(prideamongthem),butfortunatelyformeIwassmartenoughinthatmomenttosimplyshutup,tolistentowhathewassayingandtochewonhiswordslaterthatnight.AndthenIrealizedthathewasprettymuchtellingmewhatIalwaysstatedthatpriortoteachsomeoneWHATtolearn,youhavetoteachthemHOWtolearn.IgnacioEstradasaidthatIfachildcantlearnthewayWEteach,maybeweshouldteachthewayTHEYlearn.Thefinalgoalisnotforourownteachingtoimposeitselfuntothemindofabeing,butforthatbeingtolearnsomethingfromourteaching.

WhatmyfriendmaynothaverealizedatthatpointwasthelessonthatImyselfhadtolearnthateveningandthatisthatthehardesttolearniswhenyouthinkyoualreadyknowwhatyoure

learning.ButasJohnCottonDanasaid,Hewhodarestoteachmustneverceasetolearn.AndImyselffeelluckytohaverememberedsuchabeautifullessonoflifeandaboveall,luckytohavefriendstoteachittomeagain:).

Theimagewastakenfromhttp://quotespictures.com/whodarestoteachmustneverceasetolearneducationquote/

WednesdayponderingonloveFebruary12th,2014

InonlyacoupleofdaysalltherealandvirtualenvironmentwillbesubjecttocelebratingSt.ValentinesDayandIlladmitthatuptoapointthisiscute,althoughImprettysurethattrueloversdontneedaparticulardaytorememberhowluckytheyaretohavetheirfeelingsshared,andtoexpresstheirloveandgratitudefortheirpair.IknowthatFebruary14thwillbeareasonformanytoadoptapinkattitudeandfloodthevirtualsurroundingswithbubblingheartsandemoticonsandsongsandalmostmeaninglesswords,evenifwhattheyactuallydoishidebehindamask,togetherwithalltheirsadnessandpessimismandloneliness,fakinginfrontoftheirownconsciencethehopethattheywill,oneday,findtruelove(phew,thatwasonelongphrase:P).Butfearnot,oh,yeunfortunateones!ImsurethatCupidhassomearrowsforyoutooinhisquiver.Andwhoknows,maybethenextcelebrationwillfindyouactuallybelongingtoacouple.Yes,Imbeingsarcastic.Andyes,feelfreetodeemmetheGrinchofValentinesDay:P.Thefunnypartthoughisthatactually,thisparticularmomentonlyreferstothecelebrationofloverspeople(nomattertheirgender,colourofskin,religiousviewsetc.)whofound(orsotheythink)someonewithwhomtosharetheirheartsandsouls.Notofloveinitsentirety.Andnomatterhowbeautifulpeopleconsidertobethatsplendidinfectionofthesoulthatwecallromanticlove,intimethewordsIloveyoubegantolosetheirmeaning.Tooeasilynowadayswelookintotheeyesofsomeoneandsay

thosewords,onlytodenythemalittlewhilelater.Andthewordstaketheirvengeance,bybeingshallowerandshallower,likethecopyofacopyofacopy.Byatwistedfate,sodoourfeelings.Frommypointofview,ValentinesDaybecametoomuchaboutcommercialimagesandpointlesslyamplifiedsymbols,likeadesperateattemptofdiggingfortheoriginalmeaningofthiscelebration.Wegiveflowersandchocolatesandexpensivegiftsandsooninordertocompensateforwhatweknowitshouldbetherebutisnt.Anditssad,becausejustlikemanyothercelebrations,itstoomuchaboutthematerialgiftsandtoolittleaboutthespiritualones.SoOK,feelfreetostreamtheredheartflag,andtoactallmushyandsweetbutpleasedothiswithhonesty!DontjustactlikepeopleinloveBEpeopleinlove!

