_Small_4 Phong Cach Lam Viec

C A C H THLfC T A O DUNG CAC MOI Q U A N H $ B A T HIEU QUA CAO NHAT THEO T l N H C A C H CA N H A N

p h o n g e a c h

lam viec

Rober t Bo l ton & D o r o t h y Crove r B o l t o n

E P L E S T Y L E S A T W O R K 3

l i t '

NHAXUITBAN m L^OO0NG-XAH0llP,

4 PHONG CACH L A M VIEC

THU VIEN KHOA HOC KY THUAT BUI) GIEN

4 PHONG CACH LAM VXC Ban quyen tieng Vit 2006 Cong ty Sach Alpha Cuon sach dirge xuat ban theo hgfp dong chuyen nhuvng ban quyen giua Cong ty Sach Alpha va AMACOM - Hi?p hgi Quan trj Kinh doanh Hoa Ky

PEOPLE STYLES AT WORK: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better, by Robert Bolton, Dorothy Grover Bolton. Copyright 1996 Ridge Associates, Inc. Published by AMACOM, a division of the American Management Association, International, New York. All rights reserved. Phii rrach ban thao: Tran My Hoa Bia: Tran Van Phu'Q'ng Lien ket xuat ban: C6NG TY SACH ALPHA 1646, DQi Can, Ba Dinh, Ha Npi Dien thoai/Fax: (84-4) 722 6237 Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.alphabooks.vn Lien he ve djch vu ban quyen sach & v&n hoa pham Email: [email protected] Lien h ho*p tac ve ban thao hoc nhan cac ban djch Email: [email protected] DUNG TlT&N THAT, HAY MUA SACH THAT !!! Cat diem can lull y khi mua sach Alpha: - Bia in mau tren gia'y Couche day, can mix, hinh anh ro net. - Bia 4 co tern chong hang gia. - RuQt sach in tren giay Bai Bang ro rang, sac net. Hay tim mua nhirng cuon sach cua Alpha.

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ROBERT BOLTON DOROTHY GROVER BOLTON

4 P H O N G C A C H

LAM VIEC

Thanh Ngan, Thanh Huong dich

N H A X U A T B A N L A O D O N G - XA H Q I

T, . . HOC KY THUAT BbftJ DIEN

PHU BAN:

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Cong ty Sach Alpha

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v i e t n a m w o r k s Nhan Tai. Co Hoi. Thanh Cong.

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L o i g i a i t h i e u

B a t ky nha lanh dao cung phai doi mat voi mpt trong nhung thach thiic Ion nhat trong linh vuc quan ly la

van de nhan su. Mdi quan he giua con nguoi vol con nguoi trong cong viec, dac biet la trong xa hoi hien dai, ngay cang tra nen phuc tap va cang thing. Moi quan he nay chi phoi, tac dpng va anh huong rat Ion den chat lupng, nang suat va hieu qua lam viec ciia tap the cung nhu cua tung ca nhan.

Doi vdi moi ca nhan, thanh cong trong cong viec va hanh phiic trong cupc song phu thuoc rat ldn vao kha nang hp xay dung mdi quan he vdi ngudi khac: ddng nghiep, khach hang, nha cung cap, gia dinh, hang xdm... tot den muc nao. Tuy nhien hau het mpi ngudi, ke ca nhung ngudi dupe cho la xuat sac trong viec tao dung va duy tri cac moi quan he deu phai thua nhan "nhung van de ve con ngudi" thuc su phiic tap va khd khan hon chiing ta thudng nghi.

Ban than chung tdi, trong qua trinh dieu hanh va quan ly cong ty cung gap phai nhung khd khan nhu vay. Cong ty la tap hpp ciia nhieu ca nhan vdi nhung phong each, diem manh, difim yeu khac nhau, lam sao de dieu hda cac diem khac biet nay, gan ket tat ca cac thanh vien thanh mot the thong nhat, ddng thdi phat huy cao nhat kha nang ciia timg ngudi la van de khong he don gian. Dieu nay thuc day chung

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4 PHONG CACH LAM VIEC

toi phai tim ra each thuc, giai phap de thuc hien muc tieu do. Va chung toi da tim duoc chiec chia khoa minh can khi doc cuon 4 phong each 1dm viec (People styles at work) ciia hai tac gia Robert Bolton va Dorothy Grover Bolton. Cudn sach da giup tdi thay rd nguyen nhan cua mpi true trac, vudng mac edng ty chung tdi gap phai trong mdi quan he giua nhan vien vdi nhau, giua ban lanh dao vdi nhan vien, trong chinh ban lanh dao. Tuyet vdi hon nua la cud'n sach da cung cap cho chung tdi nhung giai phap thong minh de giai quyet van de nay, do la:

Tu xac dinh phong each lam viec ciia ban than va xem ngudi khac danh gia ra sao ve phong each lam viec ciia minh. Tu do, di6u chinh thai dp va each ung xii cua ca nhan trong mdi quan he vdi nhung ngudi cd phong each lam viec khac nhau de' nhanh chdng cai thien ket qua cong viec.

"Doc" dupe thai dp va hidu dupe each ung xii ciia ngudi khac de tim ra each lam viec phii hop nhat vdi hp va tim duac tieng ndi chung vai mpi ngudi nhung van giu dupe phong each ciia minh.

Nhan thuc dupe hau qua va su bien doi cua cac phong each trong tinh trang cang thing de dieu chinh hpp ly each lam viec vdi nhau.

Hieu tac hai ciia nhung pham chat tot khi thai qua va each ung xii trong nhung tinh hudng dac biet.

Day thuc su la mpt cud'n cam nang can thie't de xay dung thanh cong cac mdi quan he khong chi a noi lam viec, ma con trong gia dinh va xa hdi. Cudn sach dua ra nhung

6

LOITUA

each ung xii khoa hoc, da dugc kiem chung qua thuc tien de tat ca mpi nguoi: nhan vien, nha quan ly, doanh nhan... deu co the ap dung trong cong viec hang ngay.

Chiing toi tin rang neu cac ban hieu ro ve nhung phong each lam viec va ap dung nhung chi dan trong cudn sach nay thi chic chin ban se tien xa hon trong tat ca cac mdi quan he. Cud'n sach ciing rat huu ich neu dupe chinh bp phan nhan su trong cac cong ty ap dung de hudng dan nhan vien va qua do giiip ngudi lanh dao xu ly cac khd khan ve nhan su, ve quan he giua con ngudi.

Vi ly do do, chiing tdi da chpn xuat ban cudn sach vao thang 9/2006 vdi ten gpi 4 khuon mat noi cong so. Trong lan tai ban nay, chiing tdi chpn mpt ten gpi mdi cho cudn sach la 4 phong each 1dm viec, de cudn sach gan gui va de hieu hon vdi ddc gia.

Xin tran trong gidi thieu ciing ban doc.

Thang 1/2008 N G U Y E N C A N H B I N H

CONG TY SACH ALPHA

7

M U C L U C

Loi gioi thieu 11

PHAN I. Hieu nguoi khac 17

CHUONG l . Dung ban khoan tai sao chung ta lai gap cac van de ve nhan su 19

CHUONG 2. Con nguoi de du doan hon ban nghi 29

CHUONG 3. Phong each cua ban la gi? 39

CHUONG 4. Hai bi quyet de hieu nguoi khac 45

CHUONG 5. Tu hieu minh qua y kien cua nguoi khac 59

CHUONG 6. Bdn con duong dan tdi thanh cong 65

CHUONG 7. Cac phong each dudi anh huong cua su cang thang 105

PHAN II. Su dieu chinh phong each: Bi quyet xay dung mdi quan he co hieu qua 135

CHUONG 8. Tim tieng ndi chung vdi ngudi khac 137

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CHUONG 9. Bdn budc dan tdi mdi quan he tot dep hon 153

CHUONG 10. Lam the nao de nhan ra phong each cua ngudi khac 167

CHUONG 11. Nhung pham chat tot khi thai qua 181

CHUONG 12. Ung xu trong nhung tinh hudng dac biet 201

CHUONG 13. Ba phuong phap de tao lap duoc nhung mdi quan he td't 221

PHU LUC. Cach dieu chinh cho phu hop vol mOi loai t inh each khac n h u the nao? 237

PHU LUC I. Danh cho ngudi on hda: Dieu chinh cho phu hpp vdi mdi loai tinh each khac nhau nhu the nao? 239

PHU LUC II. Danh cho tuyp ngudi thich lanh dao: Dieu chinh cho phu hpp vdi moi loai tinh each khac nhau nhu the nao? 269

PHU LUC III. Danh cho nhung ngudi thich the hien: De dieu chinh cho phu hpp vdi moi loai tinh each khac nhau nhu the nao? 307

PHU LUC IV. Danh cho ngudi nang ve dc phan tich: De dieu chinh cho phu hop vdi moi loai tinh each khac nhau nhu the nao? 339

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L O I G I O I T H I E U

S u thanh dat trong cong viec va hanh phiic trong cupc song phu thuoc rat nhieu vao kha nang hoa

dong voi nhung nguoi xung quanh. Tuy nhien, viec co duoc moi quan he tot dep voi nhung nguoi ban tiep xiic nhu d6ng nghiep, khach hang, nha phan phoi, giam doc, ban be, hang xdm. nguoi quen... lai khong de dang. Dii vay van co nhiing nguoi tao ra va duy tri cac moi quan he nay tot hon nhung nguoi khac. Tuy the, hp van gap nhung "rac roi con nguoi" nay sinh trong cupc song. Do do, each tot nhat di mpi nguoi co the nang cao tinh hieu qua trong cong viec va huong thu cupc song day dii hon chinh la tim ra nhung phuong phap thich hpp hon de cai thien moi quan he voi nguOi khac.

Su khac biet giua con nguoi dan den nhung van de ci ia con nguoi

Su khac biet giua con nguoi la nguyen nhan chinh dan toi su bat dong. Vi du. co ban dong nghiep Michelle ciia chung toi lam mpi viec voi toe dp nhanh "nhu ten ban". Co di nhanh, no: nhanh va quyet dinh nhanh chong. Co luon ket thuc cong viec vpi vang. Buon cuoi thay, Michelle thuong phai lam viec chung voi anh ban John von tinh can than. Anh di cham, noi cham va quyet dinh cham.


Anh thuong cham tre trong khau hoan thanh cong viec. Mac du su khac biet nay khong phai la van de qua to tat nhung neu khong duoc xu ly kheo leo thi chung co the lam hong mdi quan he cong viec cua Michelle va John. Han ban khong con nghi ngd ve chuyen lam the nao nhung khac biet nhu the nay cd thi lam hong cac mdi quan he ciia ban, can trd cong viec ciia ban hay gay ra su cang thang khong can thie't trong cudc song ciia ban. That may man la nhung khac biet nhu vay cd the duoc xii ly dn thda, nhd the ma cac mdi quan he trong cong viec duoc cai thien, nang suat lao ddng tang va cudc song ciia chiing ta them sinh ddng va phong phii. Ban cd the bien nhung khac biet nay thanh loi the chu khong de chiing can trd ban. Mac du cud'n sach nay tap trung vao viec cai thien mdi quan he trong cong viec nhung nhung dinh nghia nay cd the duoc ap dung trong mdi quan he vdi tat ca mpi ngudi, vdi bat ky ai.

So lupng va su da dang ciia tinh khac biet giua con ngudi la qua ldn. Vi the, chiing ta khong the thich nghi vOi mpi tinh each ciia nhung ngudi ma ta gap trong mpt ngay nhat dinh. Carl Jung, mpt trong nhung nha tarn ly hpc hang dau, da tim ra phuong phap hieu qua nham giai quyet su khac biet nay. Cudn sach ciia dng cd tieu de Cdc dang tdm ly (Psychological Types) duoc xuat ban nam 1921 mieu ta bon dang con ngudi: (1) Nhung nha tu tuong, (2) Nhung ngudi cd nang luc tri giac, (3) Nhung ngudi cd nang luc true giac va (4) Nhung nguoi nhay cam. Vi du, neu ngudi dong nghiep ciia ban la nha tu tuong va ban la ngudi cd nang luc tri giac thi ban cd the quyet dinh lam nhung dieu khien cho ddng nghiep ciia

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LOI GIOI THIEU

ban cam thay thoai mai hon khi hai nguoi lam viec cung nhau. Mot van de dat ra trong truong hop cua Jung do la mpt van de tarn ly nen no mieu ta la trang thai ben trong, chii khong phai la thai dp ben ngoai, do vay rat kho de' nhan ra phong each ciia nguoi khac. Theo cuon sach ciia Jung, truong hop ciia Myers-Briggs cung gap phai nhung han che tuong tu.

