25 Life Hacks

25 Psychological Life Hacksthat Will Help You Gain the

Advantage in Social Situations

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Social situations are among the most important in our lives. Yet, there is a

huge chance that you are oblivious to the plethora of unwritten social

rules that structure everybody’s behaviour. Failing to comply to these

cultural imprints can cause irreversible damage. Just following them

blindly will not get you ahead. Hacking them, however, will give you the

best results possible. Therefore we bring to you these – 25 psychological

life hacks that will help you gain the advantage in social situations

1) Assume comfort in any interaction.

Our brain is an incredibly complicated instrument. Our relationship with

it, is a love-hate one. We think we have control over it but usually

something unconscious dictates our actions.

In most of our social interactions, we find it difficult to feel comfortable

among strangers because our brain tries to protect us from exposure.

This however isn’t helping us when trying to be social and meet new

people, is it?

This is why assuming comfort is so powerful. Commanding your brain to

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feel that you already know the person you are about to meet puts you in a

position of advantage. It increases the chances of people showing interest

in you and consequently even liking you.

2) Pay attention to people’s feet when

you are approaching them.

Interrupting people when they are in the middle of an important

conversation is one of the most annoying things to do. It shows that you

have zero knowledge of social dynamics which will lead to unpleasant

social situations.

When you approach a group of people while in a conversation, pay

attention to their bodies. If they turn only their torsos and not their feet,

it means they are in the middle of an important conversation and they

don’t want you to interrupt them.

If they turn both torso and feet, it means you are welcome. This is

extremely important, because the right timing in such situations may put

you in a position of advantage, especially if the conversation was boring

for both sides.

3) Whenever you have an argument

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with someone, stand next to them and

not in front of them.

We’ve all been in situations where out of nowhere the conversation

started escalating.

Unless you love drama, I would suggest you to avoid these situations. You

might have the best argument in the world, but usually people get

irritated when they feel they are wrong.

So, whenever you feel that the argument you have with another person

(especially friends – it’s not cool to fight with friends) creates tension,

move next to them. You won’t appear much of a threat, and they will

eventually calm down.

4) Whenever you need a favor, open

with “I need your help.”

Admit it. We all love to get others to do stuff for us. Either because we are

lazy, or because we really need some help to complete a task.

Social dynamics show that when it comes to platonic relationships,

nobody really likes an asshole. So whenever you need a favor, start your

sentence with “I need your help.”

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In most cases, people will accept your request and help you out. This

occurs because we don’t really like the guilt of not helping someone out

and we do like to be the one who is capable of helping.

5) If you want people to feel good, give

them validation. Rephrase what they

just told you.

We love validation. Most of our actions are the outcome of our need for

validation. So what is the best way to get people to like you

(http://www.highexistence.com/real-secret-making-people-like/)? Give

them what they need of course. A simple example, is when you are in a

conversation with another person and he says something really important

for him. After he finishes, rephrase what he just said in your own words.

This will make him think that you are a good listener and that you are

really interested in him. It makes him feel he is the center of attention.

That’s validation right there.

Why Life Hacks Don’t Work If You Don’t Get Your Shit Together

First (http://www.highexistence.com/wake-up-from-the-matrix/)

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6) If you want to get a positive

response from someone, nod while you

talk.

This one is extremely powerful and also a bit manipulative especially if

the person is suggestive. So use it with your own responsibility and in an

ethical way. Getting a positive response from someone is usually what we

want. Whether it is making a sale, or promoting a viewpoint, we always

want people to get on board. Nodding while you try to deliver your

message is a powerful way to get the person to agree with you. People

usually like mimicking, so they will most probably nod back while you talk.

This will subsequently communicate to their brains that they have to

agree with you.

7) Want to see if someone is paying

attention to what you are saying? Fold

your arms.

Usually when we are in the middle of a conversation and especially if we

talk about something very important to us, we get lost in our talking and

rarely pay attention to whether the other person is following or not. So

instead of losing time talking to a person who is distracted and might not

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even be interested in what you are saying, do this. Fold your arms while

talking and see if the other person follows your move. If the other person

is observing you and pays attention, they will most likely mimic you.

8) Having trouble remembering

names? Repeat the other person’s

name during the conversation.

I suck at remembering names. I usually don’t even listen to the other

person when he says his name the moment we get introduced to each

other. So usually, I ask a friend to introduce himself to the person so I can

listen to his name. But then I forget it again. Awkward. Remembering

names is very important because we feel important when someone

mentions us. So the moment you meet someone repeat his name.