Theimagewastakenfromwww.morguefile.com

Wednesdayponderingonvineleaves,figleavesandinappropriatecontents

February19th,2014YoudthinkthatafterAdamandEvediscoveredtheconceptoffashionandworethefirstevertailoredvineleavescostumes,andthatafterQueenVictoriasshockwhenseeingthenakedjewelryofMichelangelosDavidresultedinafigleafplastercastappliedovertheoh!soshamefulareaofthebodyofthatstatue,humanitywouldslowlymatureuptothepointofnotfeelingashamedanymoreabouttheanatomicstructureofthehumanbody.Especiallywhentreatedasapieceofart.However,awhileagoafriendofmine(forgivemeMihai,fornottakingstandbackthen)hadhisaccountbannedonFacebookbecausehepostedphotographsofnudepeople.Notjustanyphotos,butartisticones,andsomeofthemmorethanbeautiful.Also,someofthembelongingtosomewidelyknownphotographers.Thereason?Inappropriatecontent.IncidentallyIhadatalktodaywithoneofmyfriendsabouthowhypocriticalistheattitudeofcertainpeopleforwhompaintednudityisartbutphotographednudityisporn.AndsoIdecidedthatmytopicfortodaywouldbethisexcessivevisualpruderyfromwhichtoomanypeopleseemtosuffer.Wheredowedrawthelinebetweenartandporn?Dowesaythatanudeisartifweareabletolookatitinadetachedmanner?Doesitbecomeanindecentdisplayifitarousesourimaginationsimplybyseeingit?Andaboveall,howdoesitmatterifthenudewerelookingatwaspainted

orphotographed?!Wasnttherestillahumanmodelbehindtheoutcomeinfrontofoureyes?Ahumanbody?Tellme,please,whendidthehumanbodybecomeindecentlyexposedifnaked?Howdidwecometomakesuchdifferenceslikeifyouseeapersoninunderwearhe/sheshouldfeelashamed,butifyouseethesamepersononthebeachinabathingsuit(sometimestoplessinthecaseofwomen,orevennude)thatsniceandsexy?Imnotsayingthatweshouldwalknakedinthemiddleofthestreetallthetime,butwhydoweactsoshockedwhenweseesomeonewearingclosetonothing?!Afterall,itsnotlikethepersonincausewouldpossessomeotherbodypartsthanusandeveniftheydid,itwouldstillbesimplyanatomy.Butthenagain,Iguessitisinappropriatecontentalsototalkaboutsuchmatters.However,allowmearatherblasphemousendingnote:wouldntyousaythatGodhadhisslightdoseofvoyeurismwhencreatingAdamandEvenakedinthegardenofEden?!:P

Theimagewastakenfromwww.morguefile.com

WednesdayponderingonplayingFebruary26th,2014

Mychildrenstayedathomefortwodaysinarowbecausetheywerecoughingandtheirnoseswererunning,soIdidnttakethemtokindergarten.Andwhatbetterthingforthemtodothanplay?OneoftheirfavoritegamesisanXboxcarracething.Andwhilemyeldersonplaysaracefromtimetotime,myyoungersonprovestobeawfullyattractedbythisgame,andtakinghimawayfromtheconsolebecomesmoreandmoredifficultwithtime.Toputitstraight,heisfrighteninglyaddictedtoit,uptothepointofstartingtocrywhenItoldhimtopauseitandtocometolunch.Anduponseeinghisreaction,Ibecamescared,becauseIsuddenlyrealizedhowlittleittakesforsomeonetolosetheirsenseofreality.Itsnotnormal.Itsnotright.Iveseensimilarreactionsinadults,whensomeonetriestopreventthemfromplayingtheirfavoritegame,anditsevenworse.Manypeoplethinkthatplayinggamesisamatterrelatedtochildhood,butthenagainhowmanyofusspendtimeplayingseriousgamesoradultgamesorsocietygames,simplyforhavingfun?Letsjustadmitit,weallplayagameoranother,nomatterifitsaphysicalgameoramentalone,andweallliketowininthatgame.Normallyitsaboutrecreationalstuff,meanttotakeourmindsoffthedailyproblems,meanttorelaxus,butdiditeverhappentoyoutolookatagameinamuchtooseriousmanner?Toletitinyourbloodmaybeabittoomuchcomparedtohowyoushould?

Thequestioniswhatdoesagame(whateverthatmaybe)providetheplayerwith,inordertotriggersuchanaddiction?Whatsortofsatisfaction?Whatbuttonsdoesittouchinsideusthatmakeuswantmoreandmoreofit?Unfortunately,Idontthinkthereisaparticularanswertothatquestion.Biologicallyspeaking,itallcomesdowntoahormonalreleaseinourblood.Psychologicallythough,itsaboutmuchmore.Anditsdifferentinthecaseofeachgameandeachplayer.Besides,theproblemisneverthegameitself.Theproblemisthetoyswithwhichyouplayit.Thestakethatyouputonthetable.Thethrillyoufeelisoftenthebiggerthemoreyouthinkyoucouldlosebutdont.Whatwedontrealizeisthatthemainstakeinallsituationsisourselves.Allthefeelingsinvolved,alltherelationshipstouchedbywhatwedo,onewayoranother,allthetimeandeventuallymoney,arerelatedtous.Games,asamethodofhavingfunandlearninganddevelopingnewskillscanbeabeautifultool.Butgamesthatareplayedonlyforthesakeofthethrillaredangerousfrommypointofviewatleast.Becausethethrillistemporary,andusuallyitsneverenough.Andevenifwesaythatwecanquitwheneverwewant,weonlyquitwhenwecometothepartwherewehurtothersandlosesomethingorsomeone.Thatswhenthegameisntaboutplayinganymoreanditstopsbeingagame.ImstillnotsurehowlongwillbelifeoftheXboxinmyhouse,consideringwhatItoldyouatthebeginningofthistext,becauseultimatelytheresalwaysthesolutionofmeremovingitandthusbanningGabrielsaccesstoit.ButIllconsideritagreatthingifmysonwillunderstandtotreatitfornothingelsethanagamewithoutmeturningtosuchan