Hinh 1-1. NhOng phong each khac nhau co the tao ra nhung ket qua thuan ldi nhu1 nhau

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4 THONG CACH LAM VIEC

Sau khi Jung xuat ban cudn Cdc dang tdm ly khoang bdn nam, tien si David Merrill, mpt nha tarn ly trong linh vuc cong nghiep cung phat trien mpt phuong phap tap trung vao su khac biet giua con ngudi ve mat thai dp ben ngoai chii khong phai la su khac biet ve trang thai ben trong. Merrill su dung cong nghe may tinh hien dai va ky thuat Lhd'ng ke phat trien de chia con ngudi thanh bdn phong each. Cd nhieu diem tuong ddng giua each chia cua Merrill va Jung. Tuy nhien, each chia cua Merrill mang tinh ung dung cao hon nhieu bdi no dupe dua tren su quan sat thai dp true tiep. Dieu nay cd nghia la mpt sd lupng trung binh ngudi cd the nhan ra phong each cua ngudi khac kha khach quan ma hau nhu khong can su chi din. No tao ra mpt each vd cung hieu qua de "doc" ngudi khac va thiet lap mdi quan he cd hieu qua hon.

Cach cai thien mdi quan he trong cong viec chu yeu dua tren tac pham cua Merrill mac dii cd nhung diem khac nhau quan trong. O nhung chuong ke tiep se cd su giai thich cu the ve phuong phap lam viec vdi nhung ngudi khac. Nhu vay, ta cd the ket luan:

Cd bdn phong each con ngudi, khong cd phong each nao tdt hon hay te hon nhung phong each kia.

Moi phong each cd nhung diem manh va diem yeu ve tinh each khong trung vdi bat cu phong each nao.

Mdi nguoi cd mpt kieu phong each nhat dinh cd anh hudng tdi cong viec cua ngudi do.

Loai ngudi duoc chia cong bing vao mpt trong bdn kieu phong each.

14

LOI GIOI THIEU

Con nguoi thuoc moi phong each deu co kha nang thanh cong.

Nhung hanh vi cua mdi loai phong each co xu huong anh huong toi ba phong each con lai.

Be tao ra mdi quan he cong viec thuc su hieu qua thi can phai biet chap nhan lam quen vdi nhung hanh vi cd phong each rieng biet cua ngudi ddng nghiep.

Du lam viec noi cong so hay d nha thi su thanh cong va niem hanh phiic deu la ket qua ciia tinh dung nap nhung khac biet ve thai do. Rd rang la neu ban cd the tim ra phuong phap thu hep khoang each giua ban va nhung nguoi khac thi ban cd the lam cho cudc song ciia minh va ciia nhirng ngudi khac de chiu hon, hanh phiic hon va cd y nghia hon. Do la dieu ma cudn sach nay mud'n giii gam.

Tdng quan ve cudn sach

Phan I se cung cap cho ban nhung hieu biet thuc te va nhay cam ve ban than minh va nhung ngudi khac.

Chuong 1 trinh bay cac diem khac nhau co ban giua nhung phong each va each thiic ma su khac biet nay cd the lam phat sinh nhung rac rdi khi ban tiep xuc vdi nhung nguoi cd tam quan trong ddi vdi su thanh cong va hanh phuc ciia ban va ich loi thu duoc khi giai quyet tot cac mdi quan he nay.

Chuong 2 ly giai rang mac dii nhung ngudi khac cd the phan ung voi ban thi ban van cd the tim ra phuong phap de dung hoa vdi hp co hieu qua. Chuong 3 giiip ban nam dupe cac so lieu ve phong each ciia chinh

15


minh. Chuong 4 trinh bay hai khia canh cua thai do von la bi quyet de' hieu ban than minh va hieu nhung nguoi khae. Voi Chuong 5, ban hoan chinh su danh gia cua minh ve nhung phuong phap de hieu nguoi khac. Moi loai phong each vol nhung diem khac biet quan trong duoc mo ta trong Chuong 6. Chuong 7 chi ra con nguoi thuoc m6i phong each se phan ung nhu the nao truoc qua nhieu sue ep.

Phan II trinh bay phuong phap xay dung moi quan he co hieu qua hon nho viec ung dung nhung kien thuc tiep thu duoc tu Phan I. Chuong 8 gioi thieu vd "su phu hop phong each" - each tao ra tieng noi chung voi nhung nguoi co tinh each khac han ban.

Chuong 9 trinh bay bdn budc dung hda vdi phong each cua nhung ngudi khac. Chuong 10 hoc each nhan ra phong each cua ngudi khac. Phan ldn mpi ngudi thudng qua lam dung phong each ciia minh di lan at ngudi khac va lam mat di tinh hieu qua ciia chinh minh, vi vay Chuong 11 se giiip ban khac phuc dieu nay bang each giam bdt nhung dien giai rudm ra va khong phii hop trong phong each ciia ban. Chuong 12 huong dan ban lam the nao de bien su phii hop phong each thuc su hoat ddng co hieu qua trong nhung tinh hudng cd van de.

Cudn sach cd bdn phu luc quan trong danh cho mdi phong each nham dua ra nhung hudng dan cu the ve each thuc lam the nao de phii hop vdi nhung nguoi thuoc mdi phong each.

16

P H A N I

Hieu ngirdi khac

Toi co the tu minh tranh dugc nhirng ton that vdi nhung nguai khdc neu toi hoc each hieu duac ho.

- R A L P H E L L I S O N ,

tac gia cuon Bdn thdo cua nhd van (The Writer's Craft) J O H N H E R S E , bien tap vien

.KHOA HOC KY THUAT BtJtLOIEN

PHU BAN:.

C H 1/ O N G 1

D u n g b a n k h o a n t a i s a o c h i i n g t a

l a i g a p c a c v a n d e v e n h a n s i r

T rong cupc song ddi khi ban gap phai mdi bat hda khong mong mud'n va vd ich voi nhung ngudi quanh

ban. Cong viec nhieu khi khong duoc sudn se ngay ca khi ban cd nhung mdi quan he tot dep nhat. Ddi vdi nhung mdi quan he rac rdi hon, mdi bat hda giua con ngudi cd the am anh va de dpa nghiem trpng tinh than cung nhu sue lam viec ciia con nguoi. So vdi tat ca nhung rac rdi trong cudc song chiing ta gap phai thi su phiic tap giua con ngudi nhin chung dai dang va khd giai quyet nhat. Chinh vi nhung rac rdi trong cong viec cd the' kha nghiem trong nen phan Ion chung ta uu tien hon so voi nhung rac rdi giua con ngudi. Ben canh do khi nhiing khd khan trong cong viec khd duoc giai quyet thi thong thudng do la do ciing xuat hien mpt hay nhieu rac roi nghiem trpng giua con nguoi.

Nhung rac rdi giua con ngudi duong nhu gay ra su mat mat Ion nhat cho mdi ca nhan chung ta, dac biet la

19


nhirng anh huong ve mat tinh cam. Chung co the pha vo giac ngu ciia chung ta. Thong thuong chung keo dai tuong nhu vo tan va ngay cang trd nen xau di. Do vay, su khac biet giua con ngudi khong phai la nguyen nhan duy nhat gay ra mdi quan he cang thing giua con ngudi, tuy nhien, chiing la nguyen nhan chinh trong nhung vu hieu l im va xung dpt.

Mpt dieu chic chin ring mpi ngudi deu cd nhung rac rdi con ngudi. Cac nha khoa hoc hanh vi phat hien ra ring 75% loai ngudi hoan toan khac vdi ban. Rat nhieu ngudi trong so hp cd vai trd quan trpng ddi vdi su thanh cong ciia ban:

Suy nghi khac nhau

Quyet dinh khac nhau

Sii dung thdi gian khac nhau

Lam viec vdi nhip dp khac nhau

Giao tiep khac nhau

Che ngu cam xiic khac nhau

Giai toa cang thing khac nhau

Cach giai quyet cac y kien bat ddng khac nhau.

Khong can thie't phai xau di. Cung khong can thiet phai tot hon. Tuy nhien, cin phai cd su khac biet. Xet ve mat hanh vi thi ban la thieu so va nhiing nguoi khac cung vay.

Hay thii tuong tupng cong viec ciia ban ludn gap ric rdi do su khac biet giua ban vdi nhung ngudi dong

20

DUNG BAN KHOAN TAI SAO.

nghiep. Cac nha tarn ly hoc xa hpi nhan thay rang nhung nguoi qua khac biet so voi nhung nguoi khac la nguoi:

Gap khd khan trong viec ket ban

It giao tiep

Khong thu hut dupe ngudi khac

Chen ep ngudi khac chi de the hien cai tdi ciia minh.

Dieu nay ly giai tai sao de lam viec hieu qua vdi nhung ddng nghiep khong phai la mpt viec de dang. Dieu nay ddi hdi ban phai no luc rat nhieu de thich ling vdi tinh each rieng ciia ngudi khac. Ban cang suy nghi ve no nhieu bao nhieu thi ban cang it cam thay ngac nhien bay nhieu khi gap phai nhung rac rdi giua con ngudi trong cong viec.

Spencer Noblock da phai hoc dieu nay rat vat va. Anh von lam viec rat an y vdi giam ddc ciia minh la Jan Wite trong hon 3 nam. Sau do, Jan thuyen chuyen cong tac. The nhung Spencer khong the lam viec an y vdi vi giam ddc mdi ten la Bill Freed. Nguyen nhan khong phai do Bill la ngudi vd ly, trai lai dng nhan dupe su yeu men ciia hau het nhan vien. Spencer cam thay bdi rdi tai sao anh lai khong the lam viec hieu qua vdi Bill nhu anh da tung lam vdi Jan?

Spencer la mpt nha quan ly chu dao, ti mi. Anh tin rang nhung thong tin chi tiet rat can thiet khi dua ra mot quyet .dinh cd chat lupng. Anh yeu cau nhan vien cung phai thuc hien dieu nay khi hp nhan cong viec ve nha va sau do thong bao chi tiet cho anh. Day la each ma anh duy tri cong viec tai van phong ciia minh. Vdi nhung thdi quen ay, dieu tu nhien la Spencer mud'n cung cap cho vi

21


giam ddc mdi nhung thong tin tot nhat. Do Spencer qua de cao nhung thong tin chi tiet nen anh da can than ngoi va soat lai tat ca nhung diem tot cua mdi du an.

Spencer bdi rdi khi Bill ngay cang to ra lo lang trong cac cudc hop hang tuan. Anh nhan thay: Bill dudng nhu bat on khi Spencer thong bao ke hoach; tiep do Bill hut rat nhieu thuoc so vdi thdi quen cua dng. Ong di di lai lai trong phong duong nhu thieu kien nhan va la dang. Rd rang Bill dang cam thay that vong ve mpt so dieu Spencer lam. Tuy nhien, Spencer khong the biet do la dieu gi. Sau do, Bill can dupe biet trong van phong cua Spencer dang xay ra chuyen gi. Spencer da dua cho dng nhung bao cao giong nhu da timg dua va lam hai long vi cuu Giam ddc Jan.

Ddi luc Bill ndi vdi Spencer: "Hay dua cho tdi buc tranh tdng the cua van de nay. Tdi tin rang dng se lam viec cua minh sudn se".

Dii vay, Spencer van thay khdng thoai mai khi dua ra nhung ban bao cao tham chi con ngan gpn hon ca ban tdm tat; vi vay, anh tiep tuc lam nhung ban chi tiet. Cudi ciing dieu ma anh muon biet la lieu minh da hieu Bill chua.

Van de la Spencer da khdng chiu hieu cho Bill. Nhung Bill da dat minh vao vi tri cua Spencer. Ngay ca khi Spencer thay each minh trinh bay trong buoi hop lam Bill lo lang nhung anh van khu khu giu phong each cua minh. Neu hai ngudi khdng the tim dupe tieng ndi chung thi mdi quan he trong cong viec cua hp se tiep tuc bi huy hoai.

22

DUNG BAN KHOAN TAI SAO

Khi each thuc lam viec cua con nguoi khong phu hop voi nhau thi su cang thang se tang len va nang suat lao dpng giam xuong. Chac chan doi luc ban cung roi vao canh ngp tuong tu nhu vay boi so lieu thong ke cho thay rang cii bdn ngudi thi cd tdi ba ngudi rat khac biet so vdi ban. Va chic chan nhung ngudi nay nam trong so ddng nghiep cua ban.

Mpi nguoi xung quanh deu quan trpng doi vdi su thanh cong va hanh phuc cua ban

Trong tung khia canh cua cudc song, nhung ngudi xung quanh ban deu quan trpng dpi vdi su thanh cong va hanh phiic ciia ban. Nhung ngudi song hda ddng se song vien man hon va hanh phiic hon sau tat ca mpi viee hp da trai qua.

Ngay nay, hau nhu mpi cong viec deu ddi hdi ban phai hop tac chat che voi nhung ngudi khac. Cac nha phan tich xa hdi cho biet chiing ta dang chuyen tu nen kinh te cdng nghiep sang nen kinh te phuc vu. Trong thuc te, dieu nay cd nghia la cdng viec khdng chi ddi hoi su chuyen tam ciia con nguoi. Rd rang la mpi cdng viec deu doi hdi su cdng tac nhieu hon va chat che hon sc voi vai thap ky gan day. Kha nang hda dong vdi ngudi khac trd thanh nhan to quan trpng dan toi thanh cdng d bat ky vi tri nao trong cac to chiic hien dai.

