Sardar Jokes 1

7/28/2019 Sardar Jokes 1

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Sardarji's Maths>> There is this group of 7 Sardars who plan to go to Delhi to thank the>President Dr.Zail Singh for his revolutionary policies, from which they>have greatly benefited. Moreover, they are his old friends, and are>longing to dine with the President. They agree that it would be>appropriate to use a taxi. So they go to a taxi driver and ask him how>much a ride would cost.>> The driver frets a little and tells them, "Sahab! If only four of you>were to be there I would charge you just the meter rate, but then since>seven of you would be there, you have to give me Rs. 10/- more.">> The Sardars agree and decide to take the taxi. The taxi driver takes>them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. The meter shows Rs. 18/-, so the taxi driver>says, "You have to pay me Rs. 28/-.">> Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they>decide to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e.7.>This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer:>> ____> 7 | 28 = 13 ( 7 x 1= 7 + 7 x 3 ! !)> 7

> --> 21> 21> --> 0> -->> The driver (naturally) is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs.13/-from>each of the Sardars. He thanks them profusely and the feeling of>exultant happiness is written on his face as he leaves them and proceeds>his way.>> Seeing this, the Sardars feel that they may have made a mistake. They

>decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the>President of the nation! After all the initial formalities are>completed, they ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi>fare.>> Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, "See, I am>not good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is>something I am an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to>the taxi driver and check the result. The other sardars nod their heads>(?) in appreciation.>> The President writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on:>

> 13> 13> 13> 13> 13> 13> 13> --> 28> --


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>>i.e. 3+3+3+3+3+3+3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+1+1, so this checks out. He then>says, "Yes, it's correct. But I can also call my close friend and>Finance man Manmohan Singh. It is always better that here checks it.>After all, he is a Finance man, you know!">> Manmohan Singh arrives, and when told of the problem, he replies that>he doesn't think it is a bad deal but says, "No problem! I will verify>it via mathematical computation. I'll verify it with multiplication.>That is the best technique for this, you see!">> While others watch in admiration, Manmohan Singh goes on to write as>shown:>> 13 x 7> ---> 21> 7> --> 28>> This checks out as well. Then he says, "This is really fine. There>should be no problem, President Sahab. After all, it is correct in all>the methods."

>

Banta singh Climbed the Qutub minar and unfortunately forgot to take hiscamera. He shouted from there asking his driver to get it. He shouted Shoutedand shouted but failed............ He got a brilliant idea ....... Lookingthru his Binoculars he just wishpered Driver jara mera Camera LekeAna............* * * Santa Singh bought a small skull and left that on his reading table. His

father noticed him and out of curiosity asked him how much did he pay for that.Santa singh started admiring about it and said he paid 2000$ for it. Fatherstarted shouting at him for wasting lot of money on stupid things like this andasked him how it can be so expensive. Santa replied that its not the skull ofan ordinary man and it happend to be the skull of GURUNANAK ji. Father startedyelling more loudly and said Arrreee Gadhe..... Gurunanak to bahut bada admehai. Ye kaise ho sakta hai ki uska khopdi itna chota ho..... Jaa jaldi chalabhi ye vapas lout ayenge........... (both of them went to the shop) Father :Kya kamaal kar diya yaar.........bacha bolke itna dokha doge.........Gurunanakji utna bada admi hai uska khopdi itna chota kaisa ho sakta.............. chalpaise vapas kar. shop owner : saaab .......... ye unka bachpan ka hai (santaand father returned home happily).* * *

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Tenwere Sardar, and one was a Gujju. They all decided that one person shouldget off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone woulddie. No one could decide who should go, so finally the Gujju said, "I'll getoff." After a really touching speech from the Gujju saying he would get off,all of the Sardars started clapping. Problem solved>Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the samebox.


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**************War On US ************************

Telephone in the White House rang. "Hello Mr. Clinton," a heavilyaccented voice says. "This is Santa Singh down in Chandigadh, Punjab. Iam ringing to inform you that I am officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Santa Singh," Bill replies, "This indeed is important news! Tellme, how big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," says Santa Singh after a moments calculation,"There is myself, my cousin Banta Singh, my next door neighbourGurjinder and the entire Kabbadi team from the Village. That makes 8!"

Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Santa Singh that I have 1 millionmen in my army waiting to move on my word."

"OK," says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Santa Singh calls back. "Right Mr. Clinton,the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"

"What equipment would that be, Santa Singh?" Bill asks.

"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Gill's tractor fromthe farm."

Once more Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Santa Singh that I have50,000 tanks, 2000 mine layers,10,000 armored cars and my army hasincreased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke."

"I'll be dogged!" says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, Santa Singh calls again the next day."Right Mr. Clinton,the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We'vegotten out old Govind's crop sprayer with a couple of rifles in thecockpit and the Hockey team has joined us as well!"

Once more Bill sighs and says "I must tell you Santa Singh that I have4000 bombers and 8000 high maneuverability attack planes and my militaryinstallations are surrounded by laser guided surface to air missiles andsince we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."

"Oh cripes," says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back."

Santa Singh calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Clinton, I am sorry totell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm very happy to hear that," says Bill. "Why the sudden change ofheart?"

"Well," says Santa Singh, "We've all had a chat and to be sure, there'sno way we can cope with 2 million prisoners of war."

*********************

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to thepearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due tothe advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a


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prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" areToday and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and

Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer iscorrect.

But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"

The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word

joke # 1.

Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemyof Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of Banta's horse.At this both Santa and Banta gets confused again .So, Santa cuts off his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blindand so on .And the enemy alsokept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemyalso went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to differenciate between their horses.So, after putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the w

hite .

joke #2

Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.Itread "Parne wala gadha". Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased and wrote back "likhene waala gadha"

joke #3

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the sardarji deserved

more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home.On reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

joke #4

Two Sardarjis are on a railway station. "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" asks the first. "No," answers the Railroad man "Can I?" asks the second Sardarji


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joke #5

Two sardarjis walked toward each other on a country road. One carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," first sardarji drawled, "what's in the bag?" Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?" "You can have both of them." "OK," first sardarji said. "Five."

joke #6

An surd and a friend are sitting in a cinema. Just before the break they see a cactus and in some distance a cowboy. During the break the friend says to the surd: "I bet the cowboy will ride into the cactus." The surd answers:"I do not believe that." They agree that the looser invites the winner to a bottle of wine after the film. It turns out that the friend wins. So after the film they drink together the bottle of wine in a restaurant near the cinema. Then the friend says:"I must confess that the bet was not fair. I saw the film for the second time."The surd replies: "And I saw it for the fourth time, but I did not think that this fool rides into the cactus again."

Sardar Jokes 1

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