Dopamine

Our culture, offers countless opportunities to over-stimulate ourselves with dopamine: alcohol, compulsive shopping, recreational drugs, junk food, and so on. Indeed, we do not even have to leave our computers.

Adrenaline (excitement)

Adrenaline is present during times of high stimulation and risk taking. For Christians, it appears that this could be considered the “forbidden fruit” phenomenon and it holds true when it comes to pornography and other objects of sexual addiction.

Oxytocin (connection)

Oxytocin (attachment hormone)

selfless desire to nurture and be close

reduces cravings

calms you down

Oxytocin (connection)

How do we produce it?

Caring touch, especially stroking, is one way. Another is selfless giving—or nurturing another—as a parent would a child. Singing, pursuing our hobbies, gazing into our spouses eyes. Neurochemicals and behavior tend to be circular. That is, a change in behavior induces changes in neurochemistry, and vice versa.

OXYTOCINCulturally speaking, one could argue that the pursuit of attachment has focused more on stimulating dopamine production (i.e. sex as the means of “attaching”) rather than taking the oxytocin pathway (emotional and non-sexual touching as means of attachment).

In the limbic system, or emotional center of the brain, oxytocin levels can begin to rise at orgasm and increase to four times their normal state.While this experience is not uniform, the benefits of such an experience include a stronger physical connection in the relationship and more emotional responsiveness between partners.

Prefrontal cortex problems

Adapted from Siegel (2007)

Body regulation

Attenuated communication

Affective regulation/emotional balance

Response flexibility

Empathy

Insight/self-awareness

Fear modulation/extinction

Intuition

Morality

Prefrontal Cortex Problems

• Short attention span

• Impulsivity

• Procrastination

• Disorganization

• Poor judgment

• Lack of empathy and

insight

What it is Psychologically

Metaphoric ConnectionMetaphoric Connection

A pathological compensation for lack of connection

The Role of Sexual Fantasy

Sexual fantasies commonly include elements of

responsiveness, approval, acceptance, and desirability?

These are common characteristics of human connection

Pornography abusers can use these images to meet core needs for connection

ConnectionMuch of the draw is the enthusiasm in which their imaginary sexual partner responds to them.

When something goes wrong in forming connections, we can compensate through fantasy.

Fantasies are ways of artificially creating connections when we are unable to or our partners continually disappoint.

95% of sexual addicts are unable to relationally sooth. (Leedes, 1999)

Fantasies can generate beliefs about worthiness, responsiveness, and affirmation.

Hungry touch vs. Selfless touch

Touching is the most powerful way to establish a human relationship. Touching contains more than physical touch; it also includes emotional and spiritual touch.

Hungry touch is about grabbing and wanting something

Selfless touch brings comfortHungry touch does not bring about

mutual giving and receiving

Selfless touch brings about tender Acts of communication