Post on 02-Dec-2014
description
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve TürkiyeCumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir
IMPROVED STRATEGIC MANAGEMENT CAPACITY PROJECT
November 2013
Training Techniques Training – Session 3Jocelyne Rasé
Coaching skills
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Day Three
Why Coaching? – Telling people what to do does not work
Principles of Coaching– The 5 steps– The purpose– The change of mindset necessary– The outcome
Practice
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Coaching is about Change
Before After
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Telling people what to do … Does it work?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir How many times do I have to….?
Efforts Results80/20
09/04/2023 5
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
6
How long will it take
before you realise
that it does not work?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Compliance is NOT the same as engagement
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir What is below the surface?
Superficial agreement
.Resistance
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Time
Mot
ivatio
n - P
erfo
rman
ce
Stretch zone
Strategic Management
Comfort Zone
Reform has been
in place
since 2003
1 2 3 4 5 Coaching 6 7 8 9 10
10 9 8 7 6 Being directive 5 4 3 2 1
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir From being directive to coaching I am a Directive I am Coaching
Beliefs I operate from – ‘I know best’
I find solutions. I make decisions
I am responsible for the actions of people
Skills required
Organise, solve problems,
make decisions, giving orders
What I am actually doing
Give instructions
Tell the person what to do
Beliefs – ‘You know what is best for you’
You can generate great solutions
You are responsible for the results you create
Skills required
Focused listening, open questions, reflection,
Feedback, open observation, dialogue
What I am actually doing
Understand, challenge interpretations,
Encourage others to think differently
Coaching requires a change in mind-set
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Coaching Skills: a 5 step process
1. Building rapport
2. Structure the conversation
3. Focused listening4. Effective Questioning
5. Constructive Feedback
Helping the person think differently
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
In order to influence people to change, you need to build trust
Rapport
Ritual - Cliché
Facts - Information
Opinions - Beliefs
Emotions - Feelings
Trus
t
Ris
k
Tim
e
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Levels of Listening
Cosmetic Listening
Conversational Listening
Active/Attentive Listening
Deep Listening
Little effort/focus
Focused intention
‘If it looks like I’m listening, I’m not really, I’m kind of someplace else…’
‘I’m engaged in the conversation, listening, talking, thinking, talking, thinking, again and again, etc.
‘I’m very focussed on what you’re saying, paying attention, recording facts’
‘I’m more focussed on you than me, I’m getting a sense of who you are.’
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Quality Questions Don’t ask WHY
Great questions have the following characteristics:– They are simple– They have a purpose– They are open, i.e. no hidden agenda or motive– They influence thought or learning
Open How..?
Tell me more…
What does it mean..?
Can you explain…?
What would…..?
Closed Did you..? Yes or No?
Have you..?
Is this the issue..?
Is that what stops you?
Get the person to talk lessGet the person to talk more
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
April 9, 2023 15
Challenge the
person’s way of thinking
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
April 9, 2023
16
Coach the PERSON,
NOT the ISSUE!!!
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
17
The coaching approach
I am directive - I tell what to do The coachee directs him/herself
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Dependence Guidance Sharing Support Delegation Encouragement Trust Independence
Directives Advice Opinions Suggestions Impressions Options Alternatives Possibilities
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
18
From being directive to trust…BEING DIRECTIVE Questions Outcome
Directives Do that! DEPENDENCE
Advice May I recommend that you…? Guidance
Opinions May I share my opinion? ...I think that… Sharing
Suggestions Have you thought about…? Support
ImpressionsMy I share my impression ... It is that you seem …
Delegation
Options What are your options? Encouragement
Alternatives What else could you think about? Openness
Possibilities You could do X, Y, Z Trust
COACHING I know you will make the right decision INDEPENDENCE
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
The girl on her way to Ibiza…
What is the issue?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
What is below the surface?
Listen to the words, question them, ask for different words…Listen to the emotion, ask for clarification
Topic
Issue.