Phai lam viec vdi nhieu ngudi luon duoc coi la trach nhiem hang dau ciia cac vi giam doc dieu hanh va nha quan ly. Do cac vi giam sat, nha quan ly va giam ddc dieu hanh ludn co mpt so ngudi bao cao lai moi viec nen tai

23


san qui gia nhat cua ho chinh la kha nang thu nhan hieu suat cong viec qua nhung nguoi khac. Trong nhung nam gan day, van de nhan su trong cong viec ciia cac vi giam ddc trd nen khd khan hon bao gid het. Trudc day, nhieu cdng viec duac giai quyet thong qua quyen luc thi nay phai nhudng chd cho t im anh hudng. Nhieu ngudi hy vong cac nha quan ly trao bdt quyen va khuyen khich su tham gia ciia nhan vien, tang chiic nang cua minh de tao nen mot tap the lam vide thuc su hieu qua. Va tat ca luc lupng lao ddng can phai thuc hien dieu nay - day la dpi ngu dang ngay cang trd nen da dang.

Mpt to chiic nghien cuu da tie'n hanh nghien cuu 21 vi giam ddc dieu hanh dang bi that the. Can cii vao su thanh cdng budc diu ciia hp, nhieu ngudi hy vpng hp se cd mpt vi tri cap hon trong to chiic ciia minh, tuy nhien su thang tie'n ciia hp ngung lai hoac su nghiep cua hp ket thuc khi hp budc phai nghi huu sdm. Nhiing vi giam ddc nay duoc dem ra so sanh vdi nhung vi giam ddc thanh dat nhat. Hai nhdm giam ddc tai nang nay bdc Id nhieu diem tuong ddng va cd rat it su khac biet. Tuy nhien, cac nha nghien cuu cho ring su khac nhau ndi bat nhat giua hai nhdm chinh la: "Cd kha nang - hoac khdng cd kha nang nhan ra trien vpng ciia nhiing ngudi khac. Chi cd 25% cac vi giam ddc that the duac coi la cd kha nang nay; trpng khi do 75% cdn lai thudc ve nhung yi giam ddc thanh dat".

Trong mdi trudng lam viec hien nay, cac ca nhan tham gia va nhan vien tuyen d i u ciing cin phai hap tac tot voi mpi ngudi. Tren thuc te, xu hudng cua mpi to chiic ddi hdi mdi nhan vien phai cd nang luc xay dung mdi quan he

24

DUNG BAN KHOAN TAI SAO.

cong viec hieu qua. Ro rang chung ta dang buac vao ky nguyen ma d do nang luc lien ket mpi nguoi sao cho hieu qua la diem quan trpng hang dau tai mpi vi tri trong mdi trudng lam viec.

Nhan to chinh dan tdi su thanh cdng chinh la kha nang hda ddng vdi nhung ngudi xung quanh, trong khi do nguyen nhan chinh dan tdi that bai cua tat ca cac phong each lam viec deu nam o nhung mdi quan he khdng dupe td't dep. Cudc nghien cuu vdi muc dich tim ra nguyen nhan hang dau dan tdi viec nhan vien phai nghi lam dua ra nhung ke't qua tin cay dang ngac nhien trong nhieu thap ky. Hau he't nhung cudc nghien cuu chi ra rang, ngoai ly dp tinh gian bien che; khoang 80% nhan vien budc phai thdi viec do khdng cd quan he ca nhan td't.

Hay bien nhung khac biet thanh loi the chii khong de chung lam anh huong toi ban

Nhung phien toai cd the' ham chua nhieu co hdi. Mac du ban cd thd gap thach thuc khi lam viec vdi nhung nguoi hoan toan khac biet so vdi minh nhung ban cung cd the bien nhung khd khan do thanh loi the chu khdng de chung lam anh hudng toi ban.

Ludn cd mot loi the canh tranh la nham de trau ddi mpt kha nang ma cau ldn - cung nho. Neu ban hpc duoc each lam viec hieu qua vdi moi kieu ngudi thi ban se trd nen sang gia trong con mat dng chu. Mpt hpc vien chuyen nganh quan ly dai dien cho 500 dcanh nhan nong nghiep may man da ke't luan tai mot cudc hoi thao: 'Toi ludn luon nghi rang minh cO quan he td't voi moi ngudi va

25


phuong phap lam viec nay da mang lai cho toi mpt chut loi the".

Con mpt phuong phap khac de budc su khae biet phuc vu cho nhung loi ich cua ban. Tat ca chiing ta ai ciing co nhung nang khieu nhat dinh. Khong ai co the gioi a mpi linh vuc. Ban can phai thuong xuyen trau d6i kha nang ciia minh t i i nhung difim manh ciia nhiing nguoi khac. Khi ban trd nen dieu luyen trong viec tap hpp nhung nguoi cd kha nang bo sung cac ky nang cho minh thi ban se trd thanh mpt ngudi manh hon va mpt nha lanh dao da tai.

Tren thue te do la dieu da timg xay ra vdi Spencer. Cudi ciing, anh cung nhan ra rang minh can tim ra mpt phuong phap mdi phii hpp vdi vi giam ddc mdi ciia minh. Spencer nhd da timg nghe ai do ndi rang mdi ngudi deu cd phuong phap lam viec khac nhau va de hpp tac td't dep vdi ngudi khac, ban can hieu phong each ciia ngudi do va nhung diem khac biet so vdi ban. Tu dd ban tim ra phuong phap di hda ddng vdi phong each lam viec ciia hp. Bdi vi khdng con each nao khac ngoai viec lam cho mdi quan he nay tie'n trien tot dep. Spencer thii mpt chien lupc mdi. Anh bd nhieu chi tiet cu the trong ban bao cao va timg budc ddi thoai vdi Bill. Chinh kha nang thich nghi ngay cang ldn ciia Spencer ngay lap tuc lam diu di su cang thang va giiip anh cd dupe mdi quan he cdng viec tot dep hon.

Spencer cho biet trong vOng mpt nam, mdi quan he giua anh va Bill tham chi con trd nen hieu qua hon so voi Jan truoc kia. Anh tho 10: 'Tdi va Jan da ciing nhau lam duoc nhieu viec, tuy nhien chiing tdi lai qua giong nhau",

26

DUNG BAN KHOAN TAI SAO

"Bill thuong co each nhin mpi viec da dang hon toi. Anh ay cung quan tarn den mpi nguOi nhieu hon va thiic thoi hon. Nhung diSm nay giup can bang phuong thuc chi tap trung vao cong viee va tieu tiet ciia toi. Hien nay, chiing toi dang hpc hoi lan nhau, chiing toi dac biet thanh cong trong viec ban y tuong cho cac cong ty hang dau va nhan duoc nhieu loi moi hpp tac ciia cac cong ty khac. Khi nang khieu ve ky thuat va hanh chinh ciia toi ket hop voi kha nang bao quat ciia Bill thi chiing toi se trd thanh mpt cap an y".

Neu mud'n lam viec hieu qua voi nhung ngudi cd dac diem pheng each hoan toan khac ban, ban nen du doan nhung ngudi do thich nghi voi cdng viec nhu the nao va hp muon dupe ddi xi i ra sao. Trong Chuong 2, ban se hieu dupe rang con nguoi de tien doan hon ban nghi.

27

C H l / O N G 2

C o n n g i r d i

de dir doan hon ban nghi

Ban da timg bi ai do gay kho de vi nhung dieu ban noi hoac lam chua? Chung ta hay ciing thao luan va

rut ra ket luan cua rieng minh.

Co the ban hanh dpng voi muc dich tot dep la chi hpc nhung dieu de lam nguoi khac gian du. That dang budn khi ban luon bi rinh rap boi nhirng phan ling tieu cue khong mong dpi ciia nguoi khac va ban ciing khong nghi minh dang bi nhu vay.

Nhirng kinh nghiem nhu vay lam cho nhieu nguoi da phai tir bo trong ndi that vong ve viec muon hieu nguoi khac. Co nhieu y kien cho rang "khong the du doan duoc nguoi khac". Neu do la su that thi no se la mpt tin cue xau. Ly do u? Vi du doan la yeu to quyet dinh cua thai dp.

Ddi vOi mdi hoat ddng trong cupc song, nhung du doan ciia ban hinh thanh nen thai do. Khi ban quyet dinh lam

29


mot dieu gi do, ban se du doan rang su lua chpn cua ban se phii hpp hon so voi nhung lua chpn khac. Khi ban tao ra su thay doi, ban du doan rang dieu kien moi se thuan lpi hon so voi dieu kien cu. Tham chi du bao con anh huong toi nhung hoat dpng khong may quan trpng cua chung ta. Ban van vpi nuoc boi vi ban du doan nuoc se chay ra. Ban xoay 6 khoa va day vi ban doan rang cua se md. Noi don gian du doan chi la nhan to quyet dinh thai dp. Ban nang dong mpt vai tro quan trpng va vd thuc cung vay. Thdi quen ciing chinh la he qua cua no. Tuy nhien, du bao ddng vai trd quyet dinh nen lam gi va nen tranh lam gi.

That ngac nhien con nguoi co the du doan duoc

May man thay thai dp ciia con ngudi khdng chi don thuan la cam tinh nhu ban chat von cd cua no. Cac nha khoa hpc hanh vi nhan ra ring thai dp con ngudi de du bao hon chiing ta nghi. Lay vi du la mpt cudc trung cau dan y. Ngay 4/11/1980, trudc khi cudc bau cu Tong thong chinh thuc dien ra, Hamilton Jordan, nguoi phu trach chien dich tai tranh cii Tong thong cua Jimmy Carter da cam tren tay ket qua ciia vong tham do cudi ciing. Ket qua nay du bao the bat loi cho Carter. Jordan binh luan rang: 'Tdi nghi do that nuc cudi. Khdng mpt ai tren dat nude nay bd phieu va chiing tdi biet minh da that bai". Ket qua ciia cudc bd phieu cung trung voi ket qua ciia cudc trung cau dan y - Ronald Reagan danh chien thang vang dpi. Cac cudc trung cau dan y chi ra kha nang dac biet dd du bao hanh vi bd phieu.

Nha tarn ly hpc Arnold Mandell dua ra mpt nghien cuu thu vi ve kha nang tien doan con ngudi. Qua quan sat ti

30

CON NGUOI DE DU DOAN HON BAN NGHI

mi cac cau thu trong dpi tuyen bong da qud'c gia, Mandell nhan ra rang mpt so thai dp nhat dinh cd moi quan he chat che voi nhung thai dp khac cua nhung tinh each hcan tpan khac biet. Khi ong tim ra bang chung ve mpt trong nhung thai dp nay, ong se dua ra mpt loi tien doan tuong doi chinh xac ve tinh each ciia nguoi cau thii. Cung liic do, ong dua ra luan diem co the du doan ve mpt cau thii trong dpi tuyen being da quoc gia chi bang each nhin vao tu dung quan ap ciia anh ta. Khi Mandell nhin thay mpt chiec tii quan ao sach se, ong se doan, ma thong thuong la doan chinh xac rang cau thii do choi trong hang tan cong, ton trpng tinh td chiic va ky luat, cham chi tap luyen voi nhung tran dau duoc td chiic chat che va la nguoi hoi de dat. Khi trong thay mot chiec tu Ion xdn, ong se du doan r ing chic chan cau thii do choi trong hang hau ve, khdng thich tinh td chiic, cd trach nhiem thach thuc voi quy dinh va luat le va khd quan ly hon nhieu so vdi ddng dpi ciia anh ta trcng hang tan cdng.

Mandell cd nang luc du doan chinh xac bdi dng da tu tao cho minh mpt hinh miu tin cay cd tinh chat dinh huong. Cac cudc trung ciu dan y vd'n the hien kha nang tien doan thai dp cung dua tren nhung hinh miu tro giup du doan. Hinh miu chinh la mpt "cdng cu ciia tri dc", day la cau ndi ciia mpt trpng nhung nha khoa hpc hang diu ciia the ki XVII.

Mot hinh mau td't chinh la su don gian hda thuc te huu ich. No cho phep ban loai bo mot so lupng ldn nhung chi tiet khdng cd lien quan hoac it lien quan, vi the ban cd the tap trung vao diem quan trong nhat: Mot

31


hinh mau chi ra cai ma ban dang tim kiem, giiip nhan ra nhung hinh mau co y nghia va ho tra trong viec trinh bay nhung dieu ma ban nhin thay. Ndi each khac, mot hinh mau cd the tach cac khia canh cua mpt tinh hudng, vi the ban cd co hdi tot hon de nam dupe ban chat ciia di6u ma minh mud'n hieu.

Neu nhung hinh mau qua huu ich trong viec tien doan con ngudi se hoat ddng nhu the nao thi tai sao lai khdng tao ra mpt hinh miu de du doan cac kieu ngudi khac nhau se cu xii nhu the nao va hp mud'n dupe ddi xii nhu the nao trong cudc song hang ngay? Do ciing la muc dich ciia cud'n sach Hinh mdu phong each xa hoi (The Social Style Model). Chiing tdi nghi ban se rat ngac nhien ve tinh huu dung ciia hinh miu khi ban hpc va su dung no de tao ra nhung mdi quan he cdng viec tot dep hon.