action.Afterall,itsneverthegamesfaultalwaysthegamers.

Wednesdayponderingonyin&yangMarch5th,2014

TonightImwritingaboutdualityaboutthehumanneedtoperceivethewholeworldasanextrapolationoftheyin/yangphenomenon.ForthoseofyoucurioustoknowwhyIdecidedtomusealittleonthistopic,itsbecausealovelyseriesofcoincidencesthathappenedtoday.FirstitwasoneofthecartoonsthatwewatchedthismorningthesecondpartofMulan,thathasamongitsfirstscenestheoneinwhichMulanteachesthechildrenpreciselyaboutthebalancebetweenyinandyang.Thencamethesecondreasonononeoftheyoyosreceivedbymysonstodayfrommyfatherinlawitwasdrawntheclassicblack&whitesymbol,asseenbelow:

Andthirdly,afterseeingthatyoyo,bothmysonsexclaimedlookmom,itsthePandassymbol.Asyouprobablyguessed,thiswasrelatedtothesecondcartoonthatwewatchedKungFuPandaparttwo,inwhich,guesswhat?ThePandalearnsaboutinnerpeaceandbalance:).So,blackandwhite,upanddown,dayandnight,sunandrain,inandout,goodandbad,maleandfemaleetc.ApparentlythereissuchadualityineverythingthatexistsnotonlyonEarth,butintheentireUniverse.Illplayalittlethedevilsadvocatepartandaskyouifyoutrulybelievethatthereissuchadualityinallthings,orifyouthinkitstherebecauseweWANTtoseeit,tofindit.Imaskingthisbecausethisantagonismissometimesofamoreconcealednature,andtherearetimeswhenIonlyseethedown,andbythetimetheupdecidestohitme,Icompletelyforgetaboutit.Andthencomesthewittyme(:P)andsaysthatofcourseitsallaboutbalancewemustsimplyremembertosearchforitwithinourselvesfirstofall,andafterthatitwillspreadineverythingthatinvolvesus.Itssimplyaboutacceptingthenaturalboththepositiveandthenegative.Itsallinus.Andthesebeingsaid,ImgoingbacktothebeginningofthisandleaveyouwithMulansLessonno.1:).http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMU8TLaX_jwTheimagewasfoundfromGooglesearch.

WednesdayponderingongardeningtoolsMarch26th,2014

Iwasdoingsomespringgardeningafewdaysago,andatsomepointIsawmymotherinlaw(whowasvisitingatthetime)grabbingthescissorsinordertoremovesomewitheredbranchesfromabush,andIheardhermurmuringthatsit,youwastetherootsfornothinganyway.Iknew

whyshewasdoingthis,andIalsoknowshewasrighttodoit,itwasasimplegesturebutIcouldnthelpthinkingaboutitinthedaystocome.Yousee,whenwelookataplantoratreeandweseeadeadleaforbranchstillattachedtothebody,wecutitdown,becauseitpointlesslyconsumesenergy.Anditsagoodthingtodothat,becausetheplantortree,thusfreedofadrylimb,cangrowanewoneinstead.Whatitsmoredifficulttounderstandis,sincewevelearnedtodothistoplants,whycantwedothistoourselves?Whatpreventsustocutthesterile,dry,energyconsumingpartsofourlives,andgrownewones?Ithinkwedo(orbettersaid,dontdo)thatbecausewereafraidofthepain.Wereafraidthatithurtstodothatselftrimming,andwerescaredtodeathofwhatwemaydiscoverifwedothat.Itseasiertolingerinthatperpetualstateofpresumedwildness,slowlyturningintoamessy

