The Pit- Pilot RMS

7/28/2019 The Pit- Pilot RMS

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The PitPilot

by

Scott L.

[email protected]


2/32

INT. OFFICE - DAY

The new guy, BRIAN, 24, is putting a tiny waiter apronaround his waist while he talks with JEFF, the portlymanager, in the office. Jeff can be heard clearly, butBrians voice is distant. Hes being picked up through

Jeffs microphone.

JEFFCorporate says its Actuality-TV.Its kind of an ongoing commercialfor the company.

BRIAN(muffled)

Will this air on TV?

JEFFNobodys really sure. Here at the

Walla Walla Peach Pit we were, um,ripe for selection!

Jeff chuckles nervously at his own pun and quickly resumescomposure.

JEFFFrankly, we could use the business.Is your microphone on?

Brian lifts his shirt showing a microphone taped on hisunder shirt. He flips a switch.

BRIAN TALKING HEAD

Brian fidgets uncomfortably.

BRIAN(looking off camera)

Is it working?(back to camera)

My name is Brian. I recentlygraduated from Washington StateUniversity and like a lot ofgraduates, I moved back home. Itspretty common given the market. Iadmit, The Peach Pit wasnt myfirst choice for a job... or myfourth or fifth for that matter,but times are tough.

(in mock excitement)And boy am I excited to have itdocumented for all to see!


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2.

INT. EMPLOYEE ENTRANCE - DAY

JESSICA, 22 and Mexican, is hanging up her coat as Jeff andBrian walk out of the office.

JEFF

Jessica! This is your newfuzzy-buddy, Brian!

Brian looks shocked at the seemingly off-color joke. Jessicashakes her head in embarrassment.

BRIANExcuse me?

JEFFWell, you know how peaches feel,Theyre fuzzy!

Brian looks to Jessica and laughs uncomfortably.

JESSICAIts like a corporate nickname forteammate. Dont worry, we donthave to get tested or anything.

BRIANRight...

JEFFBrian, youre going to be shadowingJessica today, so stick to those

hips!

Brian looks down to his shoe laces.

JESSICAThanks, Jeff. Ill take it fromhere.

Jeff about faces and goes to the office shutting the doorbehind him. The door LOCKS.

JESSICA(to Brian)

Alright, follow me.


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3.

INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS

Brian and Jessica walk into the fairly empty bar and up toCRYSTAL, the African-American punk bartender.

CRYSTALWhos the latest victim?

JESSICAThis is Brian. Brian this isCrystal.

Brian smiles cordially.

BRIANNice to meet you.

Crystal is not so cordial. She looks more annoyed thananything. A drink order prints.

CRYSTALIf we were friends, Id tell you torun away while you can. This placeultimately leads to the loss ofyour hope and respect for mankindas a whole.

Brian acknowleges with a nod. MIKAELA, a pretty young girl,then walks in from the employee entrance and Crystalsuddenly becomes chipper, almost girly.

CRYSTALHi, Mikaela!

MIKAELAHey.

Mikaela passes through the bar and her meager responseleaves Crystal feeling exposed. A drink order prints and shetends to it quickly by pouring a beer.

TYLER, 26 and athletic, approaches the bar with initiative.He extends a hand to Brian.

TYLER

Sup man, Tyler.

BRIANNice to meet y--

TYLERSo, youre following Jess around?

Jessica shoots Tyler a look of distaste.

(CONTINUED)


5/32

CONTINUED: 4.

TYLERNot too bad! First day on the job,you already got the best view inthe house!

He looks down at Jessicas butt. Crystal glares and sets

down the beer.

JESSICA(tired, as if not worthsaying)

Shut up, Tyler.

Jessica subtley turns her front to Brian. Laughing, Tylergrabs the beer and walks off.

TYLER TALKING HEAD

TYLERYeah, I wish theyd hired anothergirl. Always nice to get to know anew face... and other things.

He grins.

INT. THE FLOOR - MOMENTS LATER

Jessica and Brian walk slowly towards a table. Jessica grabssome coasters from a small basket.

JESSICAYou gotta approach each tabledifferently. Three guys? Mechanics?Keep it casual.