Cach day hon ba thap ky, nha tam ly hpc cdng nghiep -Tien si David Merrill - da vie't cudn sach Hinh mdu phong each xa. hoi (The Social Style Model) lam nen tang cho su tiep can phong each con ngudi. Cd nhieu hinh mau kieu nhu vay dupe tao ra de lam ciing mpt viec - giiip con ngudi hieu nhau hon va cd mdi quan he tot dep vdi nhung nguoi cd dac diem khac minh. Trong nhieu trudng hpp, chiing tdi nghi ring hinh miu nay se trd nen huu dung nhat khi dupe su dung trong mdi truong kinh doanh. Sau hai thap ky sii dung, truyen dat va nghien cuu chuyen sau hinh miu nay cung nhu cac ddi thii ciia no, chiing tdi tin tuong hon bao gio het tinh hieu qua cua mpt hinh miu co ban. Ddng thdi. chiing tdi ciing cac ddng nghiep cua minh da tien hanh nhieu cai tien ma chiing tdi nghi se giiip cho hinh miu trd nen hieu qua hon.

32

CON NGUOI DE DU DOAN HON BAN NGHI

The nao la phong each? Noi don gian, phong each cua ban la each ma nguoi khac nhin vao thai dp cu xu cua ban. Tuy vay, ban se hieu ve hinh mau thau dao hon neu sii dung mpt dinh nghia day dii hpn:

Phong each cua mot con ngudi chinh Id ldi cu xii quyet doan vd tiep thu. Loi cu xu rat huu ich trong viec tien doan each thiic md ngudi do mong mudn lam viec vdi ngudi khdc.

Hay xem mpt so nhan to co ban trong dinh nghia nay.

Thai do

Phuong phap hieu nguoi khac nay dupe phan biet voi cac phuong phap khac la do no chi chu trpng vao thai dp chu khong phai la nhan each. Thai dp la dieu ma cpn nguoi lam; la su the hien ben ngoai cua cupc song.

Noi each khac, mo hinh nay bao gdm ngon ngu hinh the. Con nguoi di nhanh nhu the nao? Anh ta hoac co ta sii dung cii chi nhieu ra sao? Con nguoi co the nOi to toi muc nao? Anh ta/C6 ta thay doi nhieu nhu the nao?

Do cung co the la t i i ngii ma con nguoi lua chon. Phai chang co nguoi mucin hoi y kien ciia ban hoac muon noi ve quan diem ciia chinh anh ta? Trung tam ciia cac cupc trao ddi la vi muc dich cong viec hay vi mdi quan he nao khac?

Nguoc lai, pham chat ciia mpt ngudi la tinh than; tinh each va dac diem thai dp. No bao gdm ca nhan to ben trong va su the hien ben ngoai ciia cuoc song.

Hinh mau nay khdng tham gia vao khia canh ben trong ciia suy nghi, thai dp tinh cam va gia tri. NO khdng khuyen

33


khich nguoi su dung dao sau vao cam xiic tham kin nhat cua nguoi ciing lam viec. Thay vao do, no day cho nguoi ta each hieu v6 thai do ma mpi nguoi deu nhin thay.

Loi cuxtr

Phpng each con nguoi dua tren ldi cu xu cua ngudi do. Ldi cu xir la mpt nhdm cac net dac trung tao nen mpt tong the' thong nhat, chat che. Chiing ta cd the hieu phong each bdi cac hanh vi thuong di ciing nhau. Cac hanh vi cd mdi quan he vdi ldi cu xu dupe ket ndi vdi nhau va cd su thong nhat chat che.

Chiing ta chua dii kha nang de hieu timg hanh vi. Ban can phai dung nhieu each de hieu nguoi khac. Learned Hand, mpt tham phan lien bang noi tieng da phat bieu: "Cudc song ciia con ngudi, giong nhu mpt tarn tham; no dupe ket thanh tir vd so spi len dan xen vao nhau va tao nen mot hoa tiet. Viec tach mpt spi len va nhin no diing mpt minh thi khdng nhiing dieu do lam hong ca tarn tham ma con khien cho spi len mat di gia tri".

Khi ban chii y mpt so thai dp trong each cu xu cua mpt ngudi thi ban cd the du doan ring nhirng thai d0 khac cung gan tuong tu nhu vay. Giong nhu Mandell, ban cd the tien doan ban chat hanh vi khdng dupe quan sat dua tren nhirng hanh vi ma ban da quan sat. Viec hieu ve ldi cu xii quan trpng den ndi tac gia ciia cudn sach Mini do thuy sinh (The Aquanan Conspiracy) ddng thdi la bien tap vien cudn sach Tap san ve nao (Brain/Mind Bulletin), Manlyn Ferguson da phat bieu: "Su that bai ldn nhat trong hpc tap chinh la each cu xii thieu van hda - khdng

34

CON NGUOI DE DU DOAN HON BAN NGHl

co kha nang coi trpng cac moi quan he va kham pha ra nhung y nghia cua no".

Th6i quen

Phong each cua con nguoi dupe hinh thanh tir thoi quen chu khong phai la nhung hanh vi thinh thoang moi xay ra. Do la nhung viec ma con nguoi lap di lap lai het ngay nay sang ngay khac trong mpt thOi gian dai ma khong he de y. Nhung hanh dpng co tinh chat thoi quen con dupe gpi la "ban chat thu hai" boi con nguoi phu thuoc vao chung theo ban nang. Vi du, chiec 6 to bat ngo xuat hien truoc mat ta thi se phai thing phanh cho xe di cham lai. Boi vi cac loai thai dp co lien quan toi phong each cua chung tro thanh thoi quen nen duong nhu chung ton tai tu nhien. Chung ta cam nhan thay chiing ngay 6 nha minh. Do la ly do tai sao phong each cua chiing ta thuong duoc gpi la "viing de chiu".

Ngay ca trcng mdi quan he voi ngudi khac, thai dp cua chung ta cung la thdi quen. Rd rang con ngudi khdng phai la ngudi may ludn lap di lap lai chinh xac timg hanh vi tham chi kieu hanh vi.

Ban nghi ngo u? Rit nhieu nguoi da td ra nghi ngd. Tuy nhien, hay suy nghi ve no mpt chut. Phai chang nhung nguoi trong phong lam viec cua ban cd nhung xu hudng thai dp ma mpi nguoi deu y thuc dupe? Vi du khi doc ban danh sach sau, hay dien vao cho trong ten mpt ngudi cu thfe phu hop voi su mieu t i trong bai.

35


thuong xuyen den muon trong cac cupc hen hoac cupc hpp.

hau nhu luon dung gio.

co xu the tro nen hoan hao.

co mdi quan he gan bd voi mpi ngudi.

ludn thich ke chuyen khi cd dip.

la ngudi khdng vd nghia, do la kieu ngudi "chi cd hanh ddng".

Phan Ion thai dp ciia chiing ta ton tai tuong ddi on dinh tu tinh hudng nay sang tinh hudng khac. Su nhat quan nay cho phep tien doan ngudi khac se cu xu nhu the nao trong tuong lai.

Du doan hanh vi co the xay ra

Khi chiing tdi khang dinh rang con ngudi co the du doan dupe, dieu do khdng cd nghia la chiing tdi cho rang ban cd the du doan dupe mpi hanh ddng ciia ngudi khac. Chung tdi cung khdng ket luan rang quy vi se biet chac chan ngudi khac se phan ung nhu the nao. Khi chiing tdi tiep xuc vdi nguoi khac, khdng cd hanh ddng nao goi la chac chdn - ma chi la co kha nang. Cum tu cd kha nang cd y nghia nhieu hon so vdi con so 0. Vi vay khi du doan ve ngudi khac, chiing tdi tranh nhung cum tu nhu "bat cii khi nao", "ludn ludn", hoac "khdng bao gio". Chiing toi sii dung cac cum tu nhu "thuong xuyen", "thong thudng", "cd xu hudng", "se", "hiem khi",... Trong nhiing trang tiep theo, nhin chung, chiing tdi se bd nhung tir nay de giiip cho viec

36

CON NGl/OI DE D\J DOAN HON BAN NGHI

doc de dang hon; tuy nhien, xin hieu cho rang chung toi dang noi ve "kha nang" chu khong phai la "su chac chan".

Mpt so nguoi duong nhu khong an tupng lam voi loi du doan dupe cci la "cO kha nang". Hp tim dieu gi khac chac chan hon. Tuy nhien, khi du doan mpt nguoi nhat dinh se phan ung nhu the nao, co the ban chang bao gid cd cau tra ldi chac chan hoan toan.

Chung tdi thay hai long vdi gdc dp khdng chac chin nay. Neu khdng cd no, khdng cd yeu to bat ngd trong cac mdi quan he vdi ngudi khac thi cudc song cua chung ta se mat di nhieu diem thu vi. Hon nua, neu song nhu mpt ngudi may vdi nhung ldi du doan dupe lap trinh sin, h i n cac ban se mat di mot trong nhung mdn qua qui gia: Su tu do cua con ngudi.

Chung tdi nghi rang quy vi cp the cai thien cd hieu qua cac mdi quan he khi cd su trp giup cua nhung k h i nang dii manh. Giong nhu James Thurber nhan thay ring: mpt chut "cd the" gia tri hon h i n mpt can "cd le".

Trong Chuong 4, chung tdi se gioi thieu cu the hinh m i u du doan thai dp cua ngudi khac. Truoc khi den vdi phan nay, trong Chuong 3, ban se cd mpt bing trie nghiem de xac dinh phong each cua minh.

37

C H l / O N G 3

P h o n g e a c h c i i a b a n l a g i ?

T ir hieu minh chinh la su khoi dau khdn ngoan. Chuong nay tap trung vao trie nghiem thai do nham

giiip ban tim ra phong each ciia minh. Day la budc quan trong dau tien de cai thien mdi quan he trong cdng viec.

Nguoi khac danh gi& ban nhu the nao

Phong each ciia ban khdng phai dua vao nhung danh gia ciia chinh ban ma dua tren nhung quan diem ciia ngudi khac ve ban - khdng lien quan den viec ban tu nhan thuc ve ban than nhieu hay it. De dien vao bang trie nghiem thai do, hay doc timg muc ve cac quan diem ma ban nghi ngudi khac se danh gia minh. No cd thi giup ban lua chon ba ngudi ma ban dinh ciing lam viec v i hay cd ging xem lai chinh minh qua con mi t nguoi khac khi ban lam bang trie nghiem nay.

Khdng cd phong each nao tot hoac phong each nao xau ma chi co su khac biet giua con nguoi. Su thanh cdng hay that bai deu khdng lien quan tdi bat ky phong each nao.

39


Trong ban trac nghiem duoi day, khong co lua chon nao tot hoac xau - khong co cau tra loi nao dung hoac sai.

Tuy nhien, m6i nguoi trong chung ta deu co mpt biic tranh ve nhung dieu ma chiing ta mong muon nguoi khac cung danh gia nhu vay. Boi vi chiing ta la con nguoi len luon co su khac biet ve nhiing hanh dpng hang ngay va each thuc chiing ta hi vpng nguoi khac danh gia ve minh. Hay ren luyen chinh ban than minh co muc tieu. Hay chpn nhiing muc ma thee von hieu biet tot nhat ciia ban, phan anh each nghi cua nguoi khac ve ban.

Nhung huong dan trong bang trac nghiem thai do

Khi ban lam bang trac nghiem nay, hay nho rang phong each ciia ban dupe the hien qua nhiing gi nguoi khac danh gia ve ban. Ban trac nghiem dua ra 18 cap danh gia voi hai 6 trong cho m6i cap. Hay chpn mpt trpng hai loi danh gia trong m6i cap ma theo ban no thi hien chinh xac nhat su danh gia ciia nguoi khac ve minh. Doi liic ban co the nghi chang co loi danh gia nao phii hpp. Tuy nhien, ban hay chpn loi danh gia ma ban cho la mieu ta gan diing nhat nhiing danh gia ciia nguoi khac ve minh nhu the nao. O mpt so muc ban cO the nghi rang minh dupe nguoi khac danh gia theo muc nay nhung nhung nguoi khac lai nghi ban duoc danh gia then muc khac. Dei vOi nhung muc nay, ban hay chpn loi danh gia thee da so (ngay ca khi chi co 51%).

M6i muc trong ban trac nghiem co chua mpt tir sp sanh nhu: "Nhieu hon, it hon, mem mai hon, to hon, cham hon, nhanh hon...". Ban co the thac mac: "Nhieu hon cai gi?",

40

PHONG CACH CUA BAN LA GI?

'To hon cai gi?"... Trong timg truong hop hay nghi rang do la "nhieu hon", "it hon", "to hon"... so voi mpt nua dan so.

Chi ra su lua chpn ciia ban bang each danh dau X vao 6 trong ben trai loi danh gia trong m6i cap ma ban nghi se the hien chinh xac nhat nhung dieu nguoi khac danh gia ve ban. Trong vi du duoi day, neu ban nghi dap an "it su dung tay trong khi noi hon" la dap an chinh xac hon "sii dung tay nhieu hon khi noi chuyen" hay danh dau X vao d trong dupe ndi voi ddng dau cham.

it si> dung tay khi noi chuyen hon

sii dung tay nhieu hon khi noi chuyen

BANG TRAC NGHIEM THAI DO

Luu y chi danh dau X vdo 6 trong md ban cho Id dung trong moi cap.