bush,suffocatingtheflowerswiththeevergrowingthornsandblockingthelightfromreachingtoourcore.Iknowthat,because,asthesayinggoes,ittakesonetoknowone.Youdontneedmuchtogardenyourselfandarrangeyourinnerlandscape;itsonlyafewtools.Honestyfirstofallraw,painful,cuttinghonesty.Youlookatyourselfandseeexactlywhatsthepointlesslyenergyconsumingpart.Thentheresthewillingnesstofixthings.Youwillalsoneedpatiencewithyourself,becausenothinghappensovernight(ohwell,sometimesitdoes,butthoseareexceptions),andlast,butnotleast,love.Youcannotdoanythingwithoutlove.Thislistofgardeningtoolscanalwaysadapttotheeachpersonscircumstances,thepointisnotjusthavingthem,butalsousingthem.Yes,itwillhurt.Youmayevenbleed.Butyouareallowedtoaskforhelp,andyouareallowedtocry.Youdbeamazedwhatmarvelscanalittleselfgardeningdo:).Andforheavenssake,if,forsomeuntoldreasons,youdecidehowevertobeawildbush,thenbeaburningone,liketheonefromthestoryofMoses;).Theimagewastakenfromhttp://www.finegardening.com/item/31544/thebasicgardeningtoolsguidepickupyourweapon

WednesdayponderingonpathsApril9th,2014

Severaldaysago,beingawayfromhome,Ihappenedtopassbysomemountainsthatlookedabsolutelystunning,andIfoundmyselfthinkingthesearesobeautiful,IhopeonedayIllhavethechancetoknowtheirbeautyfromacloserdistance.ThenIrememberedhow,yearsago,somethingsimilarhappened.Iwaswithmyhusband(backthenonlyboyfriend)inBusteni,inmycountry,andIwasfascinatedwiththemountainsbehindthehotelinwhichwewerestaying,sooneevening,knowingIwasfreethenextday,hesaidwell,tomorrowisabeautifulday,wecangohikingalittleonthem.Iwasthrilledandcouldbarelywait,andwhenwebeganourwalkitwassuchabeautifulmorningthatthemountainslookedsimplybreathtaking.Andyoumustalsothinkaboutthefactthatthebeautyofsomething,asseenfromadistance,isnothingcomparedtoitsbeautywhenyoureactuallythere,nearit.Itsdifferentbecauseyoudontlookatthebigpictureanymore,butatthesmalldetails,thatareoftenevenmoreimpressiveastheinitialimagewas.Tocutalongstoryshort,Ihadnoideathattherouteonwhichmeandmyhusbandwereclimbingwas(andIthinkitstillis)oneofthemostdifficultroutesinRomania,knownasJepiiMici(youcanseesomeimagesofthatroute,thoughnottakenbyme,athttp://magiamuntelui.blogspot.ro/2008/11/traseujepiimicibucegi_8382.html).Therefore,halfwaythroughIwasalreadyexhausted,andwhatwasevenworse,itbeganto

rainandthepathbecameslippery.Itwasalreadytoolatetogodown,sowehadtokeepgoingup,relyingsometimesonthechainsandcablessetupbythelocalalpinists,othertimesonlyoneachother(makethatmerelyingonmyhusband,becauseheappearedtohaveabsolutelynoproblematallandIhavetoalsomakeanoteherethatIveneverseenhimcalmerandmorepatientuntilorsincethatmoment).Butbecauseithadallbecomesodifficult,Ifailedtoseethebeautyofthingsanymore.Ihatedeverything,andIwasoftenundertheimpressionthatitwasaneverendinghellandthatIwouldeventuallygoinsane.Itwasonlyamatterofseveralhours,butIwasliterallycrashingwithinme.WhenwefinallyreachedthehutatBabelewehadsomehottea,madethere,whichbarelyhadanytasteatall,butbackthenitfeltlikethemostdeliciousthingIhaddrunkinmyentirelife.Werestedthereforawhileandthenwedecidedtoreturn,butbecauseithadrainedwehadtogodownbycablecar,andatsomepointmyhusbandgrabbedmyhandandpointeddown,sayinglook,youcanseetherouteonwhichwecameup.AndIkeptlooking,noddingmyheadinutterdisbeliefthatIhadactuallybeenabletowalkonwhat,fromthatdistance,lookedlikeabeautifulthoughimpossiblemountainpath.Thepointofmetellingyoualltheabove,isthatweoftenchoosetowalkonpathsthatmaylookbeautifulfromafar,withoutknowingwhatliesahead.Andwhiledoingthat,wefindthattheinitialbeautymakesspacetowhatcouldseemlikehelltous.Thenitsuptoustoresistonourown,ortotheonesaccompanyingustohavefaithinusandpatiencetohelpusthrough.Buteveniftheroadisbroken,youmustknowthatthebeautythatyousawatfirstisstillthere,even

ifitappearstohavevanished.Rememberthatpathsaremeanttobewalkedandbeautyhastobefelt,notjustadmiredfromadistance.Andifalousycupofteacantasteasheavenlyasminedidafteronlyacoupleofhoursofdifficulties,justimaginehowgooditcanfeeltofindoutthatyouwerestrongerthanyouwouldhaveeverimagined:).

