63415342v3

BREAKING THROUGH BIAS COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES FOR WOMEN IN LITIGATIONAndrea S. KramerPartnerChair, Financial Products, Trading & Derivatives GroupChair, Gender Diversity SubcommitteeMcDermott Will & Emery LLPakramer@mwe.com

Special Address2015 Women in LitigationSeptember 25, 2015Loyola School of Law©Andrea S. Kramer 2015. All rights reserved.

63415342v3

2

The Elephant in the RoomGender Inequality

Women have difficulty advancing in traditionally male careers like the legal profession Expectations are uninterrupted progress up the ranks Relentless commitment to long hours at work or on the

road The subjective mind set of people who control

women’s career advancement Deep-seated stereotypes about women, men,

families, careers, and leadership

63415342v3

3

Gender Stereotypes

Beliefs about characteristics, attitudes, and behaviors

Simplify cognitive processes Used to quickly decide how

to evaluate and relate toother people

Unconsciously used todifferentiate and categorizepeople by “type”

63415342v3

4

Scripts for Discrimination

Scripts for how we relate to other people once sorted

Can be benign and harmless, underpinning much of ethical social conduct

Discriminatory scripts hurt minority groups and women in traditionally male careers

Also hurts men in traditionally female careers

63415342v3

5

Gender Sorting

Largely benign and evolutionarily valuable Gender sorting is harmful when it assigns

characteristics beyond biological ones to people Gender stereotypes

have changed littleover the last 40 years

63415342v3

6

Feminine Stereotypes (Communal)

Affectionate Compassionate Eager to soothe hurt feelings Emotional Friendly Gentle Mild Modest Pleasant Sensitive to the needs of others Tender Understanding Warm

63415342v3

7

Masculine Stereotypes (Agentic)

Achievement-oriented Aggressive Assertive Dominant Forceful Independent Self-confident Strong Tough Unemotional Willing to take a stand Willing to take risks

63415342v3

8

Successful Leader Stereotypes (Agentic)

Able to take charge Action oriented Assertive Inspirational Problem-solvers Risk-takers Self-confident

63415342v3

9

Successful Lawyer Stereotypes

Same as a successful leader Uninterrupted progress up the ranks Relentless commitment to long hours

At work On the road

63415342v3

10

Assumptions

Assumptions are that women have “feminine” characteristics (communal) and men have “masculine” characteristics (agentic)

Successful lawyers are agentic and men are agentic, therefore men should be lawyers

Caregivers are communal and women are communal, therefore women should be caregivers

Just because women are women, they are not suited for stereotypically male careers like the law

63415342v3

11

Gender-Loaded Words

Abrasive Aggressive Angry Bossy Breathless Catty Difficult Emotional

Harpy High maintenance Irrational Out of control Shrill Strident Takes everything

personally Unlikable

63415342v3

12

Biases

Women can receive less challenging assignments, less supervisory roles, less advancement, and less compensation

Small amount of bias accumulates over time into significant job disadvantages

Businesses lose talent, growthopportunities, and profits

63415342v3

13

Discriminatory Operation

Descriptively tell us what women and men are like.

Prescriptively tell us what women and men should be like.

Proscriptively tell us what women and men should not be like.

All of these assumptions discriminate against women in traditionally male careers like the law.

63415342v3

14

Prescriptive and Proscriptive Discrimination

Prescriptions and proscriptions work together to hold women back.

If women show they are sensitive to others feelings, kind, and thoughtful, they are well liked, but seen as less competent for leadership roles than men with similar talents.

Agentic women increase their perceived competence but reduce their likability because they are seen as competent but selfish and unlikable.

63415342v3

15

Hostile Biases Negative views about women’s competence or suitability

for certain tasks or positions. Recent Study: Science professors (male and female)

favored male students:

Same application for science lab manager position but 50% had a woman’s name and 50% had a man’s name

Both male and female faculty consistently judged the applications from women as less competent and less worthy of being hired, offered women a smaller starting salary and offered less career mentoring

This was the result even though the applications were exactly the same

63415342v3

16

Benevolent Biases

Women are believed to be “naturally” more kind, emotional and compassionate but men are believed to be “naturally” stronger, rational and powerful.

Solicitousness for women’s welfare and their family responsibilities.

Praise women for performance but assign them devalued assignments.

If women are believed to be emotional, mild and sensitive, women get assignments less difficult and challenging than those given to men.

This polite “help” and sympathy undermines women’s careers and can be insulting.

63415342v3

17

Double Standard

Women must prove their competence Men are presumed to be competent Women must repeatedly prove competence through

achievements “He’s skilled. She’s lucky.”

