Doctor-Patient Confidentiality

Greed was a powerful thing. Really powerful. Like, consuming-ly

powerful. And quickly – so quickly, too quickly – I was consumed, but I wasn’t so willing.Okay, that’s a lie. I was pretty

willing. But I was only willing to be greedy if it was convenient. Call me lazy that way.It didn’t happen overnight, either.

Not even over-semester. It was gradual. I’d sold thirty caps the first week of

every month since that streak of awesomeness in June had turned out to be just that. Fucking awesome. It was now January. Seven months and seven selling sprees later, Robyn and

I were sitting pretty, pocketing several hundred dollars each time. Do the math, I’m not a number

cruncher. The second semester was

underway.

Spring’s first spree of sales had just ended when I’d pulled up to his office.That wasn’t customary. I only came

on the first of the month, but there I was – January: Week 2. This was a special consultation.I walked into the lobby, tensely, and

the desk clerk greeted me with a familiar smile. Pleasantly plump with that popping pink lipstick, she always perked up when I came around.

“Hi, Caaaam.” She was smacking her gum, almost sexually.Please. Stop.“Oh, hey, cutie.”PSA: I flirted with pretty much every

girl when Robyn wasn’t around because I needed to keep my game strong and bring it back to my baby. We were at an extremely flirty stage in our relationship, and it was phenomenal. Absolutely phenomenal. Oh, yeah, we’d become official, by

the way. About a month or so after we’d

become “business partners,” we decided to partner up in other ways. I said I would make it happen, and I did. We were holding hands on campus. Had the updated social

Media status. Fam-bam meet-and-greets. The whole shebang.Heh, shebang. Oh lord, did she

bang.Excuse me.“Here to see Dr. Sadler?” pink-lips

swooned at me.“Sure am,” I replied. “But seeing you

has been quite the treat, I must say.” She giggled and blushed for a

moment.“Oh! I, heh! Cam! You can just!” She

was pointing toward the door to the examination rooms. “Head on back! It’s open!”So nervous. Sort of cute. Super

uninterested.“Oh thanks, pretty lady,” I pulled

back the door. “I’ll be back in a little

bit, okay? You better be here to say bye to me.”“I will be!” she squeaked. + 10 flirt points for me. I’d be

leveling up soon.And Robyn’s gonna love that.

I stopped. His office was closed, which was

weird because he was one those ‘open-door policy’ fanatics. My childhood best friend, my hero, my inspiration, Dr. Isaac Sadler had his name tattooed on a brass-sign bicep, flexing hard at the entrance to let his patients know one thing:He was the shit. Seriously. He was

the fucking shit.Isaac boarded a train and became

its conductor, rerouting the rails as he

flew down life’s super-fast track to being successful. Like a disgustingly fast-track. Like NASCAR meets warp-speed meets time travel fast-track. He was like the older brother that I

never had, too. An idol, of sorts. Our families were close, so he’d known me since I was a kid, and even back then, he always had this wisdom about him. He was only four years my senior, yeah, but it’s like he was ten years ahead of me in life. Fortunately, that never came between us. He’d finished college early. He’d

gone to Medical School. And now, he was a licensed physician, employed by our University.

His degree had an M.D. printed after his name, nicely matted in a custom frame, and that degree, that license, and that resulting prefix – Dr. Sadler – meant that he could write prescriptions.Lazy, but willing, I needed

convenient.How convenient was Isaac, and how

willing I was.

“What up, Cam!” he’d snuck up behind me, and I pissed a little. Good thing I was wearing dark jeans. “Long time, no see, dude!”We spoke to one another like we

were still in high school. No formalities, no ‘sirs,’ no ‘Dr. So-and-sos.’ Just ‘dudes,’ ‘mans,’ ‘bros,’ and

I think both of us liked it like that. Loved it, actually.“Dr. Sadler, it’s good to see you,” I

said, making intense eye contact with his Clearwater blues. He was stocky and tall, but still

about an inch shorter than me. He had long, white-boy hair, dirty blonde and slicked back in that hip-but-professional cut with a no-product style. Like he showered and just ran the towel over it a few times before brushing his bright and boyish smile with a squeeze of Colgate.The educated Dr. Ken doll from

Mattel. The fit, blondie with blue eyes.Fucking Isaac the Poster Boy.“It’s been one week, so not too

long,” I continued. “Forgive me, sir.