TheimageisaphotooftheKoleinowaterfall,inMacedonia,takenbymyfriend,Raluca:).

WednesdayponderingonspringcleaningApril16th,2014

Thisonewillbeabrieftext,generatedbyadiscussionIjusthadwithacoupleoffriendsaboutthesoontobehereEasterholiday.Theyweretellingmehowpeoplepreparefortheupcomingdays,cleaningtheirplacesandpreparingallsortoffoodandsoon,andthenIrememberedtheEasterdaysfromwhenIwaslittle,whenthepreparationsseemedtobedonesomehowinagentlermanner.Peopleusedtoreadytheirsoulsandheartsmore.NowadaysthespringcleaningbeforeEaster(beforeanyholidayforthatmatter)meansonlytotakeoutthecarpetsandthecoversandthesheetsanddustingandstufflikethat,butnottheirsouls.Sotellme,whatdoesitmatterthatmyhouseiscrystalcleanandthatmytableisloadedwithfood,ifmyheartisfilledwithangerandsorrowandunsolvedissues?!Easterspringcleaninganycleaning,forthatmatter,shouldstartfromwithin,notfromoutside.Andyou,mydearfriends,youshouldtakeadvantageofthespirituallyenhancedatmosphereandtakesometimetomakepeacewithyourselfandwiththosearoundyou.Otherwise,nomatterhowhollythecelebration,youlljustlooklikeamuddyspotonanimmaculatesurface,despiteallthephysicalcleaning:).Peace!

WednesdayponderingonflowerpowerMay28th,2014

ThismorningItookmycoffeeandwenttodrinkitinfrontofmyhouse,enjoyingsomeminutesofpeaceandquietbeforethedaystartingtounfold.SomeweeksagoItookoutsidethehousesomegeraniums,andputthemonashelfnearmyentrance,andtodayIwaswatchingthem,thinkingthatImighthavetomovethembackinside,becausemostofthemdidntseemtoenjoytheweathertoomuch.Andjustwhenthisthoughtcrossedmymind,Isuddenlynoticedfourtinybudsbloomingatthetipofoneoftheflowers,whichIcouldhaveeasilyignored,duetotheirpalepinkcolour.AndwhenIcameclosertotakeapictureofthem,Ialsosawthat,beneaththelayerofleavesslowlydrying,anewlayerofleaveswascomingtolight,asiftheflowers,nowexposedtotheoutsideconditions,wassheddingitsskinoffragilelimbsandisnowputtingonanotherone,strongerandeagertolive.IthenrealizedthatitwasWednesday,andthatIhadntwrittenmyponderinginawhile,becauseIwassimplycaughtupwithloadsofpersonalthingsandittookmeawhiletountanglethemall.AtsomepointIevenfeltthatIwasnevergoingtogetoutofthemultitudeofthreadsandtasksthatsurroundedmefortunately,timeprovedmethatanythingcanfinditselfasolution,withalittlebitofpatienceandopenmindedness.

Today,lookingatthosegeraniumsbloomingagainsttheheavyodds,Iunderstood(fortheumpteenthtime)thatevenwhencircumstancesseemtobetheharshest,onecanstilladaptandkeeponliving.Andtheflowerpowerconcept(which,asafunnycoincidence,wasthedresscodeofaneventwhichIattendedonthepastSunday)suddenlyattainedanewvalence.Naturehasitssilentbutsplendidwaysofteachingusitslessonsbutonlyifandwhenwerereadytolearnthem:).