They walk up to the table of three men.

JESSICAHows it goin, boys? Can I startyou with a pitcher?

MECHANIC #1Whats this? Your boyfriendfollowing you around?

Jessica sidesteps and motions to Brian.

JESSICAThis is my trainee today, Brian.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 5.

MECHANIC #1Can you teach me something?

JESSICAI couldnt possibly know where tobegin. Do you know your alphabet?

Brian and two mechanics laugh, #1 smirks.

MECHANIC #1I know all kinds of things darlinWhenre you off?

JESSICATrust me, when I get off, you wonthave anything to do with it.

Everyone laughs again.

MECHANIC #2Well take any domestic. Threeglasses, thank you.

JESSICAIll have that right out.

Jessica and Brian walk away to the computer.

BRIANThat was really casual, borderingon unprofessional.

JESSICANot here. Youve got to rememberthat youre not selling Shiraz andcheese platters. Youre sellingCoors pitchers and mozzarellasticks.

INT. KITCHEN - LATER

Jeff stands in the kitchen overseeing Brian wash his hands.Jessica is drying hers off. The cooks put two plates up inthe window for NICK, 18 and pudgy, the food expoditer.

JEFF(to Brian)

All the way up to your elbows.

NICKJess! Your guys food is up, get itoutta my window.


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6.

Jessica grabs two plates from the window. Brian finisheswashing his hands and follows her out of the kitchen.

INT. THE FLOOR - CONTINUOUS

Brian and Jessica come out of the kitchen. Brian looks athis hands. The restaurant is still fairly slow.

BRIANI get keeping my hands clean, butraw, bleeding hands seemscounter-intuitive.

JESSICAIts rough the first couple weeks.

BRIANDo your hands just get used to it

after a while?

JESSICANo, but the managers will be offyour back. Nobody actually washestheir hands two hundred times anight, wed look like lepers.

Brian and Jessica walk to the table nearest the back awayfrom customers where Mikaela and JARED, an 18 year old brickof a guy, are praying over their food. Theyve joined handsand have their heads bowed in reverence.

MIKAELA...and may the nutrients from thesechicken strips nourish our bodiesin your name. Amen.

JAREDAmen.

Jared claps his hands and rubs them together in anticipationas Jessica and Brian take their seats.

MIKAELAHey, you guys arent doubles!

JESSICAIm training. Foods free. Plus,--

(nodding to Brian)--he needs to start trying themenu.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 7.

JARED(to Brian)

The penne is really good.

Brian plays with the bowl of pasta with his fork, lookingunimpressed.

BRIANLooks amazing!

JARED(to Brian)

You went to W-S-U?

BRIANI did.

JAREDWhatd you study?

BRIANI got my bachelors in Oenology.

JAREDAwesome, like, braces and stuff?

BRIANNo, I studied the process of winemaking.

JAREDSo what do you wanna do with that?

Grow wine?

Brian chuckles a little and sees Jared is serious. He looksto Mikaela and she too is unfazed.

BRIANMore or less.

Brian takes a bite of his penne. A disgusted look spreadsacross his face as he slowly chews.

MIKAELAWhats wrong?

Brian grabs his water. He dramatically forces a swallow andthen takes a drink of his water. Jessica smiles nearinglaughter.

JESSICAWhat wine would you pair that with?

(CONTINUED)


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10/32

CONTINUED: 9.

JESSICA(to Brian)

Look at you making friends on yourfirst day.

BRIAN

I feel so very fortunate.

MIKAELAYoure officially a fuzzy-buddy!

BRIANWhy would you guys willingly calleach other that?

MIKAELAWhat do you mean?

BRIAN

I mean, its kinda... you dont getwhy its awkward?

Mikaela seems a little uncomfortable and begins looking downat her chicken.

MIKAELAMaybe to some people, but not me.When I hear fuzzy I dont thinkof anything sexual. I have aboyfriend.

Brian looks perplexed.

BRIANI didnt mean to say-

MIKAELABretts really a great guy. He hasso many manly qualities, you know?And hes not fuzzy. Hes hairy. Ifit was hairy-buddy thatd be weird,but not fuzzy-buddy because Imonly attracted to men.