Same behavior is viewed differently “He’s thoughtful. She’s hesitant.” “He’s decisive. She’s impulsive.” “He’s busy. She has trouble with deadlines.”

Women’s mistakes are remembered long after men’s are forgotten

Evaluators are more likely to notice and remember information that confirms (rather than contradicts) stereotypes.

63415342v3

18

Double Bind

Communal women are viewed as warm, good natured, and likable but not competent.

Agentic women are viewed as competent but evaluated negatively as not likable.

Actions applauded in men are seen as unacceptable in women. “He’s incisive. She’s abrasive,

too outspoken, not a team player and lacks interpersonal skills.”

“He knows his own worth.She’s a shameless self-promoter.”

63415342v3

19

Double Bind (cont’d)

Women are evaluated favorably when they conform to traditional feminine roles but not if they don’t conform.

Women are left in less valued jobs, with limited advancement opportunities.

Successful lawyers are assumed to be men, so women lawyers are assumed to be incompetent (if communal) or not nice (if agentic).

63415342v3

20

Beware the Double Bind Too tough, too soft, but never “just right.” Women must prove they can lead. Women lawyers are “competent” or “likable,” but rarely

both. If women speak in an inclusive (communal)

way, seen as ineffective. If women speak straight forward and directly

(agentically), seen as unfeminine or aggressive. If a man gets angry at work, he can be admired for it. If a woman gets angry at work, she is “out of control,”

“emotional,” or “incompetent.” Successful women lawyers use a combination of both

agentic and communal traits.

63415342v3

21

Stereotyping: The Maternal Wall

Pregnant women and mothers face the Maternal Wall Strong workforce bias against them When women need time off to handle family matters,

they are viewed as lacking commitment and competence

Hostile stereotyping: “Mothers belong at home” Working mother told her place is in the home

Benevolent stereotyping: “Killing Moms with kindness” Senior lawyers do not consider a

mother for a major project on the assumption she will not want to work the hours or travel

63415342v3

22

Stereotyping: The Maternal Wall (cont’d)

Strong presumption that working mothers cannot do both jobs well and must be less committed and competent (particularly part-time employees)

Many career opportunities are basedon what men think working mothers should do, rather than asking them what they want to do

63415342v3

23

Double Jeopardy

Extensive literature documents negative assumptions triggered by race or ethnicity

Women of color face both gender and racial or ethnic biases

63415342v3

24

Gender Communication Tendencies

63415342v3

25

What It’s All About

Non-verbal tendencies in gender communication- Body language- Physical appearance- Use of physical space

Language content and patterns

63415342v3

26

Non-Verbal Differences Body Language

Use of physical and personal space Men tend to take up more space (high power); women less (low power)

Gestures Men tend to gesture away from their bodies (high power); women towards

their bodies (low power)

Listening Men rarely nod while listening (agentic); women tend to nod while

listening to acknowledge points (communal).

Posture during listening Men tend to lean back (high power);

women forward (low power)

Handshakes Men tend to offer stronger handshakes (high

power); women weaker handshakes (low power)

63415342v3

27

Language Content and Patterns

63415342v3

28

In conversation: In mixed groups, men tend to talk more, women less.

Directness of statements: Men are direct and sharp, women are vague and imprecise.

Commands or orders: Men tend to give commands or orders, women tend to be indirect and make suggestions.

Answering questions: Men tend to answer questions directly, women tend to answer one question with another question.

Language Content

63415342v3

29

Interrupting others: Men tend to interrupt more; women interrupt less.

Verbal opposition: Men tend to engage in verbal opposition without seeing it as a personal attack; women tend to avoid it and take it personally.

Anger: Men tend to shout or yell to express anger; women tend to cry.

Humor: Men are more likely to engage in derogatory or put-down humor; women are less likely to do so.

Apologies: Men tend not to apologize but if they do, it is with little emotion; women apologize and tend to talk about their feelings.

Self promotion: Men praise themselves more than they tend to praise others; women are less likely to praise themselves and are more likely to praise others.

Language Content (cont’d)

63415342v3

30

Communal Language Patterns

“I may be off base here but....”“I don’t know if this is helpful but....”

“Maybe I’m wrong about this but....” “I’m not an expert but….”

“This is a guess on my part but….”

63415342v3

31

“I’m Sorry”

Studies show women believe that they have done something justifying an apology more than men do. Women also say “I’m sorry” to express

sympathy and make connections. Men find it difficult to say they are

sorry. If women repeatedly say “I’m sorry,”

men think they must have something to apologize for (why else would she say she’s sorry?)

