Post on 19-Jun-2020
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Coherence and Clarity in Scientific Communication
Richard Haase, Ph.D.
Senior Physical Sciences Editor
Edanz
Group Ltd.
August‐October, 2011
清晰连贯的学术写作
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Not learning rules of grammar, but learning how readers interpret text
Approach of This Workshop
Focus on cohesive and clear writing from the point of view of readers
Develop methods to help readers interpret your text the way you want
To improve your writing, you need understand how people go about reading
我们应该更好地了解读者的阅读
习惯以便最大程度地提高写作质量
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* Gopen
and Swan
“The Science of Scientific Writing”
(Am.Sci.,1990)
To improve your writing, you need to understand how people go about reading
The Concept of Reader Expectations*
That understanding stems from work in the fields of rhetoric, linguistics, and cognitive psychology
我们应该更好地了解读者的阅读
习惯以便最大程度地提高写作质量
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Information is easier to interpret if placed where most readers expect to find it
Gopen&Swan, “The Science of Scientific Writing”, American Scientist (Nov-Dec 1990), 78, 550-558
Good writers are aware
of these expectations
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Time (sec) Voltage (V)
0 +1.0
3 +0.2
6 ‐0.9
9 ‐0.5
12 +0.7
15 +0.9
Readers make important interpretive decisions about the substance of a text based
on clues they receive from its structureTime‐Variation
of Voltage
t(time in sec), V(voltage in Volts): t=15,V=0.9; t=0, V=1.0; t=6, V=‐0.9; t=3, T=0.2; t=12, V=0.7; t=9,V=‐0.5
Voltage(V) Time(sec)
+1.0 0
+0.2 3
‐0.9 6
‐0.5 9
+0.7 12
+0.9 15
a)
b) c)
Substance‐structure interaction
读者会根据文字结构的提示
总结出自己对文字主旨的理解
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Abstract
Introduction
Methods
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
Acknowledgements
References
Appendices
Research articles are generally divided into standard recognizable sections
IMRaDExtendedIMRaD
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This concept of reader expectations is evident at various levels of the text
a clausea sentencea paragrapha sectionan article
a unit of discourse: anything with
a beginning
and an end
Follow reader expectations, otherwise your readers will be confused
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How you say it matters …
Due to recent progress in the characterization of asset price bubbles using the arbitrage‐free martingale pricing technology, a new
methodology for solving the problem of determining in real time whether or not a given asset's price process exhibits a bubble based on
the asset's price volatility is proposed. The special case of a risky asset price being modeled by a Brownian‐driven stochastic differential
equation is studied.读者不单单是在阅读,他们
还会根据自己的理解去领会Readers interpret as they read
These sophisticated volatility estimation techniques combined with the method of reproducing kernel Hilbert spaces are illustrated using
several stocks from the alleged Internet dot‐com episode of 1998–2001, where price bubbles were widely thought to have existed. The
suspicions of the presence of bubbles in many of the dot‐com stocks of 1998–2001 are confirmed.
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The World of the Writer
A sentence could have … more than one meaning,
more than one interpretation
The World of the Text
The World of the Reader
Always remember, writers forget their readers at their peril.
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Subject
Readers expect verbs to closely follow subjects
Verb
Sentence
.
Without the arrival of the verb, we do not know what the subject is doing or what the sentence is all about.
读者希望句子的主语
后面紧跟着动词
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SubjectVerbSentence
.Syntactic Resolution
With excessive spacing, the reader wastes attention on looking for the verb
句法的答案
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How you say it matters…
“Recently, however, a strong correlation between oxygen incursion and bonded hydrogen in a platelet‐like configuration, i.e., hydrides in
grain boundaries, in which more platelet‐like hydrides lead to less oxygen incorporation , has indicated…”
“Three‐
and four‐photon nonlinear absorptions by the z‐scan technique in ZnS
and 1% Mn2+‐doped ZnS
quantum dots (QDs) with
532 and 1064 nm radiation, respectively, from a Q‐switched Nd:YAG laser fundamental and its second harmonic radiation, are reported.”
读者不单单是在阅读,他们
还会根据自己的理解去领会
Readers do not
simply read; they interpret
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Revisions
“Recently, however, a strong correlation between oxygen incursion and bonded hydrogen in a platelet‐like
configuration, i.e., hydrides in grain boundaries, in which more platelet‐like hydrides lead to less oxygen incorporation ,
has indicated…”
“We report on three‐
and four‐photon nonlinear absorptions for ZnS
and 1% Mn2+‐doped ZnS
quantum dots (QDs)
obtained by the z‐scan technique with 532 and 1064 nm radiation, respectively, fundamental and its second harmonic
radiation from a Q‐switched Nd:YAG
laser .”