Brian stares wide-eyed at the camera. Mikaela takes anotherbite of her food and her eyes dart to each of them makingsure they arent looking at her.


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10.

END OF ACT I

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 11.

ACT II

INT. THE FLOOR - LATER

The restaurant is full. People CHATTER, silverware CLINKS,

babies CRY, and staff darts every which way.

Jared and Mikaela are standing behind Brian, Jessica, andEDGAR, 35 and Mexican, who are all at computers.

JAREDI was so shocked Amelia got votedoff! She was, like, my favorite.

MIKAELAUgh! Are you kidding? Her falsettowas like listening to boilinglobsters.

JAREDMy wife said the exact samething...

MIKAELAAnd her shoes, did she thi-- tabletwelve.

Mikaela beelines for a table and Jared stays put.

JARED TALKING HEAD

JAREDI watch a lot of TV with my wifeand she has certain shows shelikes. She fills me in on thedaytime stuff when I get home andmake dinner. Then we watch two orthree a night after I put our sonto bed and she takes a bath.


Jessica and Brian have just gotten off a computer. TIFFANY,the hot young hostess, walks up and looks Brian up and down.

TIFFANY(still staring at Brian)

Jess, table twenty-one just gotsat.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 12.

Tiffanys gaze catches Brians. Jessica furrows her brow ather, then promptly hands Brian a pen and her notepad.Tiffany breaks away back to the hostess stand.

JESSICAAre you ready?

BRIANYeah, no problem.

JESSICAHead in the game?

BRIANAbsolutely.

Brian remains standing.

JESSICA

Ok, theyre waiting.

Brian realizes hes immobile and turns around. He approachesthe table, a family of four. The father is wearing aCabelas hat and a sleeveless flannel.

BRIANGood evening everyone, and welcometo The Peach Pit. My name is Brianand I will be your server. Wouldanyone like to begin with acocktail or perhaps--

CABELASWere ready to order.

Brian is taken aback by his interruption.

BRIANOh, ok, but would you like to startwith something to drink?

CABELASWe all want water.

BRIANOk, we do have a special tonight--

CABELASDont try and sell us nothin. Itaint like were shoppin aroundfor used cars. We know what wewant.

(CONTINUED)


14/32

CONTINUED: 13.

BRIAN(to the Mother)

Ill start with you, Maam.

Shes still looking through the menu.

MOTHERSomeone else go. I dont know yet.

Brians jaw clenches in frustration.

BRIANWell, by all means, Im ready whenyou are.

The family remains quiet for a moment as they scan the menu.

BRIANIll go ahead and start with those

wate-

CABELASIll have the steak. Well-done, butnot burnt.

BRIANThere are at least 6 differentsteaks, sir.

Cabelas opens up the menu and starts flipping through thepages. Behind him, Jessica winces to the camera.

INT. ELSEWHERE ON THE FLOOR - CONTINUOUS

Jared and Mikaela meet up again and resume theirconversation.

MIKAELA--did she think she was going to becold on stage?

JAREDThats true. I like the blackcountry singer guy.

MIKAELAThats just because hes black andhe sings country.

JAREDCome on, you have to admit thatskinda cool. Hes actuall--

(CONTINUED)


15/32

CONTINUED: 14.

Jared stops at a computer and Mikeala continues on. Shepasses behind Brian and Jessica.

Brian storms away from Cabelas table with Jessica in tow.She hands him her servers card for him to swipe.

JESSICAListen, Garon, if a guy is wearinga Cabelas hat and no sleeves, hesnever referred to a drink as acocktail. It probably triggered ajerk homophobic reaction, makingyoure his mortal enemy.

Brian doesnt respond. He marches to the computer and slidesthe card. It doesnt read. He tries again. Nothing happens.Frustrated he steps aside and hands Jessica the card.

Jessica slides the card once and it works fine. Jared stands

next to Brian with coins spread out over the computerterminal.

JARED(to Brian)

Whats twenty dollars minus sixteenfifty-five?

Brian is slowly putting his order into the computer. Jaredtaps him on the shoulder. Brian snaps--

BRIANWhat!

JAREDEasy Whiney, dang.