I’m sorry to be a bother.” We loved joking about the formalities as much as we hated using them. Naturally, this made sense. “Has the medicine been treating you

well, Patient A?” We stepped through the door as he said this.I preferred being called ‘Patient C,’

honestly. ‘C’ for ‘Cameron.’ Duh.“Yeah, dude, it’s been great,” I

replied lightly. “No surprise, right?” I decided to dissolve the formality

joke with that comment. We were practically brothers, and at that point, during that visit, it was imperative that two of us talk like we were.

“Have a seat, dude, what’s up?” He shut the door behind us, and I

sat down, eyeing him.

Isaac was naïve enough to see the good in fucking everything. Sometimes, it would annoy me, but more often than not, it would inspire. He gave people second chances to change, and strangely enough, they would, just because he gave them the opportunity. He believed in people. He believed in me. It was nice.But it was also extremely easy to

take advantage of him.“I need more Adderall,” I said.Isaac had become my new doctor

since I’d transferred to the University because it didn’t make any sense to travel an hour back home for prescription refills. More importantly, he was my friend. My best fucking friend. It seemed just as right as it

was convenient. I had no malicious intent, but I planned to turn that convenient camaraderie into currency. In the wrong hands, that would have

been a mistake.I was too smart for mistakes.“I’m…” he paused, grinning

uncomfortably. “Not sure I can do that, bud.”I hated when he called me ‘bud.’ It

almost sounded condescending. I felt like it was a term used by acquaintances as they referred to their kin. Hearing that word from him always made me feel distant; as if we weren’t best friends. Call me fucking ‘dude.’ Call me ‘bro.’ Call me ‘homie.’ Talk to me like we’ve known each other for years.

We called each other ‘nigga,’ for Christ’s sake.“Why not, dude?”“You’re already on two a day,

buddy. I can’t authorize three a day, there would be questions.”‘Buddy’ was the pussy piglet in a

group full of ‘buds.’ I wanted to punch him.“But I need more,” I pleaded,

scanning my brain for a list of reasons. “I’m taking more classes this semester, thinking about joining this organization and maybe even going for an officer position. They’d help. I know they would.”Oh, the woes of a college student.“That’s great, dude! What

organization?”

Sometimes I hated Isaac for actually doing his job, but it wasn’t his fault. The guy was like family, but that wonderful prefix of ‘Dr.’ was the dash of seasoning that turned the soup of my friend’s genuine interest into a stew of my physician’s medical procedure.It left a bad taste in my mouth.“Uh, this Honor Society one for my

Major,” I said, sounding bored. “I’ve got the grades for it, though, so that’s good.”“Hell yeah, that’s badass, bro! I’m

proud of you!”And I’m proud as fuck of you, Isaac,

but help me out here.“Thanks, man,” I murmured, glaring

intensely at the floor.

To clear things up, I wasn’t trying to manipulate my best friend. I had a sense of my future. I wanted

to use the money I’d be making for something real. Something of value. A down payment on a house when I settled down with a family. A start-up fund for a business after it all. A Masters Degree after my Bachelors. Two matte jobs in the University’s colors. Two custom frames. Even just a savings account on steroids when I hit twenty-s… omething.Or, I could land a high-paying job

after college and blow it all on a one-year vacation.Travel while you’re young, right?Unlikely. I wasn’t hitting any

jackpots with my Major.