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Readers interpret information more easily if its presented in the order they expect
o Readers expect verbs to closely follow subjectso With excessive spacing, the reader wastes
attention on looking for the verb
Sentence structure matters
把信息放在读者最想看到
的地方以便于读者理解
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•
Professor Yang Chen Ning
will give a lecture on Tuesday evening in the department, to which the public is invited,
on "My Experiences in Physics" at eight P.M.
o On Tuesday evening at eight, Professor Yang Chen Ning will give in the department a public lecture on "My
Experiences in Physics”.
Readers expect related words to be kept together
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Readers use the verb to determine
the action of the sentence
Strong verbs create greater coherence
SubjectVerb
读者会根据动词
判断句子的走向
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Linking verbs:arebe
coulddohasis
maymightwerewould
Active
voice is more efficient and powerful than passive voice
verb
verb
.
.
Active verbs:arrangeevaluategenerateinventmotivatepredictrefershowsteptrack
Active verbs are generally clearer and add more interest than passive verbs.
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•
My first visit to Beijing will always be remembered.
o I shall always remember my first visit to Beijing.
•
There were a great number of fallen leaves lying on the ground.
o Fallen leaves covered the ground.
•
It has been proved that he was seen to enter the building.
o He has been proved to have been seen entering the building.
•
Confirmation of these reports cannot be obtained.
o These reports cannot be confirmed.
Use strong verbs for more emphatic writing
Weak verbs confuse readers
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Academic writing should be as efficient as possible
Active voice is more straight‐forward and stronger than passive voice
Superconductivity's third side unmasked
A research team from Japan and China has settled
the debate over the mechanism that causes
superconductivity in a class of materials called the
pnictides. Superconductivity was discovered
in the pnictides
only recently; these compounds belong
to the class of so‐called 'high‐temperature superconductors'.
Despite the term, these superconductors actually function
well‐below room temperature. Realizing superconductivity at room temperature remains
a key
challenge in physics. That discovery would revolutionize
electronics as electrical devices would operate
without energy loses.
•
The special case of a risky asset's price being modeled by a Brownian‐driven stochastic differential equation is studied.”
o We focus on the special case where risky asset price volatility is modeled by a Brownian‐driven stochastic differential equation.
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Stress position
.
Subject
Readers naturally stress information that’s at the end of a sentence
Verb
Information is interpreted more easily if placed where readers expect to find it.
“Saving the best until last”
Syntactic Closure
读者会自然而然地将
重点放在句子末尾处
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Readers put more stress on information at the end of a sentence
•
This steel is principally used for making razors, because of
its hardness.
o Because of its hardness, this steel is principally used in
making razors.
•
A winding stream flowed through the middle of the valley.
o Through the middle of the valley flowed a winding stream.
The stress position usually contains the new information of the text
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Three‐
and four‐photon nonlinear absorptions
are reported
for
ZnS and 1% Mn2+
doped ZnS
quantum dots
(QDs). Measurements using
z‐scan techniques were obtained
for the fundamental and second harmonic radiation
from a Q‐switched Nd:YAG
laser,
corresponding
to 532 and 1064 nm wavelengths
respectively.
Physics Example Variations
We report on three‐
and four‐photon nonlinear absorptions for ZnS and 1% Mn2+ doped ZnS
quantum dots (QDs). We obtained
measurements
at 532 and 1064 nm wavelengths, corresponding respectively to the fundamental and second harmonic radiation
from a Q‐switched Nd:YAG
laser, using the z‐scan technique.
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Information beginning a sentence establishes for the reader how to view the sentence as a unit.
Topic position
Simple example: “Dogs like biscuit treats" “Biscuit treats are liked by dogs"
.
"First things first"
Readers expect a composition to be a story about whoever shows up first
Syntactic tai chi
读者认为句首的内容
是叙述的重点
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The beginning of the sentence links what came before with what will came later.
All the family went into the courtyard to see the new puppy. The dog
sat when her owner offered a treat. Everyone
was
so excited, they broke into applause.
Topic position …
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Reading skills might not be the difficulty but rather the author’s lack of understanding of reader’s
structural needs
.
.
linking backwards
contextualizing forward
new information that is to be emphasized
Neglecting essential connections,
readers construct their own logical links.
如果作者无法将关键点连接起来,
读者将根据自己的理解做出逻辑判断
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The debate over the mechanism that causes superconductivity in a class of materials called the pnictides
has been
settled
by a research
team from Japan and China. Superconductivity
at elevated temperatures was discovered in the pnictides
only recently; that
places these compounds within the class of so‐called 'high‐ temperature superconductors'. Despite
the
term, the
temperatures
at which these superconductors function are still well below
room temperature. Realizing superconductivity
at room temperature
remains a key challenge
in physics; that discovery
would revolutionize electronics as electrical devices would operate without
energy loses.