JESSICA(to Jared)

Its three forty-five.

HEATHER, a long haired free-sprit, walks up and waits to usea computer. Brian is staring at the screen, following hisfinger back and forth as he looks for an item.

JESSICAWeve gotta hurry up.

Jessica steps forward to take Brians place. He heaves asigh and steps back by Heather who places a hand on hisshoulder and leans in about an inch from his face.

(CONTINUED)


16/32

CONTINUED: 15.

HEATHERRelax, friend. Everything has comefrom and will return to perfectsynchronicity.

She smiles warmly and Brian looks at her with a confused

expression.

HEATHER TALKING HEAD

HEATHERThe fickle stresses of this lifeare too inconsequential to wasteenergy on. That is why I brewed aconcoction in my apartment lastnight to help temper the negativityaround me.

She pulls a tie-dye flask from her apron and unscrews thetop.

HEATHERI feel completely at peace withtoday.

She takes a swig. One Gulp. Then two.


While Jessica finishes up the order, the young busser,

JACOB, a giant ginger, walks by with arms full of dishes.The plate stacked on top teeters as Jacob walks.

JACOBHey, Whiney, could you grab thattop plate for me.

Jared laughs and sticks up a hand to high-five Jacob despitehis obvious inability to reciprocate. Brian grabs the plateand follows Jacob to the back.

JACOBThanks, Bro.

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Jacob sets his stack down on the dish pit. Brian sets hisplate down, grabs a knife off the plate and tosses it into atub of cleaning solution.

(CONTINUED)


17/32

CONTINUED: 16.

The knife splashes back onto MARKUS, the gangsterdishwasher.

MARKUSWhoa, man! Calm down. Calm down.

BRIANSorry!

MARKUSTake your time, Turbo, its allgood. Hey--

Markus leans under the dish racks and looks Brian in theeye. Brian leans forward to listen.

MARKUSYo, man, if you really need to calmdown. I got you covered. First time

is half price, got me?

Brian looks at Jacob, who is cleaning plates into thegarbage can. Markus sticks out a damp, dirty hand to shake.Brian regretfully shakes it.

BRIANThank you. But, no thank you.

MARKUSYou know where to go though, right?

BRIAN

Yeah, man.

MARKUSYou let me know, Whiney.

Brian turns away, wipes his hand off on his apron, and looksconcernedly at the camera.

INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS

Crystal leans over the bar to talk to a hipster girl with anose ring. Mikaela tries to eavesdrop while she waits forsome drinks.

CRYSTALI was up past forty-four on my bikeand found a trail.

(CONTINUED)


18/32

CONTINUED: 17.

HIPSTER GIRLWhat are you riding?

Suddenly the blender turns on while KYLIE, the cute barback,makes a Mudslide, which makes Crystal inaudible. Mikaelaseems offended.

MIKAELAHave Crystal help you if you cantkeep up.

KYLIEShes with a guest.

MIKAELAWhy is her guest more importantthan me!

Kylie looks quizzically at Mikaela.

MIKAELAI have guests, too! Just hurry...


The kitchen gets more hectic as food piles up in the window.Jared comes in yelling, while Nick fields orders and Shawna,a round 42 year old, fills a tray full of glasses.

JAREDI need my Crispy Oriental!

NICKOne sec! I need runners! Hot foodbefore cold drinks!

SHAWNAI just got triple sat!

NICKThats not my fault--

SHAWNANick, sweetie, would you just shut

the hell up a minute!

Nick looks to Brian in desperation.

NICKNew guy!

Brian walks up to the expo-line and grabs a plate of onionrings with 2 plates.

(CONTINUED)


19/32

CONTINUED: 18.

NICK(to Brian)

Table eighty-two.

BRIANWheres that again?

NICKHow would I know?

SHAWNA(to Brian)

Corner booth in the bar. Thanks,hun.

INT. BAR - MOMENT LATER

Brian sets down the food on the table.

BRIANAnything els--

MALE CUSTOMERWheres the extra barbecue sauce?

Tyler walks up to the table.

BRIANIll get some--

TYLER

Did Brian forget the barbequesauce? Dont worry, folks, Ill beright back with some.