WednesdayponderingonmusicJune18th,2014

Wednesdaymorning,outsideitsraining(itsbeenrainingalotaroundherelatelyactually)andmyfingersrunonthecomputerkeyboardwhileinthebackgroundYoYoMaisperformingmiraclesonhiscellowithBachssuites.Icannotholdbackamelancholicsmile,rememberingapartofmyyouthwhichIputasideforthepasttenyears,butwhichlatelykeepsbuggingmetoreviveitsomeofyoumayknowthatIusedtoplaythepianoyearsago,butfewknowalsothatatsomepointIdecidedtogiveupmusicandliterallysoldmypiano.ItdoesntmatterwhyIdiditbackthenitseemedlikethelogicalresponsetothecircumstances.IwontsaythatIshouldnthavedoneitanactionisntdefinedonlybythedoer,butalsobythereasonsthatcausedit,andImnotheretojustifymyreasonsfrombackthen.However,IcanthelpmissingtheflowoffeelingsthroughmybeingwhilemyfingersusedtoplayfragmentsofthesoulsofBach,Debussy,Rachmaninoff,Mozart,Beethoven,Prokofievandsomanyothers.AsItoldafriendofmineatsomepoint,therearemomentswhenthevibrationofapianochordisenoughtobringtearsintomyeyes.Therefore,todayImtalkingtoyouaboutmusic,aboutthissplendid,butstillfarfrombeingcompletelyunderstood,partofourlife.Forwhatismusic,afterall?Whathappenstouswhenwelisten,almostasintrance,totheorganizedsoundsplayedorsungbysomeone?Beitclassicormodern,vocalorinstrumental,musicalwaysfascinatedpeople,andtheyneverceasedtostrivetocomprehendandconquerits

amazinglanguage,withoutrealizingthatitwasthelanguagethatwasconqueringthem,andnottheotherwayaround.Mentriedtosubduethisworldofthesound,triedtoimposerulestoit,triedtofititintoshapes,forms,organizeditinsystemsbasedonvariouscriteria,butintheend,nomatteriftherulesarerespected,iftheformisanoldoranewone,musictranscendsalltheartificialorganizationandwefindourselvescompletelyecstaticinthepresenceofsounds.Musicconquersus,andonceitdoesso,itownsusforlife,whetherwereawareofthatornot.Why?Idontknow.Somesayitsbecausemusicisthelanguageofgod.Otherssayitsbecausethefrequenciesofmusicresonatewithourownfrequencies.Butdoesitreallymatter?Thetruthis,no,itdoesnt.Musicsimplygovernsourhearts,inoneofthemostsplendidwayspossible.Yes,musicownsme.Italwaysdid.Italwayswill..

WednesdayponderingonmineandyoursJuly2nd,2014

IfelttheurgeofwritingthisbecauselatelyeverybodyaroundmeseemssofondlyattachedtoobjectsandfeelstheneedtoexpresspossessionofthosemyTV,myphone,myhouse,myroom,mycar,my,my,myandsoon.Asifanyofthoseearthlytreasurescansomehowdefinewhoweare,oratleastapartofwhomweare.Weendowthesethingswiththemarkofourexistence,withthepowertoshapeourpersonality,andwedothatgladly,becausemostofthetimetheyarethesymbolofawishcometrue.Iwantedthat,andnowIfinallyhaveit.Personally,Ididnthaveaproblemwiththis,untilIrealizedthatforcertainpeoplethemystatedabovebecamemuchstrongerthanthemyrelatedtothosearoundthem.InthesecondwhenmyTVismoreimportantthanmymotherwehavetorealizethatsomethingiswrong.ItsnotourpossessionofanobjectthatisbaditsourpossessionBYthatobject.Withtheriskofsoundingabitreligious,itsOKtotreasurethesymbolthatsuchanobjectis(oritscontent,ifthereisone),butnottheobjectitself.Afterall,theearthlynatureofallthingsandbeingsisanevanescentone,andweshouldntforgetthat,whilewecanalwaysbuyanotherphoneifoursbroke,noteverythingelse(forinstancerelationshipswithothers)isreplaceableinasimilarmanner.Lifeismorethanjustobjectsandplaces,lifeisfirstaboutpeopleandwhatwesharewiththemwhichisus,firstofall.Sotakeaminutetothinkaboutwhatistrulyoursinthisworld,whatweREALLYown,andwhatthethingsthatwetakeforgrantedare.Youmightfindoutthatsome

ofyouarericherthanyouthought,andothersarethepoorestofthemall.AndtothatIaddaquotethatisassimple,asprofound:Peoplewerecreatedtobeloved.Thingswerecreatedtobeused.Thereasonwhytheworldisinchaosisbecausethingsarebeinglovedandpeoplearebeingused.IdontknowwhosaidthisasmuchasIsearchedforitsauthorontheinternet,Icouldntfindit.Soifbysomeaccident,oneofyouknowswhosaidit,pleaseletmeknow.Andnow,ifyoullexcuseme,Illshutdownmylaptopandgooutandbreathesomefreshair.Everybodysair.