Try something like: “that’s too bad,” or “that’s terrible news,” “or I’m sure you are disappointed.”Not, “I’m sorry.”

63415342v3

32

When Getting Assignments

Women: Ask questions to verify and validate information and make connections in non-confrontational ways.

Men: Less likely to ask questions because don’t want to negatively affecting their rank or status.

Result: When women ask deferential questions, they may be perceived as “not self-starters,” “less expert,” “need their hands held” or are “too high-maintenance.” Men may get a “pass” because perceived to be “self-starters,” “aware of the scope of the project” and “with the skills to proceed.” The result is decreased information flow.

63415342v3

33

Women: Tend to respond with a lot of detail that may precede their bottom-line conclusions.

Men: Tend to respond by getting to the answer first, with details following, if asked about them.

Result: Women can be incorrectly seen as not understanding the assignment, lacking confidence or not being intellectually strong because the detail confuses their listeners.

Answering Assignments

63415342v3

34

Giving Instructions and Assignments

Women: Women tend to give instructions in a more indirect way than men.

Men: Tend to give direct orders. Result: Women supervisors can be incorrectly

perceived as indecisive, lacking confidence, or seeking advice rather than actually giving assignments. Women who are direct can be criticized as “bossy.”

63415342v3

35

Mixed-Gender Discussions

Women: Tend to focus on whether everyone has a fair chance to speak. As a result, women often talk briefly and remain quiet to allow others enough “air-time.” And when women do speak, they are more likely to stop talking when they are interrupted.

Men: Don’t consider the concept of “equal air-time.” Men “pile on” to show agreement and solidarity with what other men say. They tend to interrupt women more than they interrupt men.

Result: Men dominate mixed-gender discussions. Women do not get credit for ideas they initially raise but that are developed by men. Men miss crucial information and valuable contributions of women. Less effective work product.

63415342v3

36

How to Navigate Gender Bias

Learn the Written and Unwritten Rules

Advocate for Yourself Don’t Get in Your Own Way Manage the Impressions

You Give to Others Develop Your Grit and a

Growth Mindset Seek Mentors,

Sponsors and Allies Make Connections

63415342v3

37

Learn the Written and Unwritten Rules

Start with the official workplace rules, policies, and procedures

Study business best practices

Identify rewarded behaviors

Identify effective communicators

Watch successful lawyers to learn a trick or two of how to navigate workplace bureaucracy

Do you work with powerful people? Do you get high visibility and important projects?

Don’t live by email alone

63415342v3

38

Manage the Impressions You Give to Others

Be aware of the reactions other people have about you

Accurately observe nonverbal communication Listen carefully to what is really being said Understand that gender stereotypes and biases

are held by women as well as men Be aware of the stereotypical line between

technical and social competence

63415342v3

39

Response: Impression Management

Speak agentically and communally to show technical and social competence.

Decide when to speak (pick your shots), knowing silence is a form of communication.

Listen carefully and interpret.

Speak when you have something to say, and don’t worry about being seen as aggressive or dominating.

When senior men adopt inclusive, collegial “women’s style” conversations, often men and women both speak that way.

If you think you might cry, leave the situation until you can control your emotions

If angry, slow down, talk slowly and calmly. Don’t yell.

63415342v3

40

Response: Avoid Protective Defensive Behaviors

Some women hold themselves back, self edit, or dumb down to be liked

Other women choose not to seek out high value assignments requiring agentic behavior

And yet others choose not to seek promotion opportunities

You should avoid these responses

63415342v3

41

Build Up and DemonstrateYour Confidence

Mind Priming Power Posing When you feel powerful,

you can perform at the top of your game

Even if you don’t feel it, fake it

63415342v3

42

Build Grit and a Growth Mindset

63415342v3

43

What Does it Mean to be Gritty?

Persistence Sustained, passionate pursuit of your

long-term goals Try, try again

63415342v3

44

What is Your Mindset About Talent and Effort?