Tyler is gone as soon as he finishes, and leaves Brianstanding awkwardly at the table.

BRIANSorry...

Jessica walks up to Brian on her way to get drinks from thebar.

JESSICAWhere have you been? Tabletwenty-one? The fat homophobes needtheir water.

Jessica darts off and Brian hurries to the back, cursingunder his breath. He forgot. He kicks open the swinging doorto the kitchen.


20/32

19.


Heather is clearing plates in the dish pit. Brian walks inand starts grabbing glasses. Jeff is standing across thekitchen.

JEFF(to Brian)Wash your hands!

Brian sets a glass down, and begins to wash his hands.

Meanwhile, Tyler is yelling at Nick.

TYLERNick! Barbecue sauce! Is it thathard?

NICK

Hold on a min--

TYLERIts your job, dumb-ass!

HEATHER(calmly to Tyler)

Its not Nicks fault hes terribleat his job. Take a chill pill.

MARKUSI got chill pills!

Brian lines up four glasses, scoops ice into them, and putsthem under the spigot. Beside him, Edgar places three drinksin one hand, grabs a forth with his other, and walks out.

Brian looks at his waters, and precariously places twoglasses on his hand. And then a third.

He turns to exit. Nick hands a ramekin of barbecue sauce toTyler, who turns quickly and bumps into Brian. The glassesin his hands shift.

He tries to save it but he loses control. All three glassesCRASH to the floor.

The cooks, Markus, Tyler, Heather and Nick all startwhooping and hollering in mock cheering.

Jacob walks in from the dining room with a stack of dishes.

(CONTINUED)


21/32

CONTINUED: 20.

JACOBJob opening!

END OF ACT II

(CONTINUED)


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23/32

CONTINUED: 22.

BRIANSir, theyre cooks, not magicians.

Brian follows Jessica as she walks by.

BRIAN

I hate that gay bastard.

JESSICAYou said cocktail...

BRIANPlease tell me that this isntcommon.

JESSICAId be lying.

They make their way back to the computer station. Jessica

opens a book.

JESSICAIts not always bad, though.

She shows Brian a $15 tip on a $50 check.

BRIANNot bad!

JESSICATheyre regulars. Come in twice aweek and ask for me. Always hook me

up. This isnt common, though, sodont expect it. Not at first.

Brian notices that there arent any other employees around.

BRIANWhere is everyone?

Jessica looks around and notices theyre alone too.

JESSICAIts eight oclock.

JARED TALKING HEAD

Jared stands outside while the rest of the staff behind himsmokes cigarettes..

(CONTINUED)


24/32

CONTINUED: 23.

JAREDPretty much everyone in therestaurant business smokes. If youdont smoke then you pretend yousmoke so that you can get a breakat eight oclock. Thats me, I

havent done any kind of narcoticin over two years!

Jared pulls a medallion from out of his pocket which reads"2 Years Sober" on one side and on the other side "SilverLining Rehabilitation Center"

JAREDI kicked a coke addiction when Iwas seventeen. Youngest in myclass.

Jared is very self-satisfied.

INT. THE FLOOR - LATER

The restaurant has died down considerably. Jessica and Brianrefill salt and pepper shakers as Cabelas and Co. areheaded for the door.

JESSICACross your fingers.

BRIANItll be fine.

Brian waves.

BRIANThanks for coming in!

He gets no response.

BRIAN(to himself)

Pleasant people.

He walks up and grabs the check off of the table. He opensthe book and sees a big 0 with a line through it on thegratuity line. Jessica walks up and helps Brian clear thetable. Brian is stunned.

JESSICAShould I guess?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 24.

BRIANYouve got to be kidding me.

JESSICAYou got stiffed. They didnt likeyou, whatd you expect?

BRIANIts common courtesy!

JESSICAIts not the first time and wontbe the last.

BRIANThats where youre wrong. I servedfor two years and I was never oncestiffed.

Tyler walks into the conversation.

TYLERDid I just hear we have a virgin inthe house?

BRIANI feel so violated.

TYLERDid you get his number?

BRIANDo you leave your number when yourape someone?

TYLERDepends.