1. nga ngudi nhieu hon ve phia sau khi trinh bay y kien

diing thang hoac ciii ngudi nhieu hon ve phia tri/6c khi trinh bay y kien

2. su dung tay it han khi noi chuyen

su dung tay nhieu han khi noi chuyen

3 bieu hien nhieu ndng lirang han

bieu hien it ndng luang han

4 co khd ndng dieu khien su van dpng cua co the nhieu han

de cho chuyen dpng cua co the tu do khong theo y muon nhieu han

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5. co cu chi it mgnh me hon

cu chi mgnh me hon

6. dien com qua net mat it hon

dien cam qua net mat nhieu han

7. giong ni nhe nhang han

gipng noi to hon

8. xuat hien vai thdi dp nghiem tuc hon

xuat hien vui ve han

9 thich dat cau hoi han

thich phat bieu han

10 gi9ng dieu thay doi it hon

gipng dieu thay doi nhieu han

11. de ddng vupt qua dp luc cong viec hon

kho vupt qua ap luc cong viec han

12. it thich hap voi viec the hien cam xuc

thich hop vai viec the h len cam xuc

13. do du nhieu hon khi the hien y kien

it do du nhieu han khi the hien y kien

14. cac cupc doi thoai ve cong viec nhieu hon

cdc cupc doi thoai ve con ngudi nhieu han

15. giai quyet cac tinh huong kho khan cham han

giai quyet cac tinh huong kho khan nhanh hon

42

PHONG CACH CUA BAN LA GI?

16. thien ve thuc te va logic hon

thien ve cam xuc va y kien hon

toe dp cham han

17.

toe dp nhanh hon

18.

khong thich chuyen phiem hoac ke chuyen vat

thich chuyen phiem va ke chuyen vat han

Giai th ich bang t r i e nghiem

Mac dii each tot nhat la nen hoan thanh bang trac nghiem trxroc khi ban nghien cuu ve phong each con nguoi, nhung tot hon het la nen de lai phan dien giai ke't qua trac nghiem cho toi khi ban biet nhieu hon ve hinh mau. Vi vay, chiing toi se de lai mpt so trang truoc khi chi cho ban each xac dinh phong each cua minh qua bang trac nghiem. Phong each ciia ban dua tren hai khia canh cua thai dp se duoc mieu ta trpng Chuong 4.

43

C H l / O N G 4

H a i b i q u y e t

de hieu nguoi khac

Trong lich su da co khong it nhung phuong phap cd giup chung ta hieu v6 nguoi khac. Tuy nhien, ve co

ban, hau het nhung phuong phap nay thieu chinh xac hoac qua phiic tap ddi voi nhieu nguoi. Mpt khd khan khac nua la phai theo kip hang ta hoac hang tram loai tinh each khac nhau.

Hal khla canh ciia thai do

Dac tinh ciia su tie'p can phong each con nguoi tap trung vao hai khia canh ciia thai dp. Trpng so nhiing tin hieu phiic tap phat ra tu ngudi khac, ban chi cd the quan sat duoc hai nhdm thai dp de xac dinh phong each ung xii ciia nguoi do.

Lam the nao de giam bat hang tram dac diem khac nhau xuong con hai ma van cO the tien doan dupe thai dp

45


ciia nguoi khac? Bi quyet ciia buac dot pha nay nam trong kham pha rang cac loai hanh vi xac dinh co xu huong lien quan den mot nhom cac net dac trung gpi la hpi chung.

Vap nhung nam 60 ciia the ki XX, Tien si David Merril phat hien ra rang hai nhOm thai dp la su quyet doan va phan ung nhanh vo ciing huu ich cho viec tien doan nguoi khac se cu xii nhu the nao. Hai khia canh thai dp nay co quan he mat thiet voi viec lap ra bang phong each xa hpi dupe mo ta trong Hinh 4-1.

Sit quye't dodn

Trong truong hpp nay, muc dp quye't doan ciia mpt nguoi la muc dp thai dp ciia nguoi do dupe danh gia la manh me hoac co tinh chat chi huy. Dieu nay giiip ta lien tuong toi ban bien thien ve muc dp quye't doan. Chiing ta khong the cam nhan duoc su thay doi thai dp trong bang bien thien dupe the hien bang phan in dam dan tu trai sang phai trong Hinh 4-2.

Ve diem nay, chiing ta chi xem xet kha nang thai dp ciia mpt nguoi quyet doan hon hay it quye't doan hon SP voi mpt mia dan so. Bang bien thien su quye't doan bi mpt duong true chia doi (xem bang bien thien trong Hinh 4T). Nhiing nguoi co thai dp dac trung thuong quye't doan hon mpt nua dan so con lai va hp thuong duoc bieu hien a phia ben phai ciia bang bien thien. Nhung nguoi it quye't doan hon mpt niia dan so con lai the hien mpt each cu xii it manh me va it chi huy hon. Ta gpi hp la nhung nguoi nam ben trai ciia bang bien thien.

46

HAI BI QUYET DE HIEU NGUOI KHAC

Hinh 4-1. Bang bien thien ve phong each xa hpi

Assertiveness: Su quyet doan Responsiveness: Tinh de cam, su phan ung Less: It hon More: Nhieu hon

47


Thuong co su khac biet dang ke giua tinh quyet doan va tinh hieu chien. Tuy nhien, trong truong hop nay, khong co su lien quan nao ve su khac biet giua thai dp quyet doan va thai dp hieu chien. Tat ca nhung dieu ban can biet la lieu rang thai dp cua mpt nguoi manh me, chi huy hon hay it manh me, chi huy hon mpt nua dan SP. Thai dp hieu chien la dau hieu ciia viec su dung pheng each chii khong phai la phong each ciia mpt nguoi.

Hinh 4-2. Bang bien thien tinh quyet doan

left-of-t he-line right-of-the-line

-i I V E I V I E s s 1 1 1

Left-of-the-line: Ben trai dong ke Right-of-the-line: Ben phai dong ke

Hay xet mpt nua con lai tren bang bien thien, doi liic mpi nguoi cho rang muc dp quye't doan thap hon the hien thai dp hay e de. Tuy nhien, khong phai nhu vay. Tren thuc te mpt so it nguoi quyet doan hon la nhung nguoi e de, con so dong nhung nguoi khac chi don gian the hien minh qua nhung each it manh me hon. Xet trong mdi quan he vdi phong each con ngudi, su khac biet giua thai

48


dp it quyet doan hon va thai dp khiim num la khong co lien quan. Tat ca nhung dieu ban can biet la lieu rang thai dp ciia mpt nguoi it manh me va chi huy hon mpt nua dan so hay khong. Thai dp e de la mpt bieu hien ve con nguoi sii dung phong each ciia hp nhu the nao chi? khong phai do la phong each ciia hp.

Khi chiing toi noi mot nguoi it quye't doan hon hay quye't doan hon, chung toi khpng am chi rang anh ay/cd ay luon luon nhu vay. Mpt so thai dp ciia nguoi it quyet doan hon co the rat manh me. Mpt so thai do ciia nhiing nguoi quye't doan hon co Lie it tinh chi huy hon. Tuy nhien, phan Ion thai do ciia con nguoi deu nam trong mpt mien tuong ddi gioi han ciia bang bie'n thien. Con nguOi thudng nghi rang hp van ddng tu do trong bang bien thien ve su quyet doan. Tuy nhien, con ngudi la tao vat ciia nhung thdi quen va dieu do hiem khi nao khac dupe.

Hay nho rang muc dich ciia chiing ta la khang dinh tinh quyet doan chinh la bieu hien thai dp ciia con ngudi. Muc dp quyet dpan ciia mpt ngudi thep each nhin ciia nhung ngudi khac khdng nhat thie't phan anh muc dp thdi thuc ben trong ciia ngudi do.

Nhieu nguoi it quyet doan hon cd mpt su thdi thuc manh me ben trong, nhung thai dp dien hinh ciia hp se khdng duoc xem la manh me va chi huy. 6 hp toat len phim chat mem mong va tram tinh hon nhung ngudi ddng nghiep cd thai dp quyet dean. Cum tir "ban tay sat trong mpt gang tay nhung" dung de mieu ta nhung ngudi cd thai do mem mong nhung lai an chua mpt y chi va quye't dinh manh me.

49


Nho lai Chuong 3 ve phong each con nguoi, chung ta da su dung nhung tu ngu so sanh nhu "nhieu hon, it hon, to hon, mem hon...". Khi gia su muc dp quyet doan ciia mpt nguoi, chung ta ciing lam tuong tu: chiing ta quyet dinh xem nguoi khac danh gia nguoi do "nhieu hon hay it hon" nhung bieu hien ve thai dp SP voi mpt nua dan SP.

Nhung thai do ddc trung cua nhung ngudi quye't dodn hon

Nhung nguoi quyet doan hon co nhiing dac trung ve thai dp. So voi nhiing nguoi it quyet doan hon, hp co xu huong:

The' hien tinh nhiet huyet cao hon

Di lai nhanh hon

Cii chi manh hon

Giao tiep bang mat manh me, cham chu hon

Dung thing nguoi hay ciii nguoi ve phia truoc, dac biet khi trinh bay quan diem

Noi nhanh hon. Noi to hon. Ndi nhieu hon

Giai quyet v in de nhanh hon

Quyet dinh nhanh hon

Cd tinh mao hiem cao hon

Cd tinh ddi d iu nhieu hon

Trinh bay y kien, yeu cau va chi d in true tiep va cd trpng tarn hon

Ddn tarn siic cho mpt quyet dinh hay mpt hanh ddng nhieu hon

50


De gian du hon.

Phan Ion nhung nguoi quyet doan co hau het nhung phong each nay chu khong nhat thiet phai co tat ca.

Thai do dac trung cua nhung ngudi it quyet dodn hon

Nhung nguoi it quyet doan hon co xu huong:

The hien tinh nhiet huyet it hon

Van dpng cham hon

Cii chi it manh me hon

Giao tiep bang mat it manh me va cham chu hon

Dung nga ve phia sau tham chi khi trinh bay y kien

Noi cham hon. Noi nhd hon. It noi hon

Giai quyet cac van de cham hon

Quyet dinh cham hon

It thich tinh mao hiem

Khdng thich tinh ddi dau

Trinh bay y kien, yeu cau va chi d in thieu tinh true tiep va trong tam

It cd ging hon trong viec dua ra quyet dinh hay mpt hanh ddng

Bay td su gian du khdng nhanh bing.

Phin Ion nhung ngudi it quyet doan hon cd h i u het nhung phong each nay chu khdng nhat thiet phai cd tat ca.

51


Sir phan ung nhanh

Ddi vdi trudng hop nay, phan ung nhanh chinh la mpt khia canh quan trpng khac cua thai dp. Muc dp phan ung nhanh cua mpt ngudi la muc dp dupe ngudi khac nhin nhan khi ngudi do the hien cam xuc hoac the hien su y thuc ve cam nhan ciia ngudi khac. Su tien dan ciia thai dp thee chieu doc ciia bang bien thien ve phan ling nhanh dupe the hien bang vung tdi dan khi ban nhin tu tren xud'ng dudi trong Hinh 4-3.

6 phan nay, chiing ta chi xem xet lieu rang thai dp ciia mpt ngudi cd xu hudng phan ung nhanh hay cham hon mpt niia dan so hay khdng. Mpt lan nua, bang bien thien trong Hinh 4-3 bi mpt duong cat ngang (bang bien thien ve tinh quyet doan trong Hinh 4-1).

Nhung ngudi de dat hon duac the hien d phia dudi.

Khi chiing ta ndi con ngudi phan ung nhanh ve mat cam xiic dieu do cd nghia la hp ludn hanh ddng nhu vay. Ddi liic hp cung bi suy yeu kha nang the hien cam xiic.

Nhin chung hp la nhiing ngudi hay the hien cam xiic hon nhung ngudi d phia tren. Tuong tu nhung ngudi cd kha nang kiem che cam xiic ciia minh thi ddi khi lai the hien no. J.P. Morgan, mpt dng chu nha bang, noi tieng la mot ngudi khdng than thien trong cdng viec va trong cong ddng. Mac du vay, ddi khi, dng doc "Bai thanh ca Noel" cung vdi gia dinh thi nha tai phiet khdng quen the hien nay trd nen vd cung xuc ddng. Vi the, khi chiing tdi ndi mpt ngudi bi kiem soat ve mat cam xuc hay su phan ling lai cam xiic, chung tdi khdng am chi rang tat ca thai dp

52

HAI BI QUYET DE HIEU NCDOI KHAC

cua hp bi gioi han trong bang bien thien. Mac dii vay, phan Ion thai dp cua hp dupe the hien trong phan han hep cua bang bien thien.

Hinh 4-3. Bang bien thien tinh de cam

LESS

j LP above-the-tone

Above-the-line: Ben tren dong ke Below-the-line: Ben duoi dong ke

53


Nguoi ta tin rang nhung nguoi bi kiem che ve mat cam xuc chi don gian la thieu cam giac. Tuy nhien, nhung nguoi 6 phia tren co the nhirng cam giac manh. Hp chi khong thich the hien chung.