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Time Out
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Coaching Skills: a 5 step process
1. Building rapport
2. Structure the conversation
3. Focused listening4. Effective Questioning
5. Constructive Feedback
Beliefs we operate from
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
23
Practice Sessions
• Break into groups of 3– Person A = Coach– Person B = Coachee– Person C = ObserverA B
C
Coachee:
Prepare a topic for coaching : Talk about an important change you are considering but you have not done anything yet about it.
“I am thinking about a significant change….”
Coach:
Help the person think differently
Observer:
Write notes, make suggestions, give feedback. Ask the coach:
What did you do well?
What could you have done better?
What will do you differently next time?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedirWhen the coachee says, « I am thinking about…»• How do you feel about the change? What else do you feel? - Are you stepping IN or OUT of a situation?
• What are you leaving behind? – How will you keep in touch?
• What are you stepping into? (+) When the coachee has a positive fantasy - Lets picture your fantasy - Have you checked with anyone? (-) When the coachee imagines a negative situation - What evidence do you have that it will be so bad? Let’s imagine the worst scenario
• Have you experienced this kind of change in the past? - How did you cope? - What worked? How can you apply this to NOW? - What didn’t work? What can you learn from this past experience/failure?
• Who/ What can help you? - How can you make better use of the resources available to you ?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Human dilemma
25
50%50%
Doi
ng N
othi
ng –
Sta
tus
Quo
55%
60%
70%
80%
PARALYSIS of
ANALYSIS
Dual Thinking
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Enabling factors
Who or What can help you
make a decision? Who else? What else?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Coaching is about reconciling 2 options
which seemed exclusive of one another
And
Either Or
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
What are the blocking factors?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Open the realm of possibilities
30
Dual Thinking
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
31
Practice Sessions• Break into groups of 3
– Person A = Coach– Person B = Coachee– Person C = Observer
A B
C
Coachee:
Prepare a potential topic for coaching: a dilemma you have, a situation where you feel stuck
“I know I should … but.... ”
Coach:
Help the person think differently – switching from dual thinking(either/or) to win-win (AND)
Observer:
Write notes, make suggestions, give feedback. Ask the coach:
What did you do well?
What could you have done better?
What will do you differently next time?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
When you are in the box…. You need coaching…
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedirInaction
PowerlessnessAnger Pessimism Negativity
Isolation It won’t work I shouldEnvy
Jealousy
Boredom
HelplessnessDual Thinking
either/or black or white
Disbelief
Confusion
Fear
ResistanceI can’t.. I really, really
want to…
Judgment
Criticism
Resentment Apprehension Depression Lack of vision
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
When a team is in the box…. They need coaching…
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir When the coachee says, «I have to… I can’t…»
• What puts you in the box, exactly? How does it feel? How long are you willing to stay?
• What is stopping you from….(stepping out of your box)?
• What are the benefits of keeping things the way they are? i.e. staying in your box? (secondary gains)
• What are the consequences of not doing anything? (negative outcomes)
• Which old tape are you listening to? – What evidence do you have that it is true? – Who are you loyal to, when you are listening to that tape? – Have you talked to anybody about this dilemma? Who? Did that help you make a decision? – Have you talked to someone who believes the opposite? (searching for another opinion)
• What is the worst scenario?
• What woud you do if you were not afraid?, if you were sure to succeed?
35
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
36
Practice Sessions
• Break into groups of 3– Person A = Coach– Person B = Coachee– Person C = ObserverA B
C
Coachee:
Prepare a potential topic for coaching: a dilemma you have, a situation where you feel stuck
“I don’t know if I should or not do X or Y”
Coach:
Help the person think differently
At the end, review your experience on coaching
Observer:
Write notes, make suggestions, give feedback
What did you do well?
What could you have done better?
What will do you differently next time?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
WIN and WIN
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
• What puts you in the box?
• What keeps you in the box?
• How do you cope? What exactly do you do? Does it work?
• What price are you paying for doing the same thing over & over?
• How long are you going to stay in the box?
• What will happen if you stay in your box?