Fixed mindsets Believe intelligent people are

born that way Believe talent and intelligence

are everything Effort is fruitless Threatened by success of

others Hard to cope with setbacks

Growth mindsets No matter what your natural

aptitude, effort is what you need to improve and achieve

Committed and motivated It can get better with hard

work and effort and set- backs can be learned from

Effort is the path to mastery and success

Inspired by the success of others

63415342v3

45

Grit and a Growth Mindset go Together Grit predicts legal achievement, more than GPA

or rank in law school

Grittier people tend to work harder and longerthan their peers, are more likely to practice to improve their performance, more likely to “stay the course,” and not to get distracted by immediate, short-term interests

Grit is particularly important in challenging contexts

People with growth mindsets see their abilitiesas something that can be developed throughdedication and effort

The result? Those with a growth mindset tend tooutperform those with fixed mindsets

63415342v3

46

Lawyers, Grit and Growth Mindsets

Lawyers tend to be gritty Grit is related to success in law, including billable

hours and quality of work Grit results in legal success, grit does

not grow by legal success Lawyers don’t like failure

so, your mindset should be on improvement, not failure

Specialize in your filed and seekout challenging assignments

Feel exhilaration at your growth

63415342v3

47

Conversations with Yourself

Instead Of … I’m not good at this. I’m great at this. I can’t do this. This is too hard. It’s good enough as it is. I can’t do this any better. I made a mistake. I’ll never be as smart as she is. I give up.

Try Something like… What am I missing? I’m on the right track. I’ll keep trying. I’m going to work

at this. This will take some time and a real

effort. Is this really as good as I can do

this? I can always improve; I’ll keep

trying. Mistakes help me learn and

improve. I’m going to figure out what she

does and try. I will not give up.

63415342v3

48

Conversations with Yourself . . .

Instead Of … Nothing I do will make a

difference. I’m a failure. I’m not awesome at this. I’m so stupid. I’m too slow.

Try Something like… I’ll try something new. I’ll give it a try. I’m on the right track What am I missing? I’ll keep practicing.

63415342v3

49

Advocate for Yourself Approach self-evaluations with

planning, determination, and effort

- My personal observations- Based on careful review of well

over 1,000 self-evaluations- Easy to identify those written by

men and those by women Men (as a group) are self laudatory,

making their career objectives known

Women (as a group) down-play their accomplishments, act modestly, and are silent about their career objectives

You need to boldly recount your accomplishments (as long as you can prove them, if necessary)

63415342v3

50

Show Off Your Strengths

Teach classes, seminars, or CLE programs Participate in (don’t just join) professional associations Make speeches Write articles Get involved in community service Get out and be seen in your

professional capacity

63415342v3

51

Focus on Advancement

Tell your supervisors about your professional objectives.

Your feelings, desires, and accomplishments are NOT automatically known to your supervisors and colleagues.

Confidently explain your achievements and be prepared to prove them

Clearly articulate your career and compensation expectations.

Seek out mentors, sponsors and allies.

Seek out challenging projects that allow you to grow

63415342v3

52

Don’t Get In Your Own Way

Firm handshakes and appropriate eye contactare important.

Maintain balance in your delivery: Too assertive: unreasonable Too deferential: ignored or marginalized

Maintain balance in your demeanor: Too professional: difficult to establish rapport Too personal: difficult to command respect

Don’t wait your turn to speak because it may never come.

Dress appropriately and comfortably.

63415342v3

53

Seek Mentors, Sponsors, and Allies

Women and men you work with or report to can be excellent mentors, sponsors and allies if they know your career objectives.

Understand that traditional gender stereotypes and biases are held by women as well as men.

Offer to help potential mentors and sponsors with something important to them; relationships are a two way street.

63415342v3

54

Connect, Connect, and Connect Some More

Have a memorable one minute introduction (what’s new in your career), ready to use at any time.

Develop an inside and outside network to create a positive buzz about you.

Stay in touch throughout the year with those with a “say” in your career.

Participate on committees and other groups to build workplace alliances and friendships.

Connect in ways different from “canned” pleasantries.

63415342v3

55

Build a Support Network

Develop a strong support network of people you can trust

Find a trusted friend to talk with for support It helps you rethink and analyze your professional

and personal objectives It helps grit-building and helps you generate the

energy to carry out your objectives

63415342v3

56

Reflections

Make yourself valuable and have the right attitude.

When something concerns you, speak up. Don’t stew about it.

If you make a mistake, acknowledgeit and move on. Don’t dwell on it.

Get the most out of the impressions you make.

Communicate clearly.

63415342v3

57

More Reflections

Ask for feedback about your work. Don’t get defensive.

Give effective, motivational, and positive feedback (as well as constructive feedback)

Be politically savvy and get a sponsor

Beware of gender stereotypes and biases

Use Impression Management Consider gender communication

tendencies.

63415342v3

58

Discussion

Andrea S. KramerMcDermott Will & Emery LLPPartnerChair, Financial Products, Trading & Derivatives GroupChair, Gender Diversity Subcommitteeakramer@mwe.com+1 312 984 6480