INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION PROJECT

Shandelier Boyd Smith

Liberty University

HSER 508

Spring 2012

2

Introduction Define interpersonal

communication Identification of an overarching

goal (OAG) Definition of enlarging the

conversation Description of how my

background and behavioral blend influence conversation (positively and negatively)

Defining potential barriers in my interpersonal context

How am I going to deal with each of my potential barriers

Identify and provide solutions to nose pollution both internal and external

Plan of action for my overarching goal

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION OUTLINE

3

WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION?

The type or kind of communication that happens when the people involved talk and listen in ways that maximize the presence of the personal

(Stewart, 2012, p. 36).   Note: When communication emphasizes the

persons involved rather than just their roles or stereotypical characteristics, interpersonal communication is happening. In other words when communicators give and receive or talk and listen in ways that emphasize their uniqueness, unmeasureability, responsiveness, reflectiveness, and addressability then the communication between them is interpersonal.

4

OVERARCHING MASTER GOAL

It is difficult to understand others until we learn to listen effectively to ourselves

(Burley- Allen, 1995, p.82).

 

My overarching goal is to become more aware of my internal thought process which result in negative conflict, feelings of frustration, stress and unworthy of what God has for me.

 

 

5

ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION

There’s a direct link between the quality of your communication and the quality of your life (Stewart, 2009, p. 6).

Mindful listening requires you to see, hear, and feel with your whole being (Stewart, 2009, p. 187).

Empathetic listening requires three skill sets: focusing, encouraging and reflecting (Stewart, 2009, 193).

6

ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION CONT.

According to Petersen (2007) our stomachs expand with overload of mixed emotions

They press the heart into bricks in our chest, sending our relating abilities south.

The upward expansion flattens our brains, forcing our thinking, hearing and seeing off kilter.

When our brains are flat, we can’t hear, see, think or act sensibly.

This causes our systems to get out of whack which affects how we communicate.

(Petersen, 2007, p.23)

7

BACKGROUND

African – American Female Two-parent/working

household Youngest of five children Educated /1st in family Independent Soft-spoken Determined Strong-willed Go-getter

Positive Influences Adjust well Family values Family support Wisdom Intelligent

Negative Influences Discrimination Not a team player Too risky All over the place goal-

wise

8

BEHAVIORAL BLEND Specific personality pattern of the way I think, act and

feel. According to Carbonell (2008), the model of human behavior are four basic types of temperament

known as the Four Temperament Model of Human Behavior/ Four

“DISC” Personality Types.

D – active/task-oriented I – active/people-oriented

S- passive/people-oriented C-passive/task-oriented

BEHAVIORAL BLEND CONT.

My personality type is determined by two perspectives (1) my guarded behavior/ what’s expected of me and (2) the more casual and open part of me/ this is me.

The Uniquely You assessment identified my behavioral blend as,

 

“This is expected of me!” I

“This is me!” C/I/S

10

DESCRIPTION OF BEHAVIORAL BLEND

Inspiring Influencing Humorous Open Short-sighted vision Interested in people Inducing Standing out in a crowd

(Carbonell, 2008, p. 25 – 27)

Passive Outgoing/ Reserved Life of the party Like to interact with people I prefer peace and harmony I enjoy organized

environments Flexible Need to be more decisive

and direct (Carbonell, 2008, p. 191)

“This is expected of me!” - I “This is me!” - C/I/S

11

POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES

I tend to take the friendly & compliant perspective Strong personal skills Very warm on an individual basis Usually do what I am told I don’t like coloring outside the lines or cutting corners I enjoy open conversations and detailed discussions

(Carbonell, 2008, p. 191 – 193)

12

NEGATIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES

Overuse my analytical skills Lack of being commanding or demanding I think too much or too long about solving a problem I tend to be too quiet & humble that no one knows I am

present Struggle with those who want immediate action or answers I turn people off with my opinions

(Carbonell, 2008, p. 194 - 195

13

POTENTIAL BARRIERS

Difficult or challenging conversations (Stewart, 2009, p. 95)

Finding my sense of entitlement to speak up (Stewart, 2009, p. 222)

Negative self-talk (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 99)

Disclosing myself to others (Stewart, 2012, p. 211)

Fatigue (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 64 – 65)

Rescuing others (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 113,

14

BARRIER SOLUTIONS

Think clearly and honestly about who I am, by strengthening

my foundation

Recognize what matters most

Change negative statement to a positive

Be more willing to share myself with others

Listen at level 2 or make notes (Burley- Allen, 1995, p. 65)

Become aware of “OK” attitudes (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 37)

NOISE POLLUTION

Factors that influence us to be distracted from listening effectively at level 1 (Burley- Allen, 1995).

Two types of noise pollution

1) Internal Noise

2) External Noise  

16

NOISE POLLUTION CONT.

Hearing what you want to hear

Biased Listening Emotional Listening Fatigue

(Burley- Allen, 1995)

Not allowing past experiences dictate how I listen

Patience Positive Process information better

(Burley-Allen, 1995)

Internal Noise Solutions

17

NOISE POLLUTION CONTINUED

Loud traffic noises Views of outside activity or

scenery Doing two or three things

at one time Talker speaking too rapidly

(Burley-Allen, 1995)

Find a peaceful place inside Go to a place where there

are less distractions Focus on one thing at a

time Ask for understanding and

clarity

External Noise Solutions

18

PLAN OF ACTION

Take a vacation from classes so I can reflect on what I’ve learned from this course!

Listen with intent.

Paraphrase for clarity

Focus more on the other person

Respect what others say is important to them

Manage time better

19

PLAN OF ACTION CONT.

Acquiring a humble spirit

Stand up for myself

Improve my indecisiveness

Begin to demand what’s rightfully mine

Work on managing conflict

Try not to be so intense

20

CONCLUSION… It’s easy to overlook oneself and point the finger at

others. My main objective is to do a lot of soul searching, praying, fasting, whatever it takes to rid myself of the things that will hinder me from being effective to the Kingdom of God.

I never imagined that this class would provoke me to dig

deep within me to uncover some of those ugly things that I

knew was there, but never knew how to approach. This

course left me no other choice.

Thank you!

21

REFERENCES

Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill: A self-teaching

guide. (2nd ed.). New York: John Wiley & Sons

Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding

personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.

Carbonell, M. (2005). Uniquely You. Retrieved June 27, 2011 from

Uniquely You. https://www.uniquelyyou.com

Peterson, J.C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and

connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Peterson Publications.

Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal

communication. (11th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill