Working With & Leading Difficult People

Chaz Arnett

Juvenile Defender

Baltimore Juvenile Justice Center

Email: chaz.arnett@gmail.com

Why Is This Important?

•  Difficult person may be your boss

•  Need to develop a skill or learn a technique that the difficult person has mastered

•  Being evaluated for team work done with difficult person

•  Can not avoid difficult person

•  Needing to increase productivity of a difficult employee you manage/supervise

•  Difficult person has access to networks you need to tap into

•  Untapped potential in difficult person that could be useful

•  Maintaining a low stress work environment

Five Types Of Difficult People

•  Ben The Bully

•  Negative Natalie

•  Lazy Larry

•  Udonis the Underminer / Brutus The Backstabber

• Micromanaging Michelle

Ben The Bully

Bully Characteristics

•  Prevents others from speaking at meetings or events

•  Publicly criticizes coworkers/team members in demeaning and rude ways

•  Uses intimidation to either coerce into or block others from work and projects

•  Extreme arrogance masking insecurities (Know-it-alls)

•  Hyper-competitive behaviors

•  Feeds off of being in the control of others

Dealing With Bullies?

•  Bullies MUST be confronted in constructive ways

•  For challenging public attacks, use humor to poke fun at the bully and cast their mean spirited attempts as silly

•  Address the bully privately to express your concerns and fend off any signs of weakness

•  Never forfeit control by losing your composure

•  Lean on friends and church leaders for advice on how to navigate

•  In severe incidents raise issue with management/administration (careful not to be perceived as weak or a whiner)

•  In less severe scenarios, or where the bully is your subordinate, seek in-roads with bully by learning more about him/her and what drives them

Negative Natalie

Characteristics of Negative Natalie?

•  Pessimistic about work projects and their value

•  Unhappy about current status/position at work and in personal life

•  Shoots down others’ hopefulness and creativity, and saps other people’s energy

•  Self-defeatist nature leads to intended and unintended assaults on leadership/work progress and productivity

•  Believes something fundamental, has not been given or has been taken from him/her at work

•  Attempts to form disgruntled groups/cliques

Neutralizing Negativity?

•  Avoidance only works to a minimal, and silence is acquiescence. To lead, grow, addressing the “Debbie Downer” may be necessary.

•  Stepping back and not taking things personally (separate the person from the issue)

•  Leverage direction and flow of communications/conversations

•  Shift from being reactive to the negative person to being proactive

•  Pick your battles wisely and save energy

•  Listen. Hear the negative person out, but continually force them to reflect on concrete solutions, instead of simply venting.

Lazy Larry

Characteristics of Lazy Larry

•  Avoids tough projects and heavy work assignments

•  Does not follow through on scheduled assignments and deadlines

•  Never volunteers or assists other coworkers or team members

•  May be wrestling with a lack of confidence in being able to take on several tasks

•  Does not care about the quality of their work

•  Deny ever making commitments that they do not uphold

Motivating Lazy Larry?

•  Provide unexpected “shout outs” to the individual for the work they do (affirmation)

•  Focus on what assets are available to the person and what can be done, versus focus on what has not been done

•  Be more strategic assigning projects, setting deadlines, and providing feedback

•  Refuse to be an enabler. Doing extra work to cover for lazy coworker or team member can quickly lead to burnout

•  Focus on your own work product and be more aggressive in making sure your boss/supervisor is aware of all the work you are specifically doing if on a team project

Udonis The Underminer / Brutus The Backstabber

Characteristics of the Underminer

•  Revels in office or workplace gossip and/or drama, because any and all information is seen as useful ammo

•  Self-centered; will always look out for themselves first over the team

•  Will never assume accountability for failures/inactions that make you or the team look bad

•  Will unabashedly assume credit for other people’s ideas and work

•  Refuses to assist others unless it is perceived to benefit the underminer

•  Exposes your missteps (or actions characterized as missteps) to management in attempts to make themselves look better

Blocking the Backstabber

•  Always cover your tracks and protect yourself from sabotage

•  Stay above the fray on office gossip and drama, and never give too much information for others to use

•  Ensure that your office “confidant” is truly reliable; or if you can/should even have one

•  The backstabber is never openly undermining you. Be sure to identify who may be working against you to be better able to neutralize that person

•  Remove the Shield: seeking advice and input from potential underminers even when you do not need it

Micromanaging Michelle

Characteristics of the Micromanager

•  Lacks confidence in team and others

•  Needs work done in ONE way and ONE way only: THEIR way

•  Incessant inspections on work progress

•  Re-write/re-do reports and projects to their own specifications

•  Stifles creativity and individuality

•  Fails to get the most out of her employees by preventing development and growth

Managing Micromanagement

•  Be more strategic in getting tasks, assignments, and projects documented in writing, with detail

•  Seek out other avenues for additional work from another manager or supervisor

•  Be proactive and develop professional growth map/calendar to discuss with manager

•  Meeting manager in nonthreatening (less intense environment); after work events; see each other in a different light

•  Reflect and evaluate the worth/benefit of experience versus the work environment