WednesdayponderingonGodNovember12th,2014

Yes,Iknow,itsbeenaVERYlongwhile.Andhonestly,IwaskindofwonderingifIdgettowritesuchweeklyponderingsagain,becauseIwascaughtupwithtonsofthingsaroundhere.Butitsohappenedtodaythat,whenItookmychildrentoschooltoday,myelderonesteachermentionedsomethingaboutthekidsreligionclassonFriday(yes,religionisoneoftheobjectslearntinschoolinthiscountryoptional,butstillthere.Nocommentatleastnotinthistextofmine)andonmywayhomeIcouldnthelpthinkingaboutthattopicreligionofwhichIwroteinapastpost,andthenextstepwasGod(asIsaidonce,Iamnotanatheist,itsjustthatmybeliefinandmyrelationshipwithGodareofadifferentnaturethanthestandardones)andthefactthatmoreandmorepeople,despitetalkingaboutGodandsayingthattheybelieveinHim,havethehabitofputtingahugedistancebetweenthemselvesandthehigherbeingweretalkingabout.AndIwaswonderingWHYtheydothat,whenithitme:Ihadjustthoughtaboutit.Theproblemhereisthehigherthing.Yousee,itscommonusetosaythatGodisinthesky.Upabove.Inheaven.Evenbetter,intheseventhheaven.Orninth.Orwhatevernumberyouwant.ButIcantrecallthelasttimewhensomeonesaidthattohimGodwasrighthere,onEarth.AnditsbecauseofthisgrowingdistancethatwedontfeelthetouchofHisgrace.Itsbecauseofthisimageofanoldguy,withwhitebeardandlongwhitehair,withastaffinHishand,floatingintangiblyonadistantcloud.SostupidnotGod,butwe.Wearethestupidones.

ForwesendGodinfartherandfartherheavensandthenwedontseeHimanymorearoundusandcomplainthatwedon'tfeelHistouch.TomanyofusHeisjustaname.Anoun.Avocable.Aniconorastatueinachurch,andnothingmore.ButweforgetthatHeistheessenceofalllife,ofallenergy,andthatmeansthatHeisEVERYWHEREaroundus,inus.Andsincenothinghappenswithoutareason,IthenrememberedafragmentfromthescrollofNagHammadi,betterknowntopeopleastheGospelofThomas,whichIhadthecuriositytoreadjustseveraldaysago.Inthe77thsaying,JesusaffirmsthatIamthelightthatshinesoverallthings.Iameverything.Frommeallcameforth,andtomeallreturn.Splitapieceofwood,andIamthere.Liftastone,andyouwillfindmethere,statingthustheunitybetweenGodandusall,statingthustheprofoundconnectionwhichwefailtoseeorfeelanymore,orwhichweevenrejectbythinkingofGodtobesofaraway,aboveus,whileweseeourselvesinthistelluricdimensionoflife.THISiswherethebreachhappens.Inourminds.Inourhearts.Inourmisunderstandingofthefactthatthishigherbeingisactuallysoclosetousthatweareapartofit.IwillendthiswithalovelyparablethatIhappenedtoreadonce,butthatremainedinmymind.Once,inamonastery,therelivedonlyfivemoremonks.Peopledidntgothereanymore,andtheabbotwassad,becausehefeltthathehadfailedhismission.Atsomepointhehastheoccasiontotalktoarabbiandheasksthisoneforawordofwisdom,anadviceofhowtorevivehisorder.AndtherabbisaysthatTheonlythingIcantellyouisthattheMessiahisoneofyouandthenheleft.Theabbot,hearingthat,wonderedwhoofthefivemonkscouldhavebeentheMessiah,andhe

wassuddenlyafraidthatmaybehemistreatedtheHolyOne.Sohetoldtheothermonkswhathehadbeentoldbytherabbi,andtheyallbegantothinkaboutthat.EachofthemwonderedwhocouldbetheMessiah,andsotheystartedtotreateachotherwithmoreandmorerespect,ontheoffchancethatoneofthemmightbetheOne.Itwasonlyamatterofdaysbeforetheatmosphereinthemonasterychanged,turningintoawonderfulenvironment.Whenotherpeoplehappenedtocometothemonastery,theysawtheloveandrespectthatradiatedfromtherelationshipbetweenthefivemonks,andthentheyweretouchedbythattoo,andwantedtobeapartoftheorder.Thustheorderwasrevived,simplybecausepeopletheretriedtoseetheMessiah/Godineachofthosearoundthem.Theressomuchmoretosayaboutthistopic,butIllonlytellyouthatweshoulddothattoo.WeshouldseeGodineachofus,andevenmore,ineachofthebeingsandthingssurroundingus.Andthenthefarawayheavenwouldbemuchcloserthanwecouldimagine:).