Superconductivity's third side unmasked
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Topic positions create links back to old information and context for new information
emphasized in the stress position
.
.
topic position
stress position
The stress position coincides with the moment of syntactic closure
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.
.
Topic positions
Stress positions
Reading each new sentence is like a “mental breath”, or “reader tai chi”, inhaling to summon
tension and exhaling to produce emphasis
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• helps give maximum clarity and consistency• works at all levels of discourse• progresses discourse from
o general to specific o abstract to concrete
• develops a story that evolves naturally with new information driving the narrative forward
Linkage and context between old information and new information …
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New information becomes old information that lays
context and links for more new information
Yin‐Yang of New‐Old Information
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.
.
Sentences that begin with new information, and end with old information, burdens the reader and creates ambiguity
OLD information
NEW information
no backward linking
reader looking for context
The misplacement of old and new information is a major problem that causes poor writing
新内容出现在句首,
老内容出现在句尾,
这种写作方法让读
者阅读起来非常吃力,
而且还容易导致歧义
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Provide essential structural connections, otherwise readers construct their own logical links
.
.
backward linkingIs lost
forward contextualizingis lost
NEW information
Reader constructions.
NEW information
A logical gap can occur if the connections are so clear
in the writer’s mind that these seem unnecessary to state
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Assertion‐Evidence‐Affirmation is the making of paragraphs
Assertion: the topic sentencecomes at or near the beginning
Evidence: explains or establishes or develops the statement made in the
topic sentence
Affirmation: emphasizes the thought of the topic sentence or states some important consequence
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Title, Authors,
Addresses , Abstract
Introduction
Methods
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
Acknowledgements
References
Appendices
Assertion‐Evidence‐Affirmation is the foundation of composition
IMRaDExtendedIMRaD
Scientific writings follows this format so that readers can extract the content they need quickly and efficiently.
Assertion
Evidence
Affirmation
Front Matter
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An outline •is a general plan of the material•shows the order of the various topics, the relative
importance of each, and the relationship between the various parts
•can be by drawn up using • topic headings (single words or phrases) or • headings in complete sentences
A writer should draw‐up an outline to prepare the manuscript
An outline reflects logical thinking
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• the writing process
• organizing the flow of your ideas
• identifying key‐points to each section
• providing a logical form to your paper
• showing the relationships among the ideas
• constructing an ordered overview of your writing
• defining boundaries and groups
Value of the Outline is that it helps in …
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Before starting your paper: •determine the purpose of writing•develop the thesis of your paper •determine the readership and journal
Then …
Developing the “Outline”
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Brainstorm:
List all the ideas that you want to include in your paper Organize:
Group related ideas together; place each key‐point/element in a separate file
Label: Create headings and sub‐headings Note your sources pertaining to each detail
Order: Arrange material in subsections from general to
specific or from abstract to concrete
• Identify the important details that contribute to each key point/element
• Make sure the organizing scheme is clear and well‐structured• Summarize question(s)/problem(s) • List the key‐points/elements pertaining to the
question(s)/problem(s)
Developing the “Outline”
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Thesis: Cigarette smoking should be outlawed in all public
places as it creates many problems for the general public
General model of an outline
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Synthesis of Large Area, Homogeneous, Single Layer Graphene
Films (GF) by Annealing Amorphous Carbon on Co and Ni
ABSTRACT
KEYWORDS
Single layer graphene, amorphous carbon, epitaxial
metal, annealing
INTRODUCTION
• Graphene, a quasi two‐dimensional (2‐D) material; Extraordinary
mobility in single‐layer GF
• Method to synthesize films suitable for large scale production
• Formation on single crystal transition metal substrates
• Catalytic chemical vapor deposition (CVD); The segregation and
precipitation of C atoms on polycrystalline transition metals
• Need to control the number of layers in the GF
METHOD
• Grow large area, continuous, and single layer GFs
on thin film Co or
Ni s
• Details of the process rapid ramp‐staging‐rapid cooling
• Figure 1 Schematic illustration of the graphene
growth process
• transport properties of graphene
by making a graphene‐based field
effect transistor (FET)
ANALYSIS
• Optical analysis of the resulting graphene
(optical microscopy; atomic
force microscopy; transmission electron microscopy)
• spectro‐photometry for transmittance measurements
• Figure 2 Characterization of the transferred GF; Figure 3 (a) Optical
microscope image of a GF (b) Raman spectra
• GFs
on Co with different a‐C thicknesses and cool down rates
RESULTS• segregation mechanism on highly crystalline substrates,
with fewer grain boundaries, appears self‐limited
• carrier mobility and Dirac‐point shift showing a p‐type
behavior
DISCUSSION• increased sheet resistances• transfer process onto SiO2/Si produced cracks or tears; • contribution of the PMMA to GF sheet resistance; • contribution of the contact resistance of the electrode
and graphene;
• the relatively high number of intrinsic defects (as shown
by the D and D’
band)CONCLUSION
• large area, homogenous, single layer graphene
films on
metals such as Co or Ni with high solubility carbon by
annealing the amorphous carbon
• homogeneity of the film is independent of the cool
down rate
• presence of very few grain boundaries in our crystalline
substrate suppresses the precipitation of carbon
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTSREFERENCES
• Geim
et al 2007
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Take‐home points for effective scientific writing
1.