Lay Joe DiMaggio lam vi du. Phong vien Warner Wolft noi voi anh ta: ' Joe, anh noi tieng la mpt cau thu kho khan mac dii anh khong bao gio cam thay ap luc...".

Di Maggio dap lai: "Dieu do khong diing. Hp noi rang toi co guong mat lanh nhu tien. Tuy nhien, chi co toi moi biet dieu gi dang dien ra ben trong. Trong nhirng nam gan day ben trong toi luon xao dpng. Tuy ben ngoai toi khong the hien cam xiic nhung ben trong toi luon day ap cam xiic".

Can nhan manh rang muc dich ciia chiing ta la khang dinh tinh phan ling d6ng nghia voi thai dp cua mpt nguoi. Do la nhirng hanh dpng ma bat cii ai co the nhin hoac nghe chii khong phai la nhung dieu dien ra ben trong con nguoi hp. De giiip ban hinh dung ra nhu the' nan la thai dp phan ung nhieu hon va phan ling it hon, hay xem ban liet ke ciia mpt nguoi cu the tren moi niia ciia bang bien thien phan ung.

Thai do dac irung cua nhiing ngudi phan ung nhiiu hon

Duoi day la mpt so dang thai dp ma ban se nhin thay hoac nghe thay ve mpt nguoi phan ling nhieu hon. So voi mpt nua dan SP it phan ling hon, nguoi phan ung nhieu hon co xu huong:

The hien cam xiic coi mo hon

54


Than thien hon

The hien tren net mat nhieu hon

Cii chi tu nhien hon

Giong ndi thay ddi nhieu hon

Thoai mai vOi nhung cau phiem

Sii dung cac cau chuyen vat hay chuyen dai nhieu hon

Thi hien mdi quan tarn nhieu hon den cac mat ciia con ngudi

Thich lam viec voi ngudi khac

Cach an mac gian di hon

It cd ke hoach trong viec sii dung thoi gian.

Phan ldn trong so hp cd hau het nhung phong each nay nhung khdng nhat thiet phai cd tat ca nhung dac trung do.

Nhung hdnh vi ddc trung cua nhung ngudi it phdn ung hon

Nhung nguoi it phan ung hon cd chung hau het nhung dac trung ve hanh vi dudi day. So voi nhung nguoi phan ling nhieu hon, hp cd xu hudng:

Bieu Id cam xiic it hon

De dat hon

It bi^u Id bang net mat hon

It sii dung cii chi hon

It cd su thay doi giong nOi hon

55


It hung thii hon va khong co nang khieu ke nhiing cau chuyen phiem

Su dung thuc te va logic nhieu hon nhiing cau chuyen vat

Tap trung vao cong viec nhieu hon

Thich lam viec mot minh

Cach an mac lich su hon

Co ke hoach trong sii dung thoi gian

Hon mot niia so nguoi it phan ung co hau het chu khong phai la tat ca nhiing dac trung nay.

Du ban a bat ky vi tri nao tren bang bien thien, do deu la nhung vi t r i tot

Giao su Merrill da co nhiing nghien cuu nhan manh tarn quan trong ciia tinh quyet doan va phan ung. Ong tien hanh nghien cuu de tim hieu xem moi kliia canh ciia thai dp co moi quan he nhu the nao den su thanh cong ciia mpt nguoi. Ong va nguoi d6ng nghiep ciia minh Rpger Reid thong bao rang:

"Khi bdn nghien cuu ciia chiing toi hoan (hdnh... chung loi cd bang chung thuyet phuc rang nhung ngudi thanh cdng irong kinh doanh nhat Id nhtaig ngudi quyel dodn hon cd Hon the nua, dii tinh phan ung cd xuat hien hay khong thi duong nhu no khdng gay dnh huong lau ddi tdi su (hdnh ccing".

56


Nhirng nguoi duac coi la co su nghiep thanh cong xuat hien tren tat ca cac mat ciia tinh quyet doan va phan ung - doi khi hp la nhung nguoi chi kem thanh cong hon mpt chut SP voi nguoi khac.

That may man con nguoi cO the thanh cong khi 6 bat ky vi tri nao trong vung tinh each quyet doan va phan ung bdi rd rang khdng the thay ddi vinh vien muc dp dac trung ciia mdi loai thai dp.

Thdi quen cd mdi quan he vdi hai khia canh quan trpng ciia hanh vi va trd thanh tham can cd de'd thdi diem chiing ta budc vao tudi trudng thanh. Vi du, mac dii ddi liic cd the tang hoac giam su bieu Id cam xiic ciia mpt nguoi nhung se vd ciing khd khan de thay doi can ban muc dp dac trung trong viec the hien cam xiic ciia ngudi do. Daul Eckman, hpc gia noi tie'ng ve nhirng ban nghien cuu ve ngdn ngu hinh the, vie't rang: "Khi bat ky mpt thdi quen nao duoc hinh thanh, hoat dpng tu ddng va khong ddi hdi su y thuc thi rat khd de xda bd no. Tdi tin rang nhung thdi quen nay bao gdm ca sir che ngu cam xuc... Cd the viec xda bo no la dieu khd khan nhat".

Con nguOi thuong tu phe binh va muon thay doi con nguoi minh. Mac du qua trinh tu phat trien la mpt hoat ddng mong muon, nhung that quan trpng de ton vinh tham chi an mimg ve nhung khia canh khdng thay doi can ban va can thiet trong cudc song ciia ban. Dieu nay ddng nghia voi viec chap nhan cap do dac trung ciia tinh quyet doan va phan ung.

57


Su quyet doan va phan ung la hai khia canh quan trpng nhat trong thai dp cua m6i nguoi; khi ket hpp ciing nhau chung se hinh thanh nen pheng each con nguoi.

Ban co muon biet phong each cua minh khong? Luc truoc chiing toi da khong chi ra dieu nay, tuy nhien, do la muc dp su quyet dean va phan ung ma ban da danh gia co ban trac nghiem treng Chuong 3. Bay gio khi ban da hieu ve hai khia canh thai dp nay, ban co the sii dung thong tin do de xac dinh phong each ciia minh trong Chuong 5.

58

C H Lf O N G 5

T i r h i e u m i n h

q u a y k i e n c i i a n g u a i k h a c

N hu chung toi da de cap, viec nguoi khac danh gia nhu the nao ve thai dp cua ban se xac dinh phong

each cua ban. Viec tim hieu sau vao khung tham chieu cua nguoi khac luon la mpt thach thuc. Viec tim hieu nguoi khac danh gia khach quan ve ban cung dac biet tro nen kho khan. Do viec tu hieu minh qua y kien cua nguoi khac la mpt viec qua kho khan va day thach thuc nen trong chuong nay chung toi chi de cap mpt so phuong phap giup ban xac dinh pheng each cua minh.

Ten phong each: mot diem xau can thiet

Be trao doi ve cac phong each de dang thi moi phpng each phai CP mpt cai ten. Tuy nhien, mpt trong nhung van de khi dat ten phong each la chung ta cO the tap trung vao su goi y cua cai ten chu khong nhin vao nhung pham vi day du cua nhung dac trung ve thai do trong mOi phong each. Vi du cai ten "nguoi thich lanh dao" thuong duoc

59


dung de ehi mpt loai phong each, no chi gpi ra mpt phan thai dp cua phong each da dang do. Neu chi chu y vao ten gpi "nguoi thich lanh dao" mpt so nguoi co the nghi ve kieu nguoi doe tai, hong hach, san sang day nguoi khac den duong cung. Mpt so "nguoi thich lanh dao" co nhung dac diem nay nhung nhieu nguoi lai khong nhu vay. Giong nhu nhung nguoi thuoc phong each khac, nguoi "thich lanh dao" co the sin sang tham gia va phan quyen cho nguoi khac. Ve b in chit, m6i loai phong each phong phii hon nhieu so voi ten gpi ciia no.

Trong Chuong 6 chiing toi se mo ta diy du ve m6i loai phong each. Tarn thoi xin cac ban luu y ring ten gpi ciia moi loai phong each chinh la dau hieu the hien muc d0 dac trung ciia tinh quyet doan va k h i nang phan ung.

Nhiing ngudi nang vi 6c phan tich: It quyet doan hon va it phan ling hon, it bieu lp cam xiic hen SP voi mpt nua dan so.

Nhung ngudi thich lanh dao: Quyet doan hon va tinh de cam it hon (it bieu lp cim xiic hon) so voi mpt niia dan so'.

Nhiing ngudi ua the hien: Quyet doan hon va de cam nhieu hon (bieu lp cim xiic nhieu hon) so voi mpt nua dan SP.

Nhung ngudi on hoa: It quyet doan hon nhung de cam hon (bieu lp cim xiic nhieu hon) so voi mpt niia dan so.

Ban thuoc loai phong each nao trong bon loai phong each nay?

Bing trie nghiem thai dp ma ban gap 6 Chuong 3 khOng phi i la mpt bai kiem tra. Vi the, ban khOng the do hoac trupt, khong cd bat cii su lien quan nao de'n ke't

60

TU HIEU MINH QUA Y KIEN CUA NGUOI KHAC

qua tot hoac xau. Nhu ban da biet, phong each nao cung tot, phong each nao cung co diem manh va co nhung tro ngai.

Be xac dinh phong each cua minh, ban hay thu xem lai bang trac nghiem trong Chuong 3 va dem so d trong trong mOi cot, sau do ghi lai tong so.

Sau day la y nghia ciia cac con so. Cot d ben trai cung mo ta ban la nguoi phu hop voi thai do 6 ben trai dong ke (it quyet doan hon). Cot tiep theo mo ta ban phu hop voi phan thai do d ben phai ddng ke (quyet doan hon). Hay chon mpt trong hai d trong cd nhieu su lua chpn hon:

Ben trai ddng ke Ben phai ddng ke

Cot ben phai ciing md ta ban la ngudi phii hop voi phan thai dp phia dudi ddng ke (phan ung ve mat cam xiic nhieu hon). Cot ben trai md ta ban phii hop vOi phan thai dp phia ben tren ddng ke (it phan ung ve mat cam xiic hon, de dat hon). Hay chpn mpt trong hai d trd'ng cd nhieu su lua chpn hon:

Phia tren ddng ke Phia dudi dong ke

Neu diem so cao nhat ciia ban thudc:

Ben trai va phia tren: Ban cho rang ngudi khac nghi ban la ngudi ndng ve dc phan tich.

Ben phai va phia tren: Ban cho rang ngudi khac nghi ban Id ngudi thich lanh dao.

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Ben trai va phia duoi: Ban cho rang nguoi khdc nghi ban Id ngudi on hoa.

Ben phai va phia duoi: Ban cho rang ngudi khdc nghi ban Id ngudi ua the' hien.

Trong Hinh 5-1, ban co the xac dinh vi tri theo danh gia cua minh tren bang phong each.

Hinh 5-1. Bang td danh gia phong each

NGl/OI NANG VE DAU 6c PHAN TICH

NGITOI THICH LANH CAO

It quyet doan hon va

dl cam it hen

Quyet doan hon va

di cam it hon NGLffJI ON HOA

NGirOi U?A THE HIEN

It quyet doan hon va

di cam nhieu hen

Quyet doan hen va

de cam nhieu han

Phan danh gia bd sung

Khi xem lai Chuong 4, ban nghi phan Ion nhung nguoi xung quanh danh gia ban la nguoi it quyet doan hon hay quyet doan hon mot nua dan so?

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TU HIEU MINH QUA Y KIEN CUA NGUOI KHAC

De cam hon hay tinh de cam it hon? Thong tin duoi day se giiip ban lua chpn vi tri ciia minh trong bang phnng each. Neu doc can than, ban se thu dupe nhieu thong tin ve cac kieu thai do giiip ban du doan xem nguoi khac danh gia ve minh nhu the nao.

Mpt each khac de xac dinh phong each cua ban la chpn ra tu ba de'n nam nguoi thuc su hieu ban, nho hp dua ra loi khuyen ve thai dp ciia ban bang each ciing ban lam bang trac nghiem thai do trong Chuong 3.

Day la su danh gia da dupe huong dan, huong con nguoi dua ra danh gia ciia minh dua tren nhung tieu chi cu the ve thai dp qua cac bang liet ke.

Bay gid hay ke't hop su phan anh ciia tung nguoi lieu rang hp danh gia ban la nguoi quye't doan nhieu hay it hon, hoac dl cam nhieu hon hay it hon so voi mpt niia dan so. Sii dung Hinh 5-1 va danh dau vao o vuong ma nguoi thii nhat chpn cho ban. Cii tie'p tuc lam nhu vay voi danh gia ciia nguoi khac. Co the ban se nhan ra rang chi co su nhat tri chung chung chii khong phai nhat tri hoan toan ve phong each ciia ban. Do khong phai la su thong nhat. Dieu ma ban dang tim kiem chinh la mpt biic tranh chung ve viec nguoi khac danh gia nhu the nao ve each cu xi i ciia ban.