“So how are things with you and Robyn?”That question, I didn’t mind. I loved

talking about that goddess.“Things are great, bro, thanks for

asking,” I was beaming. “She asked about you the other day. Told me to shout out the dorm days!”Unbeknownst to me until recently,

Isaac and Robyn had become fairly close friends before I was a part of their picture. He’d volunteered on campus in exchange for room and board during his time in Medical School, and Robyn met him in the dorms during her freshmen year. They’d been friends ever since. Two years of friendship. The same

two years that I had spent in super-

high school, campus of the super high and super average.I didn’t miss it one bit.“Oh, shit! Them dorm days, though!”

he boomed, chuckling.I watched as he pumped his arms

above his head in some sort of muscle flex dance move and decided to steal his choreography. I was going to hit ‘em with it in the club next time I stepped out.Ooh, kill ‘em.“Yeah, she says she misses you,” I

said, quietly.“Tell her to come visit, it’s been so

long!”He was excited, and I was feeding

off of his energy, but I needed to focus. I needed to turn the conversation back to the Adderall.

Back to more Adderall. That’s why I was there.“When’s the last time y’all saw each

other?” I asked, legitimately curious.And I said I needed to focus.“Been a while, man. Beginning of

last semester, maybe?” He pondered for a second. “I guess I haven’t seen her since y’all started dating. You laying it down or what, Cam?!” He gave me a shove, and I laughed. Of course, I was laying it down.“Yeah, we’ve been together about

seven months now, and it’s been great, dude. I can’t believe you didn’t introduce us before!” In reality, I was thankful that he

hadn’t. Community College Cam did not have the Swagg-erall to talk to that tight and tan University

cheerleader. Dr. Nathan really came in clutch with that prescription.“I think I… I think I’m in love with

her, Isaac,” I added. Happiness was oozing from my

pores when I said that. It was gross, and being that emotional, I felt sticky, but I couldn’t ignore it. Everything was going so well between the two of us.“My Lil Cam Bear’s in love?” I knew he was going to tease me for

this. “With a girl?!” His tone, though he was clowning,

told me how supportive he was, and I smiled, so hard that my face began to ache.“Yeah, dude, she so amazing.”

“Daw! Love is in the fucking air! How fucking cute!” We laughed, and he put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m so happy for you, though, Cam. Really. Congratulations.”“Thanks, Isaac.”

“So…” he began, uneasily. “What’s really up, man?” And like that, it was a special

consultation again. “You were just here last week, and I

know you don’t just do things willy-nilly. I mean, I know you miss me sometimes, but c’mon, dude. Buy me dinner if you’re going to come around this often.”He knew me too well.“I need more Adderall, Isaac. I really

do.”

He sighed back at me.“I can’t do that, Cameron. I can’t.” He looked disappointed in himself.

Like he was letting me down. I began to feel guilty. “Adderall’s a dangerous drug,

especially if you’re taking that much. And you’re a college student. Do you know what that means?”I hesitated, sensing he might be

onto my ploy, but I wasn’t sure. I had to play it cool.“What does it mean?”“It’s a Schedule-II drug, dude. It’ll

turn too many heads if a college kid has a monthly script for that much of it.” He hunched forward, as if to tell me

a secret.

“I’d be on the hot seat, and so would you. Trust me.”Well, I wasn’t wrong, he was onto

me. He was addressing the dangers that lay in my end goal. My reason for this special consultation. But I wasn’t right, either. He wasn’t

blaming me for this, in fact, it was quite the opposite. It seemed like he actually believed me. That I actually “needed more” for prescribed usage. He wasn’t calling me out for my lies and deceit. He was watching out for me, not scolding me.Saint Sadler.“What do you mean?” I decided I had to play dumb a bit

longer. Maybe I’d find someway in – an angle to work – but things looked grim.

“I mean, kids sell it, Cam,” he spoke in a low voice and slid his chair closer. “Everyone knows that. What kind of college student wouldn’t buy all-nighter study pills for a cram sesh?”“Oh, yeah,” I said, timidly, still

searching for a way to convince him. “People have asked me for some of mine, but I’ve always said no.” I guess I thought lying would have

made my pitch more appealing, but his response pierced through my attempt.“I don’t care if you sell yours, dude, I

bet you probably have extras sometimes.” He was grinning. “I was a college student, too,” he continued. “And we’re all broke. All the time. Let’s be honest.”