(beat)But dont worry, Jessica here getsstiffed all the time and she lovesit!

Jessica rolls her eyes and Tyler walks off laughing at hisown joke. Brian and Jessica take dishes to the back.

BRIANHes a real charmer.

JESSICAThats certainly the nicest thinghes ever been called.

Jeff walks out onto the floorand stands before Jessica andBrian.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 25.

JEFFWell, Jess, howd Ryan do on hisfirst day?

Brian looks a little worried and looks to Jessica, whos allsmiles.

JESSICAHe did great! Got the hang ofthings pretty quickly. Needs tolearn to use a tray, but other thanthat, everything went well.Customers loved him.

Brian gives a short laugh of disbelief. Jeff seems worriedby it. Brian composes himself.

BRIANOh, I just cant believe I droppedthose glasses. I saw Edgar do it--

JEFFEdgar is a freak. I think hes anactual alien.

Jeff looks to camera horrified that he let the statementslip. He looks to Jessica.

JEFFI mean, you cant do it, Jess,right? So its not just becauseEdgar is a Mexica... I didnt meanany of the words I just said.

Jeff then turns and goes straight back towards the office.Jessica and Brian take a seat at a nearby table. Jessicastarts organizing her money.

BRIANThanks for for that.

JESSICAIts nothing, really. I just didntsee the upside to telling him thatnot only did you destroy company

property, but you also wereincredibly slow, and insulted everyguest you came into contact with.

BRIANWell, thanks...

Jessica pulls a ten dollar bill from her stack of cash andsets it in front of Brian who eyes it suspiciously.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 26.

BRIANWhats that?

JESSICAIts your tip for helping me out.

BRIANAre you kidding? I just slowed youdown.

JESSICAYou took a couple of my tables.Dont worry about it.

BRIANWait a second, I didnt getstiffed. I got you stiffed. Iactually lost you money.

JESSICAJust take it.

BRIANBut, just because you got stuckwith me doesnt mean you shouldhave to accept less money.

JESSICAConsider it part of your training.Accept pity. Swallow your pride andbe grateful. There will be plentyof times when you will deserve

something and wont get it.

EXT. PARKING LOT - LATER

Jared walks Mikaela out to her car.

MIKAELAYour wife needs to come insometime. Im sure wed get along.

Jared bursts out laughing. He puts his finger up to stopMikaela so he has time to finish.

MIKAELAWhy not? Maybe we could set up a TVdate or something.

JAREDWith you and my wife?

(CONTINUED)


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29.

INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

Shawna and Jessica roll silverware alone in the prep area.

SHAWNASo how did you like Brian?

She accentuates the name as if its a juicy secret.

JESSICAWhat about him?

SHAWNAHe was following you around allnight long.

JESSICAThat was his job. He was shadowingme.

SHAWNAMhmmm. He sure was.

JESSICAWhat you think you saw was abyproduct of a managerialassignment.

SHAWNADont try and overcompensate withprofessional B-S.

Jessica laughs bashfully.

SHAWNALook at you all bubbly and fit tobust!

Jessica rolls her eyes.

JESSICAOh, you dont know what youreblathering about.

SHAWNADeny it all you want, Sugar.

Jessica continues rolling with a hint of a smile at thecorner of her mouth.


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30.

SHAWNA TALKING HEAD

SHAWNAI met Carols dad...

Her eyes dart up trying to remember.

SHAWNA...my second husband, on the firstday at a restaurant job. There wasan instant attraction. Always usedto follow me around asking for somefries with my shake.

Her face, full of sweet memories, suddenly turns sour.

SHAWNAHe met his next wife on her firstday, too, while we were still

married. I tell you, if I saw thatbitch in the street today Iwould... The point is, a restaurantbrings people together... andthat... nothing can stop love. Noteven my second marriage.

END OF ACT III

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 31.

TAG

EXT. PARKING LOT - LATER

Jessica walks to her car with her coat on. A BEEP emits from

her pocket. She reaches into it and grabs her cell phone.The screen indicates a text message.

It reads: "Tyler: U still comin over tonite?" Jessicaquickly hides her phone back in her pocket. She looksguiltily at the camera and quickens the pace to her car.

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