Example: “Hi my name is Alex” “Nice to meet you Alex. So, Alex how do

you know John?” And continue to repeat his name throughout the

conversation.

9) If you ask someone a question and

they only partially answer, just wait.

They will keep talking.

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This is a very common situation when you don’t know the other person

that well or your question wasn’t clear enough. If they finish the answer

without providing a full answer, just wait. Stay silent and keep eye

contact. If the tension becomes unbearable, raise your eyebrows. It puts a

bit of pressure on them but it communicates that you show interest. It

also sub-communicates that you are a person that usually gets what he

wants.

10) People usually focus on the

emotion and not on the subject.

This is very useful in public speaking but also in building rapport with an

acquaintance. Whenever you introduce yourself to new people, most

probably they have already heard what you are about to say. Well that’s

not a problem. Even if you want to talk about the most boring topic in the

world, make sure of one thing: Always try to evoke emotions. From my

experience the 3 emotions that you want to evoke are: • Excitement •

Laughter: Everyone likes to laugh • Intrigue: Leave a little mystery so the

other person has to invest energy to hear more. Don’t be purposely

distant, but avoid verbal diarrhea.

There are many techniques to turn a boring conversation into an

exciting and intriguing one, but here are a couple of my favorites:

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Pause: A lot of the time when we want to keep

someone’s attention, we tend to talk really fast, but

this subcommunicates neediness and nervousness.

A well-placed pause can create tension that makes

your words have more gravitas.

Tone and Inflection: No one finds monotone

exciting. Switch up your tone of voice from deep

for declarative statements, to high inflection when

you want to leave them guessing.

Paint pictures and compose symphonies in their

mind with sensory details: When telling a story,

take the person you’re talking to on an emotional

journey by describing the colors, sounds, textures,

tastes, smells, and how they made you feel. This

will cause their mirror-neurons to fire off, making

it easier for them to imagine actually being there

with you.

So if you want to be memorable, focus on the emotion behind the words.

People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you make

them feel.

READ: 8 Ways to be UBER Charismatic

(http://www.highexistence.com/8-ways-to-be-uber-charismatic/)

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11) Confidence is more important than

knowledge.

Two young candidates walked into the interview office to apply for the

same job. The first one had a Phd, two Masters and a Bachelor’s degree.

The second one had just a Bachelor. The first one was kind of shy, didn’t

talk much, his body language was turned inward. The second one had an

upright posture, was looking the interviewers directly in the eyes, showed

a lot of interest in the job and his answers where emitting confidence. We

don’t have to tell you who got the job.

12) Fake it until you make it.

No one became an expert on anything over night. However, the learning

process in everything you do is accelerated by commanding your brain to

think what you want it to think. In simple words. You are what you believe

you are. • You are confident if you believe you are confident • You are

attractive if you believe you are attractive • You are extrovert if you

believe you are extrovert If you want to look deeper into this idea look up

two words. Neuroplasticity (http://www.highexistence.com/its-all-

in-your-head-how-to-take-advantage-of-neuroplasticity/) and brain

rewiring (http://www.highexistence.com/how-porn-rewires-the-brain-

is-porn-bad-for-you/).

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13) Pose in a Power Stance.

This is similar to the previous point, but more concrete than a mantra or

belief. Go stand in the mirror, put your hands on your hips, thrust your

pelvic forward, pull your shoulders up, back and down, open your chest,

tilt your head up, and force the biggest smile you can possibly manage to

fit across your face. Even if you consciously know you’re just faking it,

your brain can’t tell the difference, and will release endorphins to match

your body position. This can feel silly, but it really works

(http://www.ted.com/talks

/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en).

14) If you want to be persuasive, try

and reduce the use of the words “I

think” and “I believe.”

I don’t really feel the need to elaborate on this one. Obviously these words

do not evoke confidence and the other person will most probably not

take you seriously. Change them to ‘I know’ and ‘I will’ instead.

15) A clean and organised environment

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affects your mood, productivity, and

others perception of who you are.

How many times have you waken up without any motivation at all? How

many times have you started working on something without being able to

get focused and inspired? Next time this happens, take a look around you.

Is your environment clean and well-organized? If not, take some minutes

to clean it up and put everything into place. You will feel refreshed and

reborn and productivity will spark immediately. But not only that, you will

come across as caring and punctual, two highly esteemed traits. Why do

think most of the big companies pay so much attention to creating the

best working environment for their employees? They know what makes

them happy and how it affects their productivity.