The two of us chuckled because he was right. He was right about so much more than he knew, and I felt something drop in my stomach. I wouldn’t be able to pull this off. Not this time.“If I admit to selling them, you can’t

say anything right?” I asked that question as indifferently

as I did confidently. I knew he wouldn’t tell anyone, but admitting to it… I didn’t want to feel judged or pitied. His response confirmed, expectedly, that I could speak with the latter.“I’m under oath, Cam,” he beamed.

“And we’re best friends!” The dance moves came forth once

more.

“I’m your fucking vault, you can tell me anything!”He was right. I could’ve told him

anything. I could’ve told him how Robyn and I had been selling Adderall for months, and I could’ve told him how good the money was. How we wanted more money. How we…I paused for a moment.We…Flick up the light switch. I had

something.“I share them with Robyn,” I hissed,

looking away when I spoke, and then back at him. His face, peculiarly enough, didn’t

look shocked, disappointed, or even the slightest bit uncomfortable. He

looked interested and accepting. Proud, almost.“So that’s how you got in her pants!”

he hollered.Laughter erupted powerfully from

his chest, and it was infectious, but for me, the humor lay deep in the irony. He was right, in a sense. The drug was what brought us together, but my charm was what won me her heart.Duh.“Yeah, you know,” I said, shrugging.

“Classic Cameron.”“Vintage Cameron.” I fucking loved him.“But, yeah,” I began, reeling the

conversation back for a moment. It was closing time – fight or flight,

make it or break it – and that brief,

light-hearted exchange gave me the confidence I needed to clinch a victory. “True story: I give her some of mine.

So that’s why I was asking for more.”“Who’s her insurance provider?” he

asked. I wasn’t expecting that question.“I’m not sure,” I blurted. “I think

she’s under her parents?”“Tell her to come see me, and we’ll

talk,” he said with casual smirk. “I might just throw her name on your prescription, you get me?”A chill rushed down my neck as I

realized what he was saying to me. I’d done it.I didn’t know things could happen

that perfectly.

“And I respect you being honest with me, too, dude,” Isaac continued, standing up now. “I’m not saying that as your doctor. I’m saying that as your brother.”“I really, really appreciate it, Isaac,” I

said, rising myself. “You have no idea.”“I know you do, Cam, and that’s why

I’m about to tell you something else. Something important.”Suddenly, the victorious air about us

was foggy with uncertainty. His tone made me anxious, and the way his eyes scanned back to the door when he spoke made things worse. I watched as he put his palm on his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair a few times. I could hear his

nails stop at the nape of his neck as he itched it. I knew Isaac too well. I had seen

these mannerisms. Whatever he was about to tell me had him worried. Unbelievably worried.Plot twist.“Adderall,” he whispered. “Thirty

milligrams. Extended Release. Twice a day.” His breathing quickened. “That’s a bang up prescription,” he

continued. “An intense, borderline excessive, prescription.”“Isaac, are you…” He cut me off.“And I’m writing out two scripts for

that dosage. One for you, and one for Robyn because I want to help y’all out, Cam.”

He was speaking in a quiet sort of gasp, eerie and uncharacteristic of him.“You are helping us, dude.” I was trying to diffuse the unease

floating around us and slide out of the office door casually because he was beginning to scare me. The scratching was getting louder and his forehead was slightly damp. “Seriously,” I began. “Robyn’ll be so

thank…”He raised his hand and silenced me

again.“I trust you,” he said. Finally calm,

he spoke with conviction. “I’m prescribing the two of you an excess because I really do care about both of you.”“What’re you…”

We locked eyes, staring at one another like twin brothers that were striding down different walks of life. Equal, but unequal. So close, but so far apart at the same time, and I felt no reason to put up that clueless front any longer. He knew. I knew. And there was no point in lying to my best friend; there never was. I took a deep breath and decided to

level with him.“We’re going to sell most, if not all of

her prescription, Isaac.”He just gazed back at me for a few

moments after I’d said that, but there wasn’t a single drop of judgment in his glare. It was a serene look. Naïve, yes. But it was peaceful. Friendly. And accepting.

“I know, Cameron,” he sighed. “I know. Just… Have Robyn come see me.”