Ap dung dong thoi hai hay nhieu phuong phap

Hinh anh ma chiing ta co ve chinh ban than minh thuong dua tren viec chung ta mong muon cu xii nhu the

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nao cho phai phep hoac each chiing ta lo so thai do cu xii ciia minh hoac chung ta mong muon nguoi khac danh gia nhu the nao ve minh. Nhung mong muon va ndi lo so chii quan nay da bop meo hinh anh ciia chinh chiing ta. Giong nhu Ben Franklin da viet trong cuon Men giam ciia chang trai ngheo Richard (Poor Richard's Almanac): "Co ba vat cue ky ran: thep, kim cuong va tu hieu chinh minh". Mac dii ban nghien ciiu ciia chiing toi chi ra rang thong thuong mot nguoi co kha nang du doan phong each ciia hp chinh xac khoang 50%. nhung Chuong 5 khing dinh ti le nay co the tang len dang ke neu ket hpp mpt SP phuong phap tu danh gia. Va ban CP the cai thien kha nang tu y thuc ve minh bang each tiep thu su phan anh ciia nhung nguoi ban quen biet ve phong each thai dp ciia minh.

Day la mpt bai hpc qui gia de tim ra phong each cua chinh ban. Neu ban thay minh hoan toan khac voi nhung gi nguoi khac danh gia, thi ban ciing nen xem lai su khac biet nay. Do la ly do tai sao chiing toi khuyen rang khi tu danh gia ve minh va xac dinh phong each thi ban phai dua tren an tupng ciia nguoi khac ve ban. Do phong each thai dp ciia ban dua tren viec ngudi khac danh gia ban nhu the nac cho nen thu nhan su phan anh ciia hp la viec lam can thiet.

Vay dieu gi thuc day ban va dong nghiep, khach hang va nha cung cap ciia ban cu xii theo each rieng ciia minh? Hay xem su mo ta ve bdn loai phong each trong Chuong 6.

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C H l / O N G 6

B o n c o n d u o n g

dan toi thanh cong

Ban co mot phong each ndi bat. Noi each khac ban mong muon tao dung mdi quan he va lam viec theo nhung

dac diem cua mot trong bdn phong each. Luc thie'u thdi, mpt phong each duac hinh thanh gid'ng nhu sd thich va den bay gio ban van hau nhu le thudc vao phong each do.

Do phong each trd thanh thdi quen nen each de dang nhat cho ban la hoat ddng theo each nay. Do la viec ban muon lam viec phan ldn thdi gian nhu the nao, day chinh la "vung thoai mai" cua ban.

Mdi phong each deu cd diem manh va diem yeu tiem an. Nhung diem manh nay chi don thuan la bau vat tiem nang. Chung can phai duoc khai thac de trd thanh nhung the manh thuc su. Tuong tu nhu vay, diem yeu chi don thuan la vat can tiem an. Nhung nguoi thanh dat la nhung nguoi biet each han che nhung an hoa nay de tranh lam anh huong tdi tinh hieu qua cua minh.

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Mac du ban co mot phong each ndi bat nhung thuc te ban la con nguoi cua bdn phong each. Mac du mot phong each chi phoi mpt ngudi nhung xet ve mat thai dp tat ca chiing ta deu la nhiing con ngudi cd mpt chut da phpng each. Khdng mpt ai hoat ddng chi hoan toan dua vao mpt phong each. Khdng the tdn tai mpt dieu nhu vay, vi du nhu khdng the cd mpt ngudi nang ve dc phan tich tuyet ddi. Dii cho loai phong each chinh ciia chiing ta cd the tuong ddi manh nhung chiing ta cd the nhan thay nhung dau hieu hoac tham chi mpt so lupng ldn nhiing dac diem phong each ciia ngudi khac trong chinh thai dp ciia chiing ta. Giong nhu ngudi thuan tay phai dang hpc each diing tay trai, mdi ngudi deu sii dung nhung thai dp cd lien quan den phong each ciia ngudi khac. Trong mpt chiing muc nao do, ban va nhung ngudi ban gap la nhiing ngudi cua bdn phong each. Cd the ban se hieu timg phan trong chinh ban than minh qua su md ta cua timg phong each.

Hay nhd rang:

Ban khdng the thay ddi phong each cua chinh minh md no se theo ban suot cd cuoc ddi. Ban se thay doi theo nhieu each. Tuy nhien, phong each chinh la mpt phan co ban hinh thanh nen con ngudi ban va se tdn tai tuong ddi on dinh. That may man, chiing ta phai nhac lai rang khdng cd phong each nao uu viet hon nhirng phong each khac. Chung deu la nhirng vi tri tot cho tat ca mpi ngudi.

Ban Id ngudi da phdng each, phong each ciia ban la mpt phan quan trpng quye't dinh ban la ai - tuy nhien, do chi la mot phan ciia ban. Pham chat ciia

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BON CON DUONG DAN TOI THANH CONG

ban cung co ca phan phong each - nhung do khong phai la tat ca. Ban cung tin rang minh co tinh yeu; ban cam ket nhung gia tri va muc tieu ma minh theo duoi, nhung mdi quan he nudi duong ban, nhung thai do dac trung lam nen con ngudi ban va con nhieu hon nua. Rd rang viec hieu phong each cua ngudi khac khdng cd nghia la chiing ta biet tat ca nhiing gi ve ngudi do. Diing bao gio quen rang mdi ngudi ma ban gap the hien nhieu hon nhiing gi thuoc ve phong each cua anh ay/cd ay.

Ban hoan toan khdc biet so vdi nhung ngudi cd ciing phdng edeh nhu ban. Nhiing ngudi cd mot phong each xac dinh giong nhau d mot so diem quan trong; tuy nhien. su giong nhau khdng phai la tat ca. Giong nhu nhung chiec la tren mpt cay sdi, nhiing ngudi cd ciing phong each ludn khac nhau trong su gid'ng nhau. Khi ban bat dau nghi ve timg ca nhan cd ciing mot phong each thi han ban se thay su khac nhau giua hp la kha ldn. Thi du, hay nghi ve mpt so ngudi thich the hien su noi tieng nhu: Muhammad Ali, Carol Burnet, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Lee Iacocca, Jesse Jackson, Bobby Knight, Liza Minelli, Oprah Winfrey. Tat ca cac vi nay deu cd nhung dac diem chung ve mat thai dp. Tuy nhien, su khac nhau giua hp nhieu den ndi chung ta khd cd the tin duoc rang ho duoc xe'p trong ciing mot phong each.

Mot trong nhung thieu sOt Ion nhat ciia chiing ta khi xem xet cac dang phong each con ngudi chinh la viec bo qua nhirng diem khac biet giua cac ca nhan ciia

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4 PHONG CACH LAM VtEC

cung mpt phong each. Bung de cho minh rai vao loi suy nghi don gian rang: "Neu ban hieu mpt nguoi thi ban co the hieu dupe tat ca ve hp".

Sir chop nhan tdi cd cdc phong each cho phep ban su dung hinh mdu nay phuc vu cho loi ich cua ban chu khdng phai chong lai ban. Su chap nhan cc nghia la thua nhan gia tri cua mpt phong each chu khong phai chap nhan nhung han che cua no. Voi tu duy chap nhan, ban co the ca ngoi nhung gia tri co ban cua mpt phong each. Ban co the quan tam cong bang toi didm manh va diem yeu. Vai tu each la nguoi biet chap nhan va quan tam toi diem bat loi trong phong each ciia nguoi khac, ban khong nen bo qua hoac dung tung thai dp, nhung ban cung khong nen thoi phong no qua muc.

Boi lap voi su chap nhan la tu tuong phe phan. Nha nhan chung hpc Margaret Mead luu y rang con nguoi co xu huong dich chuyen nhanh chong tir y thuc ve tinh da dang sang nhung dinh nghia ve cap tren hoac cap duoi. Se rat kho ne'u nghi ve su khac biet giua con nguoi ma khong nghi toi cum tir tot hon hoac xau hon. Neu khong thuc su khach quan, con nguoi chi tap trung vao nhung tinh each it dupe mong dpi nhat ciia nguoi khac. Hp se an tuong vol nhung diem xau nhat chir khong phai la tot dep nhat trong phong each ciia nguoi khac. Hp dua vao su khac biet so voi khung tham chieu phong each cua chinh minh de danh gia rang su khac biet nay la sai lam. Hau qua la hp luon thich che bai, coi thuong, noi xau va gieu cot phong each ciia nhirng nguoi

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khac. Do khong phai la each tot de xay dung nen mpt mdi quan he.

Tuy nhien, bang no luc cua minh, mdi chiing ta cd the hpc each de hieu phong each cua ngudi khac vdi thai dp chap nhan va tham chi la ngpi khen. Chiing ta cd the thay cudc song se nham chan nhu the nao neu mpi nguoi deu ed chung mpt phpng each. Rd rang tinh da dang la huong vi cua cudc song. Chiing ta cd the cam thay de, chiu khi nguoi khac thich lam nhung viec ma chung ta khdng thich lam va ca nhung viec ma chung ta khdng thuc su xuat sac. Khi ban chap nhan nhiing phong each khac va ca ngoi nhiing difem manh ciia hp, ban cd the- xay dung dupe mdi quan he hieu qua hon voi nhung ngudi hoan toan khac biet nay. Vi vay, khi doc nhung md ta vfi bdn loai phong each sau, ban hay cd gang tiep can timg phong each vdi thai dp ngpi khen.

Mot to chiic co hieu qua Id mdi to chiic bao gdm iat cd moi phong each. Mdi phong each cd nhung the manh quan trpng nhung lai thieu nhirng didm manh ciia cac phpng each khac. Cac td chiic hieu qua ddi hdi the manh ciia ca bdn phong each. Peter Drucker, nha phan tich td chiic vie't rang: "Nhiem vu quan ly hang dau doi hdi phai cd it nhat bdn kieu ngudi: ngudi hay suy tu [ngudi nang ve de phan tiehj: ngudi ua hoat ddng [ngudi thich lanh dao]; ngudi quan tam de'n ngudi khac [ngudi on hda), ngudi ciia cdng chiing [ngudi ua the hicn[."

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Idling nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich

Phong each nam ben trai phia tren cimg ciia bang danh cho nhung nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich. Nhung nguoi thuoc phan hinh vudng nay thuong kiem che cam xuc dang ke va muc dp quyet doan thap (xem Hinh 6-1).

Nhung nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich thuong la nguoi cau toan nhat trong tat ca cac phong each. Hp muon mpi viec lien quan toi minh phai tuyet ddi chinh xac. Mpt so phong each khac thi lai hanh ddng qua vdi vang. Mot nha tu van ndi tieng trong linh vuc quan ly khuyen rang "hay sin sang, b in va trung dich", tuy nhien, nhung ngudi nang ve de phan tich lai sp nhirng ldi khuyen nhu vay. Truoc cupc ci i bien chat lupng kha lau, nhung ngudi nay luon hd khiu hieu: "Hay lam mpi viec chinh xac de khong phai lam lai". Hp dat ra nhirng tieu chuin kha cao va sin sang lam nhung cdng viec ton thdi gian de dat dupe hoac vupt qua nhirng tieu chuan nay. Nhirng ngudi nang ve dc phan tich la ngudi ddi hdi khat khe su chi tiet bdi hp tin ring su quan tam dac biet tdi mpi khia canh ciia du an, dii no quan trpng nhu the nao di nua, se deu d in tdi ket qua cudi ciing.

Nhung ngudi nang ve dc phan tich dudng nhu la ngudi khat khe nhat trong tat c i cac phong each. Do xu hudng ciu toan nen hp thudng rat khit khe vdi b in than hp va vdi nhung ngudi khac. Nhung tieu chuin qua chinh xac cua hp nhin chung khien hp trd nen tiet kiem nhung ldi khen va nhung ldi cam kich. Nhirng nguoi nay nen canh giac vdi xu hudng nay bdi no cd the khien ban nin chi khi lam viec vdi nhung ngudi thich chi trich nhung lai tiet kiem ldi khen.

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Nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich duoc xem la nguoi co tinh he thong va td chiic tot. Ve diem manh, phong each nay co the tao ra quy trinh co hieu qua cao nham gat hai nhung ket qua ndi bat va On dinh. Tuy nhien, nhuoc didm cua phong each nay la khuynh huong co trat tu ciia nhung nguoi nang ve 6c phan rich co the chuyen hoa thanh tinh quan lieu trong cac quy dinh thai qua va mot tu duy sach vo.

Phong each nay doi hoi cO du lieu cang nhieu cang tot. Khi ban nhin thay mpt nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich dang chuye'n du lieu nay thanh nhung thong tin huu ich thi ban se hieu su that nam trong cau ngan ngu "tri thiic la siic manh".

Khi doi mat vOi nii ro, nhung nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich co xu huong trd nen than trpng.- Nhieu ngudi trong so hp phai tinh toan, nhung mpt sd nguoi lai hanh ddng mien cuong bat chap nii ro. Nhu mpt thong le, hp luon ap dung phuong cham "can tac vo uu".