16) Want to find out which people are

close to each other within a group and

who is perceived as the leader?

Pay attention to who is looking at each other when everyone in the group

laughs at a joke. People instinctively look at and agree with the person

they feel closest to within the group.

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17) Whenever you call a person you

want to meet, show excitement!

Always have this in mind. Excitement is contagious. Why do you think the

music video from Pharrell Williams – “Happy” got so many views and so

many people were talking about it?

People love excitement! It is like an escape from their boring lives. Never

forget that.

(You can mirror this and show disappointment if somebody let’s you

down, making them painfully aware of their hurtful actions.)

18) Want to build rapport and gain

respect? Match body language.

This is quite a common topic among body language experts and works

well if you want to gain respect from a person that has high value.

Example:

You are in a social situation where a person has higher value among

others within the group. He is the center of attention and he totally

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enjoys it. How do you match his value? By befriending him!

If you want his respect and attention the best thing to do when you

approach him is to match his body language and speaking patterns. If he

has open body language and he talks with excitement and joy, don’t go

there with crossed arms and with an attitude of negating his words.

Approach him with the same amount of excitement and show openness

and interest.

19) When someone insults you, either

ignore him or mock him. Never lose

temper. Always control the frame.

Haters are everywhere. The more you feed them with hate, the stronger

they become. Never lose your temper. This is a great example of how to

deal with a hater. Enjoy!

19) Stand up straight, have warm

hands and always keep eye contact.

• Keep a straight posture and walk like a born leader. This

sub-communicates confidence and others will respect you automatically.

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• Keep your hands out of your pockets. If you don’t know what to do with

them, it is better to fold your arms rather than keep them inside your

pockets.

• Keep your hands warm. If you have a warm hand when you shake

somebody’s hand, you immediately become a more desirable person to

get along with. Secret Tip – wash your hands with warm water often to

keep them warm or take cold showers. (http://www.highexistence.com

/the-wim-hof-method-revealed-how-to-consciously-control-

your-immune-system/)

• You have heard this a thousand times. Here is the 1001st. – never lose

eye contact! Losing eye contact is like losing your confidence. One cool

trick when first meeting someone is to focus on their eye color and smile

at the same time. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, and taking the

extra second to gaze shows you are confident and present. (Be sure to

move your eyes away periodically, a constant stare will creep people out.)

20) The Benjamin Franklin Effect.

The Ben Franklin effect is a psychological finding:

A person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person

another favor than they would be if they had received a favor from that

person. Similarly, one who harms another is more willing to harm them

again than the victim is to retaliate.

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This is an unbelievable finding. In social situations, you can hack this by

making someone do something small for you, then asking for your true

favor. It’s such a small favor that they will say yes, and due to cognitive

dissonance their brain will rationalize that they must like you enough to

do you a favor in the first place. This is also called the foot-in-the-door

effect.

21) Don’t be afraid to touch another

person.

Touching someone on the shoulder or their knees creates an emotional

and physical bond. Especially during moments of joy, laughter and

excitement touching positively reinforces these traits. If you’re

uncomfortable with touching, remember 12, fake it until you make it.

22) Use the door-in-the-face hack.

The opposite of foot-in-the-door. Make an unreasonably large request

that will most likely be turned down (but if it isn’t then that’s even better!),

and follow up with your true intended, more reasonable request. The

other person will be more likely to agree to the second request.

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23) Always frame a request as a

choice.

No one likes to feel pressured into doing something they don’t want to do.

By subtlety rephrasing a request, you can make the person feel like they

came to the decision on their own terms.

Homeless people who say things like, “it’s up to you if you want to donate

or not” end up making more money than those who simply ask for money.

The same is generally true for bands that offer “pay what you want”

payment structures for their music. They know you can easily download

their music for free off the internet, so they encourage you to pay what

you feel is right.

A slightly more aggressive technique is the assumptive close:

This is a classic sales technique that can be used in any social situation.

Instead of asking for permission, “do you want to donate/go on a

date/get something to eat” assume that the person already does. Of

course, you can’t just force someone to do something, but a leading

question can nudge them in the right direction: “Would you like to donate

5 dollars or 10 dollars?”

Now instead of simply saying yes or no, they have to actively deny your

request and feel like a naysayer.