TheimageisadetailofMichelangelosCreationofAdamfromtheSistineChapelceilingspainting.

WednesdayponderingonendingsandbeginningsDecember31st,2014

Itsohappensthattodayisthe31stofDecember.Yeah,thelastdayof2014fallsinaWednesday,andasIsawitthismorning,avoiceinsideme(yes,Ihearvoicesinsidemecalmdown,Idontlistentoallofthem:D)toldmetomakeanattemptatwritingmysoirregularbynowpondering.Andwhatbettersubjecttotalkaboutinsuchadaythanendingsandbeginnings?!Itwasastrangeyearthisone,formanyofmyacquaintances,notjustforme.Itwasaweirdpath,withunusualupsanddowns.Notnecessarilybad,butthelowsseemedmorepainfulandtheupsmoreunexpected.Maybetosomethisisagoodthingpersonally,Ihaterollercoasters:).Perhapsthatexplainsmyreaction.Afriendofmine(itsalwaysafriend,isntit?:))toldmeyesterdaythatshefoundthefollowinghighlyamusingphrase:

Whenlifehitsyouandbringsyoutotheground,standup,cleanyourself,smileandsayverypolitely

Youhitlikeagirlandthenshecompleted:yeah,andsometimeslifesayschallengeacceptedandhitsyouagain,thistimeharder.Welaughed,butthetruthisthatnotjustonce,whenwethinkthatthingscouldntgoanyworse,fateprovesuswrong.Andtheconverseisvalidtoogettingathumbsupwhenyouleastexpectit.Thatsabouthowthisyearwent,atleastforme:).

Rememberthoughthatnotalwaysdowesailonsmoothwaters.Sometimesweareluckyenoughtofindourselvesonthecalmfaceofasea,othertimeswegetallwetandshakenbyarockymountainriver.Butwhatyouhavetokeepinmindisthatwhenyouhitrockbottom,theonlywaytogoisup.HarukiMurakamiwrotePainisinevitable.Sufferingisoptionalandhewasright.Onecannotavoidpainduringlifescourse.Buttodwellinthosemomentsinsteadofreachingoutforbetteronesisamistake.So,nomatterhowbad2014went,liftyoureyesandsaytoyourselves2015willbebetter.Andbelievewhatyousaythatisthemostimportantpart.Youhavetobeconvincedthattheyeartocomeisonanupwardcourse:).Afterall,evenPandorakeptherhopeshouldntwedothesame?AtmidnightIwillraisemyglassandthinkofnewbeginnings,notforgettingthattheyarefoundedonendings,nomattertheirnature.AndIwillthinkofallmydearones,hopingthatwhatevertheNewYearwillbring,loveandunderstandingandcompassionwillnotbeleftout:).Cheers,myfriends!Amuchlateredit:asabittercoincidence,thatnightNero,thedogthatexactlyoneyearbeforehadgonelost,diedinmyarms.

TOCWednesdayponderingonbonsais ...................................... 1 Wednesdayponderingonblood ......................................... 5 Wednesdayponderingonnothing...................................... 7 Wednesdayponderingonhappiness .................................. 9 Wednesdayponderingonheat ......................................... 11 Wednesdayponderingonsilence ..................................... 13 Wednesdayponderingonwaste....................................... 15 Wednesdayponderingonsuffering .................................. 17 Wednesdayponderingongreed ....................................... 19 Wednesdayponderingonlifeanddeath.......................... 22 Wednesdayponderingonair ............................................ 23 Wednesdayponderingondiamonds ................................ 25 Wednesdayponderingonfriendslost .............................. 27 Wednesdayponderingonshootingstars ......................... 29 Wednesdayponderingonmiracles................................... 30 Wednesdayponderingontime......................................... 32 Wednesdayponderingonignorance ................................ 34 Wednesdayponderingongifts ......................................... 36 Wednesdayponderingonart............................................ 38 Wednesdayponderingonwindmills................................. 40 Wednesdayponderingonsticksandstones..................... 42 Wednesdayponderingonwords ...................................... 44

Wednesdayponderingongiving ...................................... 46 Wednesdayponderingonapples ..................................... 48 WednesdayponderingonChristmas................................ 50 BelatedWednesdayponderingonguilt .......