Dung hy vpng nhung con ngudi than trpng nay khdng quan tam den qua trinh dua ra quyet dinh. Hp muon khang dinh chac chan minh da dua ra su lua chpn diing din. Tuy nhien, su chac chan nay la khong the. Nhiing ngudi nang ve dc phan tich thu lupm nhung thong tin khi cd the, tham chi ho cam thay luOn ludn thieu du lieu cho su lua chon. Dieu nay khien ho khdng duoc thoai mai khi dua ra quyet dinh. Hp cd gang can nhac nhung lua chpn day khd khan nay. Do vay, nhung ngudi nang ve dc phan tich thuong sii dung qua nhieu thoi gian cho viec dua ra quyet dinh. Mpt sd ngudi tham ehi con trd nen cang thang ngay ca khi gap nhung quyet dinh nhd vi du nhu se gpi mdn gi khi di an ngoai hang.

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Hinh 6-1. Nhung phan tich chi ra muc do phan ilng va mile do quyet doan thap hdn mCc trung binh

l E 55

A n a l y t i c a l r i v e r s F o rvj

E R X V E INI E V E IM E

A m i a b l e E x p r e s s i v e

M G R r

Analytical: nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich Driver: nguoi thich lanh dao Amiable: ngudi on hoa Expressive: nguoi thich the hien

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Nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich thich o mot minh hoac chi co quan he voi mpt vai nguoi khac. Neu co the, hp lupn tim each theai thac nhung cupc hpi hpp Ion hoac nhung buoi tiec cocktail vol nguoi khac, hp thich 6 nha doc sach hon. NguOi thuoc phong each nay hiem khi tin vao nhung thong tin vit ma luon tan dung toi da Internet. Neu nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich co van phong rieng thi chiing ta luon tim thay hp trong do va ciia thi hau nhu khoa chat. Hp bupc phai van dpng bang each di long vong. Tren thuc te, nguoi thuoc phong each nay dac biet thich lam viec mpt minh hon la lam viec voi nguoi khac. Mac dii ban tinh ciia hp la thich su co doe nhung ban han phai ngac nhien ve tinh trung thanh ciia hp trong nhung hoan canh kho khan. Mac dii nhung nguoi thuoc phong each nay khong cong khai the hien su quan tam toi nguoi khac nhung trong nhung thOi khac quyet dinh, hp thuong co gang hieu ring tat ca nhan vien nen dupe doi xi i cong bang.

Cii chi ciia nhung nguOi nang ve 6c phan tich to ra thieu cuong dp. Hp di cham hon so voi nhung nguoi thuoc phin ben phai dong ke. Hp co xu huong nga ve phia sau ghe ngay ca khi dang trinh bay quan diem. Nhiing nguoi nay khong the hien nhieu dieu bp va nhung cii chi ciia hp co xu huong nho hon, kem linh hoat hon va kern manh me hon binh thuong. Hp cung khong the hien nhieu su giao tiep bang mat hoac dien ta tren khuon mat. Neu eo van phOng rieng, co the hp thich nhiing do trang tri mang tinh thuc te.

Nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich la nguoi tram nhat trong tat ca cac pheng each. Duong nhu hp it nOi hon nhung

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nguoi thuoc phong each khac trtr khi hp nghien cuu chi tiet ve mot chu de. Khi nhirng nguoi thuoc phong each nay noi, am luong ciia hp nho. toe dp npi cham va CP rat it su thay d6i trong gipng npi. Hp muon suy nghi thau dao truoc khi noi. Hp tiep tuc suy nghi trong khi dang noi, luot qua tri 6c de tim tu hoac cum tu phu hpp nham dien dat chinh xac npi dung. Dieu nay dan toi nhung do du thuong xuyen co the lam nguoi khac buc minh. Va boi vi hp luon nghi toi nhung gi can noi tie'p theo trong khi van dang noi chuyen nen hp co khuynh huong dung lai 6 giua cau va bat dau mpt y tuong moi vira nay sinh trong dau -dieu nay thuong gay cho nguOi nghe cam giac lpn xpn. Day la ly do tai sao nhirng nguoi thuoc phong each nay thich dung ngon ngu vie't hon doi thoai.

Npi dung cupc noi chuyen cua nhirng nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich co mot so diem khac biet. Khi noi chuyen, hp thuong tap trung vao cong viec nhieu hon la su quan tam toi con nguoi. Hp tiep can van de mpt each logic, tham chi trong nhung cupc dam thoai thuong ngay, hp ciing trinh bay theo luan diem: 'Trong luan diem dau tien...", "thu hai..." v.v... Nhung nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich luon tuan thii su chinh xac va hy vpng dieu do ciia nguoi khac. Hp muon nguoi khac cung cap cho minh nhung chi tiet cu the. Khi giai thich van de. thong thuong hp dua ra nhieu chi tie! hon muc nhirng nguoi thuoc phong each khac mong muon. Nhirng nguoi thuoc phong each nay co xu huong thich phan tich mpt van de va xem xet tinh phiic tap lien quan hon la dua ra nhung de xuat giai quyet van de cc tinh quyet doan.

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Harry Truman, mpt trong nhung vi Tdng thong My quye't doan, thudng noi ring ong muon la mpt nha kinh te "one- armed"; ong da qua met moi vert nhung cd v in ludn khuyen r ing "mot mat thi the nay; nhung mat khac lai the kia". Truman la ngudi thudc phin phong each ciia ddng ke ben phai da ndi thing ra ring sau cudc hdi thao vdi nhung ngudi nang ve de phan tich - nhung ngudi thich trinh bay cac chi tiet cu the ciia mpt van de se ching bao gid cd mpt de xuat dut khoat nao.

Nhung ngudi nang ve dc phan tich cd xu hudng dat cau hdi hoac dien giai y kien gian tie'p. Cau binh luan "cd the chiing ta nen xem xet van de nao do" cd the ddng nghia voi "toi nghi chiing ta nen lam no". Ddi khi nhiing ngudi nay dat cau hoi nhung thuc su day la mpt cau tra ldi "Ban cd nghi that sang sudt de..." cd the cd nghia la "tdi mud'n ban thuc hien hanh ddng nay".

Nhiing ngudi nang ve Oc phan tich khdng de Id suy nghi ra ben ngoai. Ho cd the cam nhan sau sic ve mpt van de giong nhu nhung ngudi khac nhung cd the hp se nOi ve thuc te chii khOng phii la nhung cam nhan ve van de do. Ho thudng tri dc hda nhirng cam nhan ciia chinh hp va ciia ca nhirng ngudi khac. Mpi ngudi thudng cam thay khd "doc" dupe suy nghi ciia ngudi nang ve dc phan tich boi hp the hien qua it cam xuc ciia minh. Ddi luc chinh hp cung khdng ddng cim vdi cam xuc ciia minh. Diu dc cua hp Ion tieng het r ing hp khdng the nghe nhirng gi long hp dang ndi.

Nguoi nang vd dc phan tich ludn cd ging tranh nhirng xuc ddng de d in de'n xung dot. Khi nhirng ngudi khac mat tu chu vd mat cam xuc thi ngudi nang vd dc phan

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tich lai dau chiing trong dau va trd nen lanh cam. Nhung nguoi thude phong each nay luon cho rang mpt phuong phap hpp ly se lam diu di nhung tinh hudng cang thang. No thudng de lai nhung ket qua ddi lap. Dac biet trong cudc xung dpt. nhiing ngudi thich thd hien tham chi con trd nen bdi rdi khi nhung ngudi nang ve dc phan tich cd gang yeu cau hp ndi nang nhd nhe va cd ly. Khi ngudi nang ve dc phan tich tranh xung dot thi nhung van de quan trpng bi gdi lai, con nhieu van de bi phd mac va cd the bd Id nhieu co hdi quan trpng.

Khi xet tdi van de quan ly thdi gian, ngudi nang ve dc phan tich trd nen phiic tap ky la. Hp ludn diing gid trong cac cudc hpp nhung lai cham chap trong viec hoan thanh cdng viec diing hen. Do la ly do de hieu vi sao nhiing ngudi thude phong each nay cd xu hudng tre thdi han cudi ciing. Chinh yeu cau mpt pham chat cau toan cua ngudi nang ve dc phan tich da khien hp dat ra nhung tieu ehuan qua cao. Ddng thdi hp lam mpi viec cham hon va can than hon nhiing ngudi khac. Hp kiem tra nhieu su lua chpn cung met liic, nghien cuu tiing su lua chpn vdi thai dp khat khe. Khi cdng viec nay hoan tat, hp thudng phai mat kha nhieu thdi gian de di den quyet dinh. Mpi nhip dp ciia ngudi nang ve dc phan tich deu cham hon nhung ngudi cd phong each quye't doan hon.

Khdng cd ai dupe xep loai hoan toan vao mot phong each. Phan ddng nhiing ngudi nang ve dc phan tich cd phan ldn cac diem nhu mieu ta d tren nhung khdng phai tat ca hp deu nhu vay. Vi vay, khi lam viec voi mpt ngudi nang ve dc phan tich, ban hay luu y tdi nhiing dac trung ciia phong each nay, ddng thdi cung tim kiem nhiing thai

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dp co the khdng thee qui luat. Giong nhu nhung phong each khac. co su them vao va bat di trong each thuc lam viec ciia nhung nguoi nang ve 6c phan tich. Khi chung ta the hien khong tot phong each nay thi no se khong phai la mot each lam viec hieu qua. Tuy nhien, neu chung ta sii dung tot phong each ciia minh thi con duong dan tOi thanh cong se rpng md.

Do 25% dan sd la nhung ngudi nang ve dc phan tich nen co the ban se phai tiep xuc voi ho trong cudc song hang ngay. Trong Phan II va 4 phan phu luc ciia cud'n sach, chiing tdi se trinh bay each lam the nao de cai thien cac mdi quan he trong cong viec an y hon voi nhung con ngudi t r im lang va cham chi nay.

Nhung nguoi on hoa

Mpt phong each ciia nhung ngudi thudng lam viec vdi ban la phong each On hda. Phong each nay dupe the hien d phin hinh vuOng ben duoi gdc trai (xem Hinh 6-2). Nhung ngudi on hda thudng td ra it quyet doan hon va de cam hon so vdi nhung ngudi trung binh.

Khi nhin vao Hinh 6-2, ban se thay ngudi on hda va ngudi nang ve dc phan tich cd ciing muc dp quyet dean. Bdi vay, trong phan nay, ban se nhan thay nhieu diem giong nhau ldn giua hai kieu ngudi nay. Su khac nhau giua hai nhom ngudi thude hai kieu phong each nam ben trai ddng ke chinh la muc do de cam. Ngudi on hda the hien nhieu cam xiic hon nhung nguoi nang ve Oc phan tich va diem khac biet nay eO lien quan toi so luong cac dac didm khac nhau ve thai dp giua hai phong each.

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Hinh 6-2. Ngildi on hoa the hien cam xuc nhieu hdn va it quyet doan hdn

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Nhung nguoi on hoa co kha nang lam viec theo nhom cao han han cac nhom phong each khac. ThOng thuong hp thich lam viec voi nhung nguoi khac, dac biet trong nhung nhOm nho hoac chi co hai nguoi. Hp khong tim kiem su noi tieng va hiem khi de cho cai tOi cua minh

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mau thuan vol nguoi khac. Khong giong nhu nhung nguoi thuoc phong each quyet doan, nhung nguoi on hoa duong nhu khong man ma lam vdi viec tim kiem quyen luc cho chinh minh. Hp cd the rat kheo leo trong viec khuyen khich ngudi khac manh dan trinh bay va md mang y tudng va hp cung cd nang luc td't trong viec nhan ra gia tri cdng hien cua ngudi khac. De tu tudng md rpng dpi voi y kien ciia ngudi khac. ddi khi ngudi on hda la cuu canh cho nhung y tudng dang gia ciia mot ngudi trong khi cac thanh vien khac trong nhdm td ra coi nhe. Nhung ngudi thude phong each nay cung cd nang luc tuyet vdi trong viec bie'n nhung y kien trai nguoc thanh mpt luan diem thong nhat duoc tat ca cac ben ling hp.

Su hao phong vd mat thdi gian cua nhung ngudi on hda lam tang tinh hieu qua ciia ho khi lam viec theo nhdm. Neu ngudi ddng nghiep mud'n xin ldi khuyen hay su giup do thi ngudi on hoa san sang ngung cdng viec ciia ho dang lam dd de giiip dd. Hp thudng tinh nguyen cdng hien tham lang cho nhdm, diing ngoai cac hoat ddng gay su chu y ciia cdng luan. Do su cdng hien tham lang ay nen ho la nhung ngudi anh hung vd danh. Mae du thong thuong tinh vi tha nay rat huu ich nhung neu nguoi On hda sii dung no thai qua thi trong mpt chiing muc nao do se khie'n ho khdng the thuc hien dupe ldi hiia ciia minh diing hen.

LOng thien chi tham lang ciia nhung ngudi on hOa chinh la von quy khi lam viec vdi ngudi khac. Ca hai phong each thude phan phia duoi ddng ke la ngudi On hda va nguoi thich the hien deu rat quan tam toi nguoi khac. Tuy vay, nhung nguoi thich the hien lai thuc hien dieu

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nay i m i hon. Nguoi on hoa ap dung phuong phap yen lang hon. Voi thai dp thoai mai, de gan, duong nhu nhung nguoi on hoa xay dung cac mdi quan he de dang hon va hp quan tam de'n ngudi khac nhieu

_Small_4 Phong Cach Lam Viec

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