• What are the secondary benefits to staying in the box?
Discussion with your coach – in pairs
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Discussion with your coach – in pairs
• What would it take to step out of the box?
• Lets imagine the best scenario, how would you handle it?
• What does it look like?
• What would you do if you were not afraid?
• What or Who can help you?
• What are you going to do differently, concretely from now on?
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
40
It’s up to you…IN THE BOXI have to «get along with» … or else…• There will be conflict,• I will be reprimanded,• There will be negative consequences,• I will be fired, I will have a bad reputation, etc = NEGATIVE
OUT OF THE BOXI choose to «get along with… » because…• We will collaborate better to finish the project on time• I might learn something from him• The atmosphere will more positive, etc = POSITIVE
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Don’t take the monkey
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
42
Emotional Maturity – 360° feedback
Self Awareness
Self Management
Awareness
of others
Relationship Management
‘Intra’ personal
emotions & behaviours
‘Inter’ personal
emotions & behaviours
Source: Daniel Goleman
DenialLack of
empathy Abuse
Fight or Flight
Acting out
or
Addiction
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
43
Coaching to develop emotional maturity
Self - AwarenessHow do you feel?
What do you mean?
What exactly makes you upset?
Use different words
What else do you feel?
Explain
Source: Daniel Goleman
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
44
Coaching to develop emotional maturity
Self - ManagementWhat do you usually do when you are upset?
What have you done so far?
What worked, what did not work?
What can you learn from that?
Who/what could help you?
What else could you do?
What other option do you have?
Source: Daniel Goleman
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
45
Coaching to develop emotional maturity
Awareness of othersHow do you think the other person feels?
What is the impact of your behaviour on other people?
How would you feel if you were in the same situation?
Have you discussed this with the other person?
Why not?
Source: Daniel Goleman
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
How do they feel?
46
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
47
Coaching to develop emotional maturity
Relationship ManagementWhat evidence do you have that the person will respond negatively
to your request?
How can you approach the person differently?
What is stopping you?
What are you afraid of?
What is the worst that could happen?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
What would you do if you could not fail?
Source: Daniel Goleman
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
48
Coaching myself to develop my emotional maturity…
Self - AwarenessHow do I feel?
What do I mean?
What exactly makes me upset?
What other words can I use to express how I feel?
What else do I feel?
Can I explain?
Self - ManagementWhat do I usually do when I am upset?
What have I done so far?
What worked, what did not work?
What can I learn from my past experience?
Who/what could help me?
What else could I do?
What other option do I have?
Awareness of othersHow do I think the other person feels?
What is the impact of my behaviour on other people?
How would I feel if I were in the same situation?
Have I discussed this with the other person?
Why not?
Relationship ManagementHow do I cope with people’s emotions?
What evidence do I have that the person will respond negatively If I speak to him/her?
What can I do?
How can I approach the person differently?
What is stopping me? What am I afraid of?
What is the worst that could happen to me if…?
What would I do if I were sure to succeed? Source: Daniel Goleman
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
49
Coaching others to develop their emotional maturity…
Self - AwarenessHow do you feel?
What do you mean?
What exactly makes you upset?
What other words can you use to express how you feel?
What else do you feel?
Can you explain?
Self - ManagementWhat do you usually do when you are upset?
What have you done so far?
What worked, what did not work?
What can you learn from your past experiences?
Who/what could help you ?
What else could you do?
What other option do you have?
Awareness of othersHow do you think the other person feels?
What is the impact of your behaviour on other people?
How would you feel if you were in the same situation?
Have you discussed this with the other person?
Why not? What stopped you?
Relationship ManagementHow do you cope with people’s emotions?
What evidence do you have that the person will respond negatively If you speak to
him/her?
What can you do?
How can you approach the person differently?
What is stopping you? What are you afraid of?
What is the worst that could happen to you if…?
What would you do if you were sure to succeed? Source: Daniel Goleman
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir
Change management
April 9, 2023 50
Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse
edilmektedir Assignment