Follow a grammatical subject as soon as possible with its verb.
2.
Place in the stress position
the "new information" you want the reader to emphasize.
3.
Place the person or thing whose "story" a sentence is telling at
the beginning of the sentence, in the topic position.
4.
Place appropriate "old information" (material already stated in the discourse) in the topic position for linkage backward and contextualization forward.
5.
Articulate the action of every clause or sentence in its verb.
6.
In general, provide context for your reader before asking that reader to consider anything new.
7.
In general, try to ensure that the relative emphases of the substance coincide with the relative expectations for emphasis raised by the structure.
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• Know your audience
• Know the review criteria
• Make an outline with a list of key‐points
• Make the manuscript readable
• Have someone else read your composition
• Leave time for revision
Take‐home lessons…
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语言润色
目标期刊选定
专业学术评审
摘要撰写
附信撰写
逐点审查回复意见
特色服务提高发表成功率
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语言润色
目标期刊选定
专业学术评审
摘要撰写
附信撰写
逐点审查回复意见
特色服务提高发表成功率
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专业编辑覆盖大部分学术领域
Dr Andrew Gorman2001 – PhD Geophysics, University of British Columbia, CALecturer at the Geology Department, University of Otago
Dr Conan Fee1989 – PhD Chemical & Process Engineering, University of Canterbury, NZDirector of Biomolecular
Interactions Centre at the University of Canterbury; has published over 160 journal articles,
book chapters, conference papers, and patents
Dr Natasha Lundin2007 –
PhD Chemistry, University of Otago, NZCover article author in Angewandte
Chemie
Dr Brett Kraabel1995 – PhD Physics, University of California Santa Barbara, USASpecialist in condensed matter physics, optics and materials science
Dr Stephen Cooke2006 – PhD Immunology, King’s College, UKWorked as a post‐doctoral fellow for both the Arthritis and Rheumatism Council (ARC) and Cancer Research UK (CRUK)
Dr Kristen Demarest2000 – PhD Neurobiology and Behavior, SUNY, USACurrently staff scientist at Scripps Research Institute
Dr Alison Sherwin1992 – PhD Biochemistry, University of Kent at Canterbury, UKHas edited over 3,000 manuscripts in the Health and Life Sciences for Japanese and Chinese authors
Dr Jennifer Smith1999 –
PhD Botany, University of Otago, NZExperienced peer reviewer for functional plant biology, and enzyme and microbial technology
Dr Richard Haase1983 ‐ PhD Physics, University of Canterbury, NZMathematical physicist with more than 30 years experience ranging from astronomy to quantum mechanics
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Journal Selector,为帮助作者克服发表过程中存在的阻碍提供了一个免费的工具。
Journal Selector采用先进的匹配算法和自然语言处理,确定稿件的“指纹”,并使之
与期刊内容的指纹相匹配。
理文编辑自2006年在北京设立办事处以来,目前已成为中国学术编辑领域首屈
一指的编辑服务提供商。理文编辑深知中国作者在发表自己的科研成果时所面临的
挑战。我们致力于克服这些阻碍,从而使编辑和审稿人主要基于每一篇论文的内在
科学价值来做出判断,并且使作者得以把自己的主要精力放在研究工作中。
www.liwenbianji.cn/journal_selector
Journal Selector
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刊内容的指纹相匹配。只须在Journal Selector中输入
摘要、导言或任何其他一段文本,Journal Selector即
可将这段文本与相关期刊进行匹配。其结果可根据匹
配度、影响因子和出版周期进行排列和再检索,从而
帮助你成功发表论文。
Journal Selector采
用先进的匹配算法
和自然语言处理,
确 定 稿 件 的 “ 指
纹”,并使之与期
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确保学术内容表达清晰
快速交付
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www.liwenbianji.cn
editing@liwenbianji.cn
Tel. (010) 6528‐0877
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