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24) If you work in a bar or in customer

service of any kind…

Put a mirror behind you at the counter. When an angry customer

approaches you, he will have to see himself in the mirror and will most

probably calm down. Nobody likes ruining his image.

25) Chew gum if you are nervous.

Evolutionarily speaking, our brains assume that if we are eating then we

aren’t in any immediate danger, so the fight or flight response is

weakened.

There you have it. The 25 most useful psychological life hacks that

can help you gain advantage in social situations. Use them wisely.

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This article was originally published in The Quintessential Man (http://thequintessentialman.com), and edited for HighExistence.

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(http://www.highexistence.com/recommended

/five-minute-journal-review/)

The simplest hack for happiness

Want to become significantly happier in just 5

minutes per day? The 5-Minute Journal is

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Their website (The simplest hack for happiness)

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(/writer/Andrian)

by Andrian (/writer/Andrian)

Andrian is the author of the best-selling book “Speak Likea Leader” (http://speaklikealeaderbook.com). The mostcomprehensive handbook on how to master the art ofconversation and become a great speaker.

My Website (http://thequintessentialman.com/) My Blog Posts (/writer/Andrian)

(http://www.highexistence.com

/15-big-life-insights-i-wish-

i-knew-at-18/)


/how-a-password-changed-

my-life/)15 Big

Life

Insights

I Wish I

Knew

at 18

How a

password

changed

my life.

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/25-psychological-

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Some people lack confidence. Some people are picked on and bullied. There are

some tools in this article that combat these issues. It doesn’t make you a sociopath.

I am an actor and I use body language to portray different types of characters. To

DCEEZY (http://www.highexistence.com/people/dustin/) (4) December 26, 2014

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help-gain-

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situations/)2

portray high class and high confidence characters I stand very close to how #13 is

described minus the unnaturally big smile. Also I speak slower and my dialogue is

generally written for me to speak in complete sentences. I make eye contact and

do not shift my weight. More important than the stance I take, is the ability to stand

rather still but not overly still. Often times after playing this type of character, I will

subconsciously continue to do this in my personal life for a time. The same is true

for the opposite type of character. To portray this type of character I avoid eye

contact and am generally rather twitchy.

For ethical reasons, I try not to be manipulative. I’m not acting in my personal life,

but when I’m confronted by a bully I have used similar techniques to change the

dynamic of a potentially uncomfortable and unwanted situation. I believe it is

unethical to use these types of behaviors to impose your will onto people. Above

all else, if you use any or all of these, remember who YOU are. Being yourself is the

most powerful thing you can be. Use the information in this article to be the best

YOU you can be.



/25-psychological-

life-hacks-

help-gain-

advantage-

social-

situations/)2

This was a delightful read. Something that should definitely be shared, and through

practice and routine, I have no doubt that it will be. Cheers!

sarahamor (http://www.highexistence.com/people/sarahamormino/) (50)

November 23, 2014



/25-psychological-

life-hacks-

help-gain-

Agreed its absolutely great read..

paulette dodson (http://www.highexistence.com/people/alexjohn/) (0) March 12,

2015

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advantage-

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situations/)1



/25-psychological-

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situations/)1

Awesome. Thanks!

Eric (http://www.highexistence.com/people/blankey/) (1,779) September 7, 2014M



/25-psychological-

life-hacks-

help-gain-

advantage-

social-

situations/)1

Yea I’ve decided this is sociopathic too but society is competitive. If that’s the

game you like to play it’s easy to learn the rules. You can transcend power plays by

making a servant of yourself or being audacious or arrogant.

jelica () (12) September 3, 2014



/25-psychological-

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situations/)1

Interesting…

Shahin (http://www.highexistence.com/people/shahin/) (0) September 8, 2014

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/25-psychological-

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situations/)1

I think socializing would be better for everyone if we didn’t see frame control as a

way to manipulate others but only as a way to protect ourselves.




/25-psychological-

life-hacks-

help-gain-

advantage-

social-

situations/)1

Except if everyone was protecting themselves, how would they ever open up to

anyone? No communication is the safest bet, and the most self protective.

Bryan Hellard (http://www.highexistence.com/people/xyver/) (297) September 5,

2014

M



/25-psychological-

life-hacks-

help-gain-

advantage-

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situations/)1

I appreciate this article though. You have to speak the same language as others if

you want to participate and it emphasizes freedom of mind a lot.




/25-psychological-

Are you a sociopath? Do you see people as objects f

phishenchips () (0) September 